Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Should I surprise visit my ex who is currently seeing another girl?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Should I surprise visit my ex who is currently seeing another girl?

    So I moved to Illinois from Georgia in January 2015 and we met February, started talking in April and started dating in July of that same year. My family did not like Illinois and decided to move back in August. That's when everything hit us and we realized we loved each other. We obviously kept in touch and tried to make this ldr work. I would go visit whenever I could. I went in September, October and December of 2015. We broke up but still kept talking as if we were in a relationship. I visited him on his birthday in January 2016 then he wanted to "see" other girls in March. My heart could not take that and I told him I needed to be left alone. We stopped talking for what we thought was forever. Then he texts me in May and I, still having deep feelings for him, welcome him back into my life. Again, we start talking as if we are in a relationship but we are not. I visit him in October 2016. We are happy and just enjoying each other's ld company. We talk every day. I finally visit him in February of this year and everything seems fine. We love each other and don't want to be apart but still are not girlfriend/ boyfriend. We talked every day until one day in April, he was dodging me and did not talk to me for 3 days. I knew something was wrong but never figured it was because he met someone at work. He asked her out on a date. Basically, whatever we had was over. He said it was just one date but he is still seeing her. I tried to let him go but he still calls and texts me. He says he still loves me and always will and that he misses me but the distance sucks. I miss him too.
    My question is should I surprise visit him? Or is that completely foolish of me? I just want to see him and know that I tried and gave it all I had. I don't want to wonder "what if" or " I should have gone".

    #2
    I'm personally against surprise visits unless you know for a fact that the other person really enjoys them. In your case I can't really see it being a pleasant surprise. Imagine if he is with the girl when you show up? I would suggest you call him and say you want to meet up and talk. Explain that the situatuon and how you feel. If he doesnt want to meet up then you have an answer. If he does then you may get your answer. And then you can both move on from your relationship type texting.

    Comment


      #3
      I personally wouldn't suggest it for the same reasons that Rezie outlined.

      Comment


        #4
        Nope. Do not go see him. I encourage you to work on boundaries in order to protect yourself. This sounds like a formula to be hurt in the long run. Check out a book called "Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin".

        Comment


          #5
          Why would you visit your ex in the first place and make hime choose between his ex and his girlfriend in the second place? Sounds like a good way to end up in a big fight. You're exes for a reason. Leave your ex where he is: behind you. Start all over again.
          Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

          Comment


            #6
            That could have emotionally explosive consequences. Don't surprise him.

            First Visit: September 2016
            Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
            Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

            John 3:16
            For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
            John 4:12
            I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

            Comment

            Working...
            X