Consistency

[Onlineguy84]

Hi I met this woman online 2 months ago and we've been talking everyday at least to at least say what we've done. She told me she is planing to visit me in 6 weeks or so so we can meet and get to know each other. But the problem is that she is inconsistent, she sometimes say she will call and she doesn't, sometimes she will go cold and then hot again, sometimes she will see my text and take a long time to reply. I'm new to online dating so I don't know if I should expect consistency in her behavior if we haven't even met in person or go out on a date.

Please share your opinions because I don't want to loose my time.
Thanks

Ps:we haven't met because we live in different countries

[hmrambling]

Welcome to LFAD!

Every couple has their own response times. My SO doesn't respond immediately, but she responds in that same day. And we talk in the evening. I encourage you to talk to her and ask her what timeframe she thinks is reasonable, and you share what you want in the relationship, too. Clear communication and sharing what each other wants/needs is really important when working on new relationships. Also keep in mind that people get busy so sometimes it is possible that responding might slip her mind if she is really busy.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Hi I met this woman online 2 months ago and we've been talking everyday at least to at least say what we've done. She told me she is planing to visit me in 6 weeks or so so we can meet and get to know each other. But the problem is that she is inconsistent, she sometimes say she will call and she doesn't, sometimes she will go cold and then hot again, sometimes she will see my text and take a long time to reply. I'm new to online dating so I don't know if I should expect consistency in her behavior if we haven't even met in person or go out on a date.

Please share your opinions because I don't want to loose my time.
Thanks

Ps:we haven't met because we live in different countries

Consistency is very important. I do have a semi pessimistic view on these kinds of things, you can read my many posts of a failed LDR. Inconsistency and broken commitments always put me on edge. Yes people do get busy, my CD bf works during the day and sometimes takes a couple hours to respond. If he says he will call me, he calls me. My LD ex would "forget" to call me and I found out in the end he wasn't interested. Talk to her about missing calls, once ok, more then that I wouldn't put up w/. If I want to talk to my bf and promise to call, I will call him because I want to, unless something comes up, but I will let him know and apologize.

[Rezie]

I do think that it's important to call if promising that to someone. But a "call you later" is not a promise in my opinion compared to "I will call you Friday at 2".

You need to talk about what you expect from communication. I'm one of those people that hates talking on the phone. Sometimes I don't feel like it and then I don't. I don't feel the need to accessible all the time so I may not answer a text. I do know that people are different and some need more or less. That's why it's important to talk about your expectations.

[Honour]

Also, 2 months isn't a long time. You'll get better as time passes as you discuss with her what you both want in terms of communication, how your relationship with be, etc.