We are still apart - need advice for our situation

[moi]

Hi. I have posted on this site every now and then.

We are still apart, due to his school. It has been a total of 5 years. We have been married for 4 years.

If you read my previous posts, I think we got over them and we discussed that we need each other in our lives.

My husband goes to a community college in the US since January 2013. He had one semester off to be with me but lately he went for counseling at his school to ask when he is able to graduate. He still needs some classes, and I know that he has earned so much, with As for his classes he took.

I am going to be 38. I would love to have a baby with him, and i know that my time is getting so limited. My question is that, does it take long to graduate from a community college? My understanding is that, there are too many students who is trying to attend and classes are limited and such, but it feels too long to me... As I said, I'm still here after 4 years.

He found out that if things go well, and he will be able to graduate by June 2018. But that means almost another year for me to wait.

We have been talking a lot about transferring to a college here but at the same time, i wonder if I am being selfish for him to ask to come back now and transfer, if he was to graduate next summer.

But again, my time is getting limited if I want to have a baby with him, so I want him back.

Could you please give me some advice?

[Moon]

5 1/2 years to graduate from community college??

Going full time, community college takes 2 years, or less, to earn an associate's degree. Going part time makes it longer, but unless he's had some breaks in there, that's an awfully long time. I assume he works a full time job also, even still...

Can't he take online classes to speed things up? He can even move to the next county and go to their community college to finish, if his is so full. Maybe I'm wrong, and someone here knows better than me, but something just seems wrong about this, I'm sorry to say.

[autumn1790]

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem wrong to me. I've been at a community college for two years, and have at least another two years to go. They have awful waiting lists and full classes. Cheaper in terms of money but not time. Erg.

[Moon]

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem wrong to me. I've been at a community college for two years, and have at least another two years to go. They have awful waiting lists and full classes. Cheaper in terms of money but not time. Erg.

That's great, I'm glad to hear it, I guess it can really depend on your area then. It's good to be wrong sometimes!

[moi]

Thank you, Moon and autumn1790.

He started his current community college from January 2013. Since then it's just been like this.

As autumn1790 said, it seems like his school is the same like yours. He and other students are having hard time getting classes they need to take.
To me, it's hard to understand. In my country, you have 4 years to graduate from 2 year institutions, and i think 6 years to graduate from 4 year institutions. (I don't remember exactly as it has been long time since I went) So to me it's just ridiculous.

Again, if I were a few years younger then I wouldn't mind. I would tell him to graduate there. But I am 37, and have been waiting for him and have a baby with him. He says that he wants one too but he is like 4 years younger than me so I don't know if he sees the way I do. He says that his goal is to achieve bachelor's degree and I've been telling him to come back and do so here as we have some schools for him to finish. But I really don't know what to do.

[autumn1790]

Are you unable to go to him? Work, fiance, or spousal visa? I understand having a baby in another country is more paperwork and rather scary, but people do it...my sister had her children in Asia.. is there something blocking you?

[moi]

Thank you, autumn1790. I can, but it takes at least 6 months for me to get a spousal visa in the US. But if he is to come, it's only a few days or 2 weeks at the most. And I don't know if I can get a job there in the US, as soon as I arrive. I have a stable job, but he doesn't yet as he goes to school, and yes, I have lived in America, actually health care system isn't as great as here, so I don't really know what to do. Wow. Your sister had a baby in Asia. I don't know which part but I guess I should take it as a consideration and something I should talk to him about

[autumn1790]

The third option is to have a visit over winter break coming up and hope for success, with him going to you after graduation...but I doubt anyone wants to have a planned pregnancy alone... He's so close to graduation, he should stick it out imo.
She had her kids in southeast Asia...I don't really want to say which country because it's not a country with a lot of outsiders.

[moi]

Thank you, autumn1790 and sorry to ask you about your sister's personal information.
Your third option can be a possibility but he only gets maybe 3 weeks at the most for his break. And I have some GYN issues that has to be checked regularly, so if this was our option then we have to pray.
My husband wants to go for bachelors and thought it'd be better to just get in there here in Japan, as we found a school that transfers most of his credits he has earned, and finish it here.
I still don't quite understand American education, but if you graduate from a community college, will you be able to just get into the third year for 4 year schools? I know that grade matters and even your grade is good, you have to be accepted, but I just want to understand how it is. Thank you.

[autumn1790]

It all depends on how many credits get transferred...I wouldn't be able to say where exactly he would be in terms of semesters. Some colleges have specific transfer student programs for people coming from associates degrees.
You didn't ask about my sister's personal information...I volunteered it. No need to be sorry..

[moi]

Exactly, and I think the school we found isn't too bad as far as transferring. Providing the school we found unofficial transcript, then they will tell you which ones will, so I am asking him to do so. I think this is the fastest way to get him a degree unless he did bad.
I just don't understand at all with the system of community colleges in America. Why does it take so long? Wishing your sister a good luck as I am Asian xxxx