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[Thad]

This thread seems like it could use a guys point of view, so here's my best shot.

As a couple of you have already said sometimes guys are oblivious. I'm going to quote something my SO sent me one time:

You are cutely oblivious. ... Most of all, you are a guy and, from what I hear, obliviousness runs in those genes. I don’t mind having to tell you what I want, most of the time (Except when I want a shiny, sweet gift) because it forces me to be really sure what I want

The only way you're going to know 100% that he knows 100% how you feel is to tell him. Its very likely he doesn't realize the cost/inconvenience/trouble it takes you to send things. He may be so happy to get something that he forgets to return the favor. Your should tell him how you feel so that he knows.

One other caveat, though. YOu mention that your SO is in Teach for America. My SO was half-way through her first year of Teach for America when we met two and half years ago. That program is tough and very time consuming. I'm not making excuses for him here, but just something else to consider.

Seems like you just need to share your feelings and hear what he has to say. I doubt it will be a big deal once you both talk about it, and I'm sure you'll figure out a mutually agreeable solution.

[Bluestars]

What I'm trying to say is that people show love and need to be shown love in different ways - and that is something worth discussing with your SO. For example, I like making things for Obi, or setting up surprises/games for him. I try to be creative and keep it interesting. It's how I show love. Obi isn't good at that stuff, and while he likes the things I do for him, he likes to show love in other ways - like leaving me notes or giving back rubs. To receive love, I like it when he does practical things for me, like the dishes, or when he gives me his time coz there's nothing more important than that. He likes to receive love in other ways, often in the form of food.
Giving gifts is just one way to express love, and perhaps in your SO's case, it's not the most important way.

Zephii makes a really good point. You are not the only one who has had this problem. I believe there have been multiple threads on here (or at least on the old forum) that are about the exact same thing. Maybe you could search for one and see what comes up? But back to what Zephii said. People have different ways of expressing their love. I am like you. I like giving presents because that is a way for me to show that I care. My SO is not like that. He shows his love through his words and actions. However, we actually discussed this around a year ago because I told him that I would really appreciate it if he occasionally sent me things as well. It was not a big deal, and he ended up sending me a package that I loved.

I am still more into giving gifts though, and admit that sometimes I get sad when he doesn't seem to appreciate them as much. One thing that really helped me is to think about all the things he does do to show me that he loves me. They may not be big, but sometimes we forget about the little things.

[sarahmarie]

I am still more into giving gifts though, and admit that sometimes I get sad when he doesn't seem to appreciate them as much. One thing that really helped me is to think about all the things he does do to show me that he loves me. They may not be big, but sometimes we forget about the little things.

Thanks for everyone who has given their advice, I really appreciate it. But this is my issue, apart from telling me he loves me on the phone, he never really does anything to show me he loves me. I may be forgetting some very small things, but its like I know (or at least I think) he cares. But he never shows it. And my original message was not me being materialistic in needing or wanting things. I am just looking for a little reassurace (of any kind) becuase I am not currently getting any, apart from a occasional "I love you". I know this is something that I need to bring up with him, and thats what I was really looking for, was some advise on how to bring up the subject in a nonconfrontatioal manner. My SO tends to like to start arguments or get really upset/angry any time I try and talk about the fundamentals of our realationship.