Finally!

[Reyhoney]

So I’m new here but I’ve already created so many threads 😜

So finally after 6 months we may be meeting for the first time late October! I’m so happy and excited but terrified too. Now I feel like this fantasy may actually be reality!

I’ve been thinking about telling him I love him but if we are meeting in a month I’m going to wait and say it in person, shouldn’t that be better?

I don’t think I’ve felt this happy about a date in close to 10 years. I spent 10 years with the wrong guy who did nothing but hurt and abuse me.

Any advice? I don’t know how to prepare. I’m already wondering if he’ll like how I look like in person?

Sorry this is all over the place. My adrenaline is taking over.

[Redheart14]

So happy for you yay!! Personally I waited until I met my SO in person before I said it but it's entirely up to you. I was worried we wouldn't connect in person so I held off. Has he booked tickets yet??

[Reyhoney]

You did the sensible thing I think! I waited this long so what’s a few more weeks?

He hasn’t, his boss is out of town so he’s waiting to get the OK from him first!

What’s the appropriate way to even greet him? Hand shake? Hug? Kiss? I’ve no idea.

[Redheart14]

My SO asked if he could hug me when we met. He wanted to know I was comfortable with that. I thought it was sweet and that's what we did.

[MushuChicken]

My suggestion would be this: guard your heart and play it cool.

This guy has been, admittedly distant and busy at times. There is a decent chance it may happen again before you meet.

Guys are a little bit funny, even at the best of times. Add in the pressure/anxiety/excitement of a first meeting, and there is bound to be tricky emotions to deal with. Cold feet are a very real thing. Don't exacerbate things by picking fights or acting clingy or insecure or even being overly excited. Any one of those could set a guy off, especially if his nerves are already at a high level. Stay as steady as you possibly can. Be interested and genuinely happy for your meeting, but don't make it the center of your conversations. And, while I am not suggesting you let him off the hook if he does something wrong...maybe let some things slide a little. Conversations can be had when you are in person. For myself for example, the "regularly scheduled conversations" thing is going to come up. You don't just get to talk to me whenever you feel like it.

Don't make the same mistakes I have made, which is why I have all this insight. I definitely know what NOT to do. I would definitely hold out on that big conversation, for sure. Not for any major reason, other than he has said he is an in person communication person so...it might be nice to actually be there to gauge his response.

Good luck!

[Reyhoney]

Wow! That is really so helpful! Thank you for taking the time, that’s really nice of you I think. And you’re so point on. He has acted distant and I know he still will, I’ve been trying my best to not let my anxiety show cause I’ve done that before with him, and though he’s handled it well, I need to have a better control over myself which I think I’m starting to get, I just direct it elsewhere!

When he brought up meeting today I almost lost my breath and I held it in so he can’t tell and I tried to come off aloof.

By big conversation you mean me telling him I love you? That’s true, I think being able to actually see him face to face would make this much more enjoyable and I would read him better! I feel the most affection to him and from him on video chat!

[erwin1973]

I am very happy for you and hope all goes well.
I think Mushu gave you great advise about what not to do.

[Reyhoney]

Thank you erwin! And you’ve been a great source of help and advice to me!

[ThePhoenixRises]

Wow that's great that you will finally have the chance to meet! It was the same for me - when he brought up meeting and asked if he could come on a certain date, I lost my breath for a moment because I was so excited that he was going to come. Then I had to wait 4 months for that day to arrive....felt like 10 years

I know exactly what is going through your mind right now - I had the same thoughts. Such as....will he like me? Will he be attracted to me? Should I kiss him? Should I hug him? Will he hug me? etc, etc, etc....a million thoughts racing around my mind - especially when I was standing at the arrivals gate waiting for him! Ugh. I actually had brought my headphones and whilst I was waiting at the gate I was listening to some of my favourite music - it helped calm my nerves (a little bit, anyway). I had to remind myself to just breathe...

You simply won't know the answer to 'will he like what I look like in person' until he is standing in front of you. In my experience - I think we all look better in person than on a cam. Cam can sometimes distort things, and often you don't get the full view of the person, mostly just their face etc. I think in most cases, people look better in real life - and I would not worry about this too much.

