Is it okay to see a movie with someone who isn't my SO?

[AimsFuchi]

Hi there, I was just looking for some advice and I apologize if I ramble. I made friends with a guy in one of my classes and he asked if I would like to go see the new Thor movie together. He also has an SO, so I don't think there are any other motives behind it. I've also talked to my SO and he says that he's okay with it, because sometimes in the future he may have lunch or something with a female friend from college. But he lives in Japan, so he does seem to think that movies are more intimate than a lunch. So it's kind of like he said that he's okay with it, as long as I'm okay with him going to lunch in the future with a friend from college, which i am, but I feel there are reasons why I should and shouldn't go to the movies with my classmate.
Should Go
1. I don't make friends easily and having those types of relationships are good for you
2. I pretty much only work and go to school right now, so it might be nice to have a fun time
3. The friend is a guy that's not my type, so there's not even the remote possibility for attraction

Shouldn't Go
1. Even if we're just friends, it's two people going to see a movie alone. My SO and I are practically engaged and I don't even want to give the wrong image to bystanders
2. It does seem to make my SO uncomfortable and I really want to take his feelings into consideration. He's not the jealous type, it's about how it looks.
3. Would I be okay with it if it were the other way around? If my SO went to the movies with a female friend, I'd probably be on the lower end of liking it. I'm not in a relationship where we give each other permission to do things, but the way the other person feels is really important to us.

What should I do? Thanks in advance!

[kittyxuchiha11]

I think you're overthinking this a bit too much. Going to the cinema with a friend is completely normal and something people do all the time. If your friend was female, would this be a big deal to you? I don't think you'd be quite as worried, or put this much importance on it if he was female. Your SO has already said he's fine with it so i think you should just take his word on it and go have fun with your new friend.

[Elisabetta]

I think that when you are in a long distance relationship, friends are very important, because if you have a fairly good social life, long distance becomes easier. So if this guy is can be a good friend to you, you should go to the movies and have your time.
Moreover, friends are friends no matter the gender. I personally don't mind if my SO wants to go out with girls, because I know that he is committed to me, so other women can be no more than friends.
I get from your post that you are also very committed to your boyfriend, so you shouldn't feel guilty or uncomfortable if you want to spend time with a friend and go for a movie.

[Sakuu4]

Hi, my SO is Japanese too so I thought of giving my opinion as well.
Although in the beginning of our relationship he was not ok with me hanging out with male friends I did that anyway (always with him knowing) because those friendships are extremely important to me and I couldn't deal with a boyfriend not ok to this. Now (3 years and a half later lol) he is completely fine with this because he realised there's no harm in doing that.
But I do understand the "cultural thing" you refer to.
Honestly, I would also think twice if it was someone who I met after starting my relationship with my boyfriend cause it may make him uneasy.
It actually depends on your priorities. If you think(and want to) you may develop a good and lasting friendship with this friend then go, otherwise, if it is just for the movie itself don't. (if it makes sense? lol)

May I ask where is your friend's SO? Same city or long distance as well?

[C.C.]

I think a movie/lunch/etc is datelike only if you make it so. If you keep your boundaries it's completely normal to go out with a friend.

Also, unless you live in a small small town where everyone knows everyone and where everyone gossips about each other, the bystanders and other people literally won't matter and they won't care about you going to a movie with someone.

[Honour]

Agreed with Kitty, you're way overthinking this.

You have to have a life and friends beyond your SO. They shouldn't be your only focal point.

[hmrambling]

The only real issue I see here is the Quid pro quo implicated that he will go have lunch with a girl because you are seeing a movie with a guy. For some reason that doesn't seem to jive. Otherwise, I would say to go and have fun. However his going to have lunch with one of his friends is independent of you seeing a movie with one of yours. I would be asking how the two things are related. If he already had plans to go to lunch with one of his friends, why does that have any correlation with you going to the movie?

I suppose the answer relies on if there is an established trust. I wouldn't worry about what anyone else in the community thought about it. Heck, I've shared a hotel room with a coworker who is the opposite sex and I didn't care what anyone thought about it.

Do you trust yourself? Yes? Then go.

[Rezie]

friend is a friend. The gender is irrelevant. As long as you don't think it's more than a movie with a friend and he doesn't think it's more than a movie then I see no reason. Don't think about it too much. Seeing a movie is ot intimate by any means. Only question you should be asking is "Do I want to make a new friend?" and "Is there anything worth seeing in cinema?". Go out, mae friend (male and female), don't think too much and you don't need a permission from your SO.