Hi,
My boyfriend and I have known each other for 3 years now and talked every single day since then. Been in a relationship for over 2 years now.
He is my best friend, my rock, he makes me laugh, he supports me and is there for me if I need him. I feel so loved. We are so similar and i cant ever imagine anybody fitting with me like he does.
He isn't the most "manly" or the most strong man in the world which I wont lie yes does bother me from time to time but he has SO many amazing qualities that I have always just thought "well none of us are perfect". We all have our faults. My mother says she thinks he wouldnt be strong enough to handle real life situations if money ever got tight or we struggled in our marriage, that he'd just crumble. That being said she doesnt know him like I do and i dont think know if that would be the case. He's almost 28 and lives at home, is a huge kid at heart, his room filled with memorabilia from childhood and yes he is immature in many ways, especially in real world situations, where hes having to take this risk. Though he is wise in so many others.
The plan was we at the start that we get married in 5 years and move him over here. That plan is rapidly approaching now and is now just under 3 years away. He initially said he'd move over to me when he didn't have a job. But now, he has this "Dream career" which in all honestly yes he enjoys but doesnt pay well, where he lives now he'd be unable to buy a house, he doesnt live in the nicest place but is close with his family. Initially this was an unstable and temporary job, but just after he left last time it became permanent and he said this "threw a spanner in the works"
All this time hes said he cant make up his mind, he cant decide whether to leave everything for me because he's "indecisive and weak". He doesnt know whether to leave his job and family to come be with me. I ended up showing him all around where I live, how much of a home we could afford, he was amazed and loved it all. Then he went back home and just told me yesterday that despite everything it still didnt make a difference in his choice.
So now im here heartbroken thinking i need to break it off. I am 25, I cant give him another 3 years of my life not knowing whether or not he can commit. Before anyone says it no me moving there is out of the equation for many reasons he and I are both aware of. Reasons i specified and he understood at the start of our relationship.
But I love him so much. Yes he has faults, my parents say that he is the lucky one and he doesnt deserve me, but they dont know him like I do because they barely see him.
They said perhaps if i broke it off he'd have a few days without me and realize what a mistake he's made. I tend to believe this too because he gets distraught, cries, and has physically vomited at times we've about to break up over this same discussion, but we never actually have because no matter what, the second I see his face on skype, my heart melts.
I told him a few months ago I'd give him another year to decide. But when I asked him last night if deep down that year would make a difference - he said no.
He's not emotionally ready or man enough or strong enough for this. But I love him SO SO much. He's my world, my first boyfriend and my first love. I honestly dont know how I'd get over this. It's breaking me apart at the thought of it.
Please, someone, anyone with advice. Thank you.
My boyfriend and I have known each other for 3 years now and talked every single day since then. Been in a relationship for over 2 years now.
He is my best friend, my rock, he makes me laugh, he supports me and is there for me if I need him. I feel so loved. We are so similar and i cant ever imagine anybody fitting with me like he does.
He isn't the most "manly" or the most strong man in the world which I wont lie yes does bother me from time to time but he has SO many amazing qualities that I have always just thought "well none of us are perfect". We all have our faults. My mother says she thinks he wouldnt be strong enough to handle real life situations if money ever got tight or we struggled in our marriage, that he'd just crumble. That being said she doesnt know him like I do and i dont think know if that would be the case. He's almost 28 and lives at home, is a huge kid at heart, his room filled with memorabilia from childhood and yes he is immature in many ways, especially in real world situations, where hes having to take this risk. Though he is wise in so many others.
The plan was we at the start that we get married in 5 years and move him over here. That plan is rapidly approaching now and is now just under 3 years away. He initially said he'd move over to me when he didn't have a job. But now, he has this "Dream career" which in all honestly yes he enjoys but doesnt pay well, where he lives now he'd be unable to buy a house, he doesnt live in the nicest place