Hi everyone. I really, REALLY need some advice on this. My SO [m19] and I [f18] have tried different solutions, but we're not sure what we should really do. Any advice or thoughts would be deeply appreciated.
This has been an ongoing issue in our relationship for about as long as we have been dating. My SO and I have been together for over five months now. We both deeply love and care for each other. We're going to have our first person-to-person meeting on the 30th this month, so a few weeks from now. One of the biggest obstacles we've faced in this relationship has to do with my camera shyness, or resistance to doing video calls with him. The first couple times we did do a Skype call, it was very awkward for me and I grew a sort of unwillingness to do video calls. He said it was fine, so for the next several months we just did voice calls.
This leads to another huge obstacle: my physical attraction to him--or rather, lack of physical attraction. I mean, he does look fine in my opinion, but only fine. I'm not attracted to him on a physical level. This really is upsetting for me, because I AM attracted to him emotionally and to his personality. This lack of balance is really difficult. For a couple months, I kept this to myself because I wanted to resolve it on my own. I looked up countless posts and articles on how to grow physical attraction to someone. I did focus on finding physical features I did like (I have a couple), but I still struggled being physically attracted. One day I confessed to him about all of it. Initially it didn't go over so well, but then he decided he wanted to work it out with me. He's been very supportive of me during all this, and I'm so so grateful for it. A few days ago, we've started doing video calls every day where only he is on camera, since we want to tackle this issue before moving onto the other one (since I think they go hand-in-hand).
I guess, the hardest part for me is that I cannot connect his voice to his body. I almost see them as two different things, when obviously they aren't. We kind of regret not working on the video call issue earlier on, because we feel at this point I wouldn't have this disconnect with him physically. But since we can't go back in time, we have to work on it now. I feel maybe that this issue could all be resolved when we do meet in person, so then a physical connection can be formed, but I don't know.
I know I might sound kind of wishy-washy or selfish because of these issues. We just want to get through this and resolve it, because our relationship is otherwise wonderful. If any of you have any sort of advice, we could really use it. Thank you.
This has been an ongoing issue in our relationship for about as long as we have been dating. My SO and I have been together for over five months now. We both deeply love and care for each other. We're going to have our first person-to-person meeting on the 30th this month, so a few weeks from now. One of the biggest obstacles we've faced in this relationship has to do with my camera shyness, or resistance to doing video calls with him. The first couple times we did do a Skype call, it was very awkward for me and I grew a sort of unwillingness to do video calls. He said it was fine, so for the next several months we just did voice calls.
This leads to another huge obstacle: my physical attraction to him--or rather, lack of physical attraction. I mean, he does look fine in my opinion, but only fine. I'm not attracted to him on a physical level. This really is upsetting for me, because I AM attracted to him emotionally and to his personality. This lack of balance is really difficult. For a couple months, I kept this to myself because I wanted to resolve it on my own. I looked up countless posts and articles on how to grow physical attraction to someone. I did focus on finding physical features I did like (I have a couple), but I still struggled being physically attracted. One day I confessed to him about all of it. Initially it didn't go over so well, but then he decided he wanted to work it out with me. He's been very supportive of me during all this, and I'm so so grateful for it. A few days ago, we've started doing video calls every day where only he is on camera, since we want to tackle this issue before moving onto the other one (since I think they go hand-in-hand).
I guess, the hardest part for me is that I cannot connect his voice to his body. I almost see them as two different things, when obviously they aren't. We kind of regret not working on the video call issue earlier on, because we feel at this point I wouldn't have this disconnect with him physically. But since we can't go back in time, we have to work on it now. I feel maybe that this issue could all be resolved when we do meet in person, so then a physical connection can be formed, but I don't know.
I know I might sound kind of wishy-washy or selfish because of these issues. We just want to get through this and resolve it, because our relationship is otherwise wonderful. If any of you have any sort of advice, we could really use it. Thank you.
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