As far as whether to hug him, kiss, hand shake etc - plan nothing It will just happen naturally and I think you will know in your gut what to do once he is standing there. I know - I had the same thoughts myself but once he came towards me we just hugged like there was no tomorrow and then he kissed me. My nerves melted away and I felt like he was some old soul that I had known for my entire life. It was surreal because at the age of 39 (at that time) I had never felt such a chemistry with anyone before.

And yes to what others have said - I would wait on the 'I love you' part until you are physically with him - as you don't have so much longer to wait if he is coming in October.

Good luck - it is such an exciting time...the adrenalin goes crazy! I couldn't eat a thing the day he was arriving. It was honestly so exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time. Worth it, though.

[Reyhoney]

Wow that's great that you will finally have the chance to meet! It was the same for me - when he brought up meeting and asked if he could come on a certain date, I lost my breath for a moment because I was so excited that he was going to come. Then I had to wait 4 months for that day to arrive....felt like 10 years

I know exactly what is going through your mind right now - I had the same thoughts. Such as....will he like me? Will he be attracted to me? Should I kiss him? Should I hug him? Will he hug me? etc, etc, etc....a million thoughts racing around my mind - especially when I was standing at the arrivals gate waiting for him! Ugh. I actually had brought my headphones and whilst I was waiting at the gate I was listening to some of my favourite music - it helped calm my nerves (a little bit, anyway). I had to remind myself to just breathe...

You simply won't know the answer to 'will he like what I look like in person' until he is standing in front of you. In my experience - I think we all look better in person than on a cam. Cam can sometimes distort things, and often you don't get the full view of the person, mostly just their face etc. I think in most cases, people look better in real life - and I would not worry about this too much.

As far as whether to hug him, kiss, hand shake etc - plan nothing It will just happen naturally and I think you will know in your gut what to do once he is standing there. I know - I had the same thoughts myself but once he came towards me we just hugged like there was no tomorrow and then he kissed me. My nerves melted away and I felt like he was some old soul that I had known for my entire life. It was surreal because at the age of 39 (at that time) I had never felt such a chemistry with anyone before.

And yes to what others have said - I would wait on the 'I love you' part until you are physically with him - as you don't have so much longer to wait if he is coming in October.

Good luck - it is such an exciting time...the adrenalin goes crazy! I couldn't eat a thing the day he was arriving. It was honestly so exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time. Worth it, though.

AHHH! I really really enjoyed reading this! Thank you so much for telling me about it and sharing this sweet precious part of your life! I hope my experience goes as great as yours! ❤️

[Redheart14]

Please keep us posted on how things go

[Reyhoney]

I’ve looked at flights, Airbnb’s and places to eat and such (we are gonna meet one another at a neural city, still in my country though). I sort of need to book soon cause prices will go up but I’m waiting on him to say it’s for sure and that I can go ahead. I haven’t brought it up cause like MushuChicken warned me, I don’t want to sound overly eager!

My feelings are all over the place! I even got a bit of cold feet today. 😐

[erwin1973]

My feelings are all over the place! I even got a bit of cold feet today. ��

That is normal.
I hope it works out fine.

[ThePhoenixRises]

As most people on these forums will tell you - the weeks/days leading up to a visit can be very strange sometimes. It is normal for the feelings to be all over the place and I think cold feet happen more than we realise. I just tried to push through it day by day and suddenly he was standing in front of me at the airport - and all of the doubts and frustrations just faded away. If you click in real life - all of these confusing feelings and thoughts were worth going through. I say go for it and see what happens - because it could be great. And when it's great - it really is worth it.

[Reyhoney]

As most people on these forums will tell you - the weeks/days leading up to a visit can be very strange sometimes. It is normal for the feelings to be all over the place and I think cold feet happen more than we realise. I just tried to push through it day by day and suddenly he was standing in front of me at the airport - and all of the doubts and frustrations just faded away. If you click in real life - all of these confusing feelings and thoughts were worth going through. I say go for it and see what happens - because it could be great. And when it's great - it really is worth it.

You’re so right! I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t go through with it, not just for my sake but also his, I feel like he’s been trying since day 1, and I haven’t made it easy cause there was and still challenges, when we met my dad was dying and I was a mess and I would literally ignore all his calls but he understood... he’s worth taking the risk, even if it’s so scary.