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    advice please

    My boyfriend is 5yrs older than me. The time zone in my country is 13hours ahead from his, so when we text each other is always morning here and evening there since he wakes up late in the morning 😄. It's been okay the way it is but lately he's not texting me for 2days not just once but he is online in all his social media accounts, I know his busy doing his art stuff, he is an artist. I feel like I'm ignored, he just can't text me a "hi" or what for just a minute. I know even if one person is busy, he/she will find a way to have time for the one he/she loves.

    #2
    Although technically you give a statement and don't ask a question, I understand what you want. I fully agree that if you really love someone, you find time for that person no matter what (except very exceptional circumstances like being in a hospital or so - but then you're not online, either, right?)
    Him always being online on his social media accounts, and not giving attention to you, could mean you're not a priority in his life. I myself do compose music, and I do understand that when the inspiration strikes, that is where the focus goes. But it's strange that he doesn't contact you, in my opinion. Do you contact him? How long have you been together? Are you exclusive yet?
    Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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      #3
      Haha sorry for that one . Im not always online but i tried to be online when he is also online to see if he will contact me but it doesn't work. Yah, i can feel im not his priority but i somewhat understand that, i also have my priorities work, family. We're boyfriend and girlfriend and known each other for 5months now. However, we're not yet that "official" since my parents and his mom and our friends didn't know what is between us. I and him wants to introduce each other to our love ones at the right time that we'll see and met in person. I tried contacting him if he doesn't contact me for 2 days straight many times and he always answer my text immediately. And he always says his sorry because his busy, there are times also that he's the first one to contact me after that 2days. I think im just over reacting? And being needy of him. And now, he has a new work -call center. I know he is busy since his having his training for a week as what he told me. Are guys really don't like texting? Lol

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        #4
        Have you tried to use other things than texting?

        My SO and I send a lot of pictures and emoji, we also use Skype about once a week
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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          #5
          I don't like generalizing, so 'all boys' are not like that. There are also women who don't like to text that much, and men who like to text a lot.
          Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by jen.me View Post
            My boyfriend is 5yrs older than me. The time zone in my country is 13hours ahead from his, so when we text each other is always morning here and evening there since he wakes up late in the morning . It's been okay the way it is but lately he's not texting me for 2days not just once but he is online in all his social media accounts, I know his busy doing his art stuff, he is an artist. I feel like I'm ignored, he just can't text me a "hi" or what for just a minute. I know even if one person is busy, he/she will find a way to have time for the one he/she loves.
            You are right, any person who really cares for you will find any opportunity to talk to you. After experiencing something similar w/a guy I was dating, I have been very wary of guys who barely text. Doesn't matter how busy the person is, if they care about you, they should make an effort to show you. He does have time for social media, so he isn't even thinking about you. My view may be pessimistic, but I spent 6 months on a long distance relationship w/a guy who barely paid attention to me. My current bf and I (granted he lives in my city), are always texting everyday. Even though we see each other a few times a week, we are always communicating. That feels so much different then begging my other long distance guy just to send me a couple texts a day, when he wasn't even busy. Talk to him about it and if nothing changes consider leaving him. I've learned there is no such thing as a bad texter, just someone who is uninterested, if someone doesn't like to text, they will find other way. Good luck!

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View Post
              You are right, any person who really cares for you will find any opportunity to talk to you. After experiencing something similar w/a guy I was dating, I have been very wary of guys who barely text. Doesn't matter how busy the person is, if they care about you, they should make an effort to show you. He does have time for social media, so he isn't even thinking about you. My view may be pessimistic, but I spent 6 months on a long distance relationship w/a guy who barely paid attention to me. My current bf and I (granted he lives in my city), are always texting everyday. Even though we see each other a few times a week, we are always communicating. That feels so much different then begging my other long distance guy just to send me a couple texts a day, when he wasn't even busy. Talk to him about it and if nothing changes consider leaving him. I've learned there is no such thing as a bad texter, just someone who is uninterested, if someone doesn't like to text, they will find other way. Good luck!
              I'd like to give some nuances in this, because of course we don't know (because we're not told, no offence meant) if he is online on his phone or on the computer. Being an artits, it might be nessecary to be online or somthing, to check things, or communicate with 'collegues'. I don't know what SO of OP is doing for artist, if he's a painter or a sculpturer or whatever, writer, may be... And of course, when you're phone is not on stand by, you're online on all the apps that you didn't close.

              On the other hand, if he is really active on the other social media and 'forgets' to contact OP, that is something totally different and in that case just forget what I said above.

              But yeah, communication is key. I would suggest OP to talk about this with SO.
              Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                Have you tried to use other things than texting?

                My SO and I send a lot of pictures and emoji, we also use Skype about once a week
                We also send each other pictures, enojis and videos but we never tried skype yet. I'll thinj about that thanks!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View Post
                  You are right, any person who really cares for you will find any opportunity to talk to you. After experiencing something similar w/a guy I was dating, I have been very wary of guys who barely text. Doesn't matter how busy the person is, if they care about you, they should make an effort to show you. He does have time for social media, so he isn't even thinking about you. My view may be pessimistic, but I spent 6 months on a long distance relationship w/a guy who barely paid attention to me. My current bf and I (granted he lives in my city), are always texting everyday. Even though we see each other a few times a week, we are always communicating. That feels so much different then begging my other long distance guy just to send me a couple texts a day, when he wasn't even busy. Talk to him about it and if nothing changes consider leaving him. I've learned there is no such thing as a bad texter, just someone who is uninterested, if someone doesn't like to text, they will find other way. Good luck!
                  I want to talk to him about it but i'm a little afraid of whatever his reply would be. I know i have to do it for me to get a clear answer. I remember he once told me when i ask what is the reason he and his ex broke up, and it was because he has no time that he was always busy. Sigh -.-

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by erwin1973 View Post
                    I'd like to give some nuances in this, because of course we don't know (because we're not told, no offence meant) if he is online on his phone or on the computer. Being an artits, it might be nessecary to be online or somthing, to check things, or communicate with 'collegues'. I don't know what SO of OP is doing for artist, if he's a painter or a sculpturer or whatever, writer, may be... And of course, when you're phone is not on stand by, you're online on all the apps that you didn't close.

                    On the other hand, if he is really active on the other social media and 'forgets' to contact OP, that is something totally different and in that case just forget what I said above.

                    But yeah, communication is key. I would suggest OP to talk about this with SO.
                    I will find time to talk to him about this, maybe nextweek, i don't want to raise a topic like this when he was busy, you know. Thanks!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by jen.me View Post
                      I want to talk to him about it but i'm a little afraid of whatever his reply would be. I know i have to do it for me to get a clear answer. I remember he once told me when i ask what is the reason he and his ex broke up, and it was because he has no time that he was always busy. Sigh -.-
                      Don't be afraid to tell him your needs, just don't nag him. Its a bad sign that his ex left for that reason, him making excuses us kinda selfish, if he is that "busy" he shouldn't be in a relationship in the 1st place.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by jen.me View Post
                        I want to talk to him about it but i'm a little afraid of whatever his reply would be. I know i have to do it for me to get a clear answer. I remember he once told me when i ask what is the reason he and his ex broke up, and it was because he has no time that he was always busy. Sigh -.-
                        He has no time for a girl, but he is getting into a relationship every time? That sounds stupid to me...
                        Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by erwin1973 View Post
                          He has no time for a girl, but he is getting into a relationship every time? That sounds stupid to me...
                          Super stupid. He even change his dp on whatsapp and posted a status but he never texted me for 3days now. That's it. I don't want to text him. I want to talk with him with this issue but I think it's useless. I just have to move on and be happy.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by jen.me View Post
                            Super stupid. He even change his dp on whatsapp and posted a status but he never texted me for 3days now. That's it. I don't want to text him. I want to talk with him with this issue but I think it's useless. I just have to move on and be happy.
                            You can give an ultimatum...
                            Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by erwin1973 View Post
                              You can give an ultimatum...
                              I'll think of that one. Is it better for me to wait for his text or I should be the one to initiate?

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