I dont like this at all!!!

[Caitlin2009]

The day has barely begun and already i hate it!!! Denise told me that they told the landlord that the rent might come a bit later this month, and he told them "whats the point in living in a place that you cant afford" they have been paying there rent on time since they have been living there and he should take that in account, but she's freaking out which is understandable. But she got an email from the lawyer guy that i was talking to the other day and he said this "the risk I am referring to is the risk that you will not be able to come back to the US as a visitor. If you are willing to live with losing that option, we can talk about involving you and Caitlin in a fiance visa petition related project, or if you are married in a challenge to DOMA in the court of public opinion. I do not want you and Caitlin to rush into any activism that will possibly end up keeping you apart"

That is something im really terrified to do! If we do this and it doesnt work then she wont be able to visit the US anymore, and im not sure about me if we go along with this. This is something we have to talk about in full detail in person, i cant make a decision like that without seeing her! And to top it off since these past few months have been stressful for the both of us including today, we have hit another rough patch and i dont like it!!!! I feel like im losing her and it scares the hell out of me, she's my soulmate, i love her so much and i dont wanna lose her!!! im scared really really really scared, i dont know what to do! I knew this wasent gonna be easy going into this but this is almost too much!!! Do we do this and risk her not visiting ever again, or do we go with the original plan that we have? I dont know what to do!!!!



ETA: good news for you guys! Her roomates check came in today and now they can pay the rent on time so its all good with that but now there gonna apply for housing and financial assistance which is gonna help big time!! And this morning was a very true test on what we can go through and still remain together, but we were close to having the breakup conversation this morning, and i know every couple goes through that at least once but i NEVER wanna experiance that again! that was beyond horrible, but we proved if we can get through that then we can through anything that is thrown at us!!

[Čternity]

Big decisions. Personally I wouldn't risk it, but if it is something you believe in then it may be worth it. How much extra time will it add if you go with the original plan as opposed to this? Seems you have a lot of stress in your lives without adding to it.

[Silviar]

Take a deep breath, and then another. Step away from the computer a bit and work out your upset - cuz you've earned it. A legal action won't cause you to lose your soulmate, only you two can determine that. Legal denial isn't losing your soulmate, it's just a very bitter pill to swallow. But you know, where there's a will there's a way - and I think you guys need to start looking at getting creative what till get you what you want - being together.

Be flexible, and consider other options that won't burn bridges. You could move there, for example. Or you could both move to another country together. Australia is open to same-sex couples, and has many wonderful job opportunities. What about moving to somewhere else in the UK, or even a non-English speaking country? If you have a college degree, you could teach English, especially in an Asian country.

Is there a particular reason you're so stuck on this path? Like, a really good reason that means you can't consider other options? I'm trying to see other ways you can be together, but it doesn't do any good if you won't consider them.

[squiddie]

Australia is open to same-sex couples, and has many wonderful job opportunities.

Yeah but same-sex marriage is illegal there as well, and with a lot of recent movements made by the government, it's becoming less friendly for same-sex couples. (An author on a news blog I read is a native of Melbourne and she's been talking a lot about it lately)

You'd think that, since SCOTUS ruled Section 3 of DOMA unconstitional, and Section 2 flies in the face of the Full Faith and Credit Clause in the US Constitution, this wouldn't be a problem. I wish I had suggestions for how you two can go about alternatively filing your SO's visa request, but honestly, I'm at a loss. I am so fed up with the US right now.

[Caitlin2009]

i have to call her up a little bit later but i already made the decision that i wont do that! Not at the risk of her losing her ability to visit me, theres no way in hell im gonna do that! in my heart i feel if we do it that way then circumstances will change and not for the good. I have thought about moving there myself because they actually have visa where you can apply if you arent already married, but our hearts are guiding us to North Carolina thats where we feel our home is, our original plan even though it might take awhile....she's really good at doing stand up i mean Robin Williams, Billy Connoly, ect good! She looks a random street sign and can get alot of material with that, i mean she has what it takes and i feel thats whats gonna lead her into getting her into the business and living in America forever.

[Silviar]

You can still get to home with a few pitstops on the way, my dear. I think your plan is wonderful, so I hope you can find a good 'for now' plan that'll wind you over to north carolina. *hugs*

Yeah but same-sex marriage is illegal there as well

The only reason I bring it up as an option is as an example - you can have a same-sex partnership and have a de facto visa, last I checked, even if you're not married. Unless they recently updated to no same-sex. I'm just trying to point out ways they can be together and still reach their goals, squiddle.

[Caitlin2009]

i talked to her on the phone shes really depressed and that breaks my heart but i did tell her that what the lawyer guy said is not a good idea and i wont risk everything based on fear without thinking it all the way through. Alright her doing the stand up might take awhile for her to get here forever but i know in my heart it will work. The other way while slightly temping is not a good idea, i have a bad feeling if we do it then it wont be a good thing!

[Karringtyn]

Stress UGH! I am glad you got to talk to her. Focus on the here and now. When I received news on Dan's house the other day I was devastated and thought...goodness he will never sell now, we won't be able to be together...and so forth. The snowball effect...and I had to STOP! I have my soulmate...we will change the circumstances and outlook. The search is over...you have her now....and forever...so now take the next step...one day at a time hon.

[Silviar]

i talked to her on the phone shes really depressed and that breaks my heart but i did tell her that what the lawyer guy said is not a good idea and i wont risk everything based on fear without thinking it all the way through. Alright her doing the stand up might take awhile for her to get here forever but i know in my heart it will work. The other way while slightly temping is not a good idea, i have a bad feeling if we do it then it wont be a good thing!

Hey, you do what you gotta do, Caitlin. Yanno? You're gonna be over there for a year, and a lot can happen in that time. Personally, if we had to bounce back and forth between the US/Australia for visas in order to live together, we'd do it. You do what you gotta do to make it work. International LDR is unique int hat we have a lot of red tape we have to deal with - and I'm mad for you that you have this extra layer to deal with :/

[Caitlin2009]

Stress UGH! I am glad you got to talk to her. Focus on the here and now. When I received news on Dan's house the other day I was devastated and thought...goodness he will never sell now, we won't be able to be together...and so forth. The snowball effect...and I had to STOP! I have my soulmate...we will change the circumstances and outlook. The search is over...you have her now....and forever...so now take the next step...one day at a time hon.

im trying to, i love her so much and true love is worth fighting for especially with this

Hey, you do what you gotta do, Caitlin. Yanno? You're gonna be over there for a year, and a lot can happen in that time. Personally, if we had to bounce back and forth between the US/Australia for visas in order to live together, we'd do it. You do what you gotta do to make it work. International LDR is unique int hat we have a lot of red tape we have to deal with - and I'm mad for you that you have this extra layer to deal with :/

we defiantly will do that because for now its the only way for the distance to semi end and its better then nothing at all, but the other way we face not being able to visit anymore and i couldnt handle that if that didnt work

[Caitlin2009]

good news for you guys! Her roomates check came in today and now they can pay the rent on time so its all good with that but now there gonna apply for housing and financial assistance which is gonna help big time!! And this morning was a very true test on what we can go through and still remain together, but we were close to having the breakup conversation this morning, and i know every couple goes through that at least once but i NEVER wanna experiance that again! that was beyond horrible, but we proved if we can get through that then we can through anything that is thrown at us!!

[Silviar]

I'm really glad you guys worked through things. Punch another hole in your Belt of Experience (+3 to Wisdom now!).

/nerd.

[Caitlin2009]

lol alrighty, now all we need is sleep! because that will help mmmhmm

[Karringtyn]

Glad everything is happy again hon!!!!!

[Mio]

Bad days suck!