Keeping your LDR secret

[Andy]

Just wondering how many of you are still keeping your LDR secret? Are you worried about telling everyone?

If you're not, did you? And how did you break it? How did everyone react?

I did for quite a while, then I only told my Mum and waited another couple of months before telling my Dad. I made her swear NOT to tell him and she didn't, she's so great

Some 6 months after I first met Tanja I needed to go into hospital for lung surgery to correct a recurring spontaneous pneumothorax (punctured lung ) and around that point we'd been talking for hours and hours every day, but no-one knew about her - we weren't a "couple" as such at that point though, but understandably she was extremely worried but I couldn't ask anyone to let her know how the surgery went! It was only a routine operation, nothing life-threatening by any means, but it was still pretty hard knowing she was out there worrying about me. I can't imagine what she was going through!

I made sure my parents kept my phone with them and gave it to my as soon as I came round so I could text her

My Mum said she wondered why I was so insistent about that!

I don't actually remember texting her though as I was kinda out of it on morphine

So, what are your stories?

[Tanja]

Awwwwwwwww babe, even when you were high the first thing you thought of was me! *blushes*

I love you ♥

[Snowy.Winter]

Me and my other half started going out at the end of January 206, and I just hid it from people. I wasn't ashamed for him or anything. I just felt that it was my business, and my business only. People in my school started to find out when he was leaving really sweet and cute comments on my photographs on Bebo (about May time). Then I told my Mum at the end of June. It took me ages to tell her, I'd never had a boyfriend so it was really hard. It took about half an hour to tell her.

People in school never thought it would last. I clearly proved them wrong

[Tanja]

Oh and about my story... When Andy and I first met in November 2007 I was still in another relationship that wasn't going very great and after talking to Andy for about a month I realised it wasn't going anywhere and I was developing feelings towards Andy so I decided I need to break up with my bf. But it took me some 6 months before I could actually do it and during that time I fell deeply in love with Andy and we talked hours every day! I had a little daughter and I was just struggling and didn't know what to do and all that time I didn't tell anyone about Andy (well I did tell my best friend who had gone through the same thing as me sort of) and she was the only one I could talk to about what's going on.

Then in the spring I told my friends and family I have this friend in Wales I keep talking to and my bf knew about him as well cause he had seen me talking to him (although I've always had quite a few MSN friends lol) and finally in the summer I told my bf I wanna end it.. He was all for it lol cause he too knew things weren't great and it was just the best thing for both of us since we had been more friends than lovers for the past 6-7 months (and we still are friends).

So on 1st of September 2008 (3 months after I'd broken up with my bf) Andy and I decided we were officially together and weren't gonna see other people. We decided to meet in December and Andy was forced to tell his mum about me lol. I still didn't tell anyone how I really felt for him cause I thought it was too soon and people wouldn't understand. So a few days before I left for Helsinki I told my sister that I'm going to meet Andy but she can NOT tell my mum or dad.... And when I was on the bus goingthere my mum called me and asked me if I'm going on a date so I knew my sister had told her... AND when they talked about in on the phone they used the speaker and my dad just walked in and heard them say I'm going to Helsinki to meet someone I've met online and he freaked, out, lol! But at the same time I felt really relieved to know all the hiding and secrecy was over and I could just talk about him openly.

All that's behind us now and we're happily together and both our families support us so things couldn't be better!

When you just listen to your heart everything will fall to place eventually

[Earytha]

I told my friends shortly after we got together but I've always had trouble talking to my parents (We have issues) so I didn't tell them at first, even after I met him for the first time, I didn't tell them, nor did I tell them exactly where we had met as if they knew we had met online.. they would have flipped!
I eventually told my dad when Jesper wanted to come visit me but i still found it hard to tell my mum (she being the issue) and well even after she found out.. she seemed to not want to acknowledge who he was. Everyone knows now eventually :P

[Taija]

I never really kept it a secret from my family. They quickly knew that I was talking to some Jesse guy on the internet, since I'm so open with my parents, but even when I told them that we are together I don't think they really believed it was anything serious for the first few months.

As for other people, I tried not to talk about it for the first 9 months because we hadn't met in real like yet - I strongly believe it's possible to fall in love with someone on the internet, but unfortunately most people don't and I would've probably just been laughed at. The best way to convince them that it can work is to just wait silently and show them that we are still together, anyway.

[Mio]

We never kept it secret. But not many people knew because I thought and still think it's my own business. But our families knew from the start.

[San]

It was a secret at first, but it didn't last long before I told my parents and after that she told hers. Both were very supportive so we were both really relieved. All in all, it's been swell with both our parents. I think my parents in law are just awesome! Really friendly people.

Have a nice day,

San.

[SnowDust]

I can't imagine having to keep it a secret. I'm very lucky in that we started dating in the same city, even bought a house and lived together before he was transferred for work. Kudos to all of you who had to keep it a secret! I would fail at that so much.

[gflatsxo]

I never kept it a secret. My mom and dad knew right away and a few of my friends saw our romance bloom on the website where we met. If anyone from my school asks about him I always respond with the truth about him. Yes I have had times where some of my friends and even some family members have reacted badly about it, but the people who I really care about all were happy for me and that's all that matters.

[Tanja]

Yeah I got some weird reactions when people learned the truth... I live in a small village so all the news travel fast in here and everyone was just wondering how could this ever work and why would I wanna date someone who's so far away cause they could be cheating and doing God knows what without me knowing about it. I just laughed at them and once Andy came to visit me for the first time and we showed up together out in the open everyone's point of view changed quite a lot. No-one asks those questions anymore, all they now ask is "How's your boyfriend doing and when's he coming back?"

[Lumos]

I kept our relationship for a secret for the first five months. Partially because of the way we met (online game), and we hadn't met in person yet, but also because I've never had a boyfriend before this, and I'd just find it awkward announcing it to people :P I don't really have any friends or family members I'd be comfortable talking about dating to. The only person I really confide in about relationship stuff is another one of my game friends.

About a week ago, I decided the perfect way to tell my family was to change my relationship status on facebook. It felt like such a huge change, so I'm kind of disappointed that nobody has even commented yet. Oh well, I guess I'll see how it goes :P

[folclor]

Everyone on my boyfriend's end knows about me and everyone on my end has at least heard about him, but my family doesn't know I am in a relationship. ^^; we're waiting until I go up there and meet him to go public.

[Andy]

I guess this is obviously mostly relevant to people who've met online. Even now I still think there's a certain stigma attached to it, although it's clearly got more "normal" in recent years.

[folclor]

yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but my parents freaked out that I was even Facebook friends with my boyfriend. He was friends with one of my best friends before, though, and my parents were like, "just because he's her friend doesn't mean he's okay! He could be a psychopath and you wouldn't even know! How do you know he's not lying on his Facebook?" ...Yes, I'm sure he belongs to a huge society of mass-murdering, kidnapping rapists and they all have fake Facebook accounts that are linked together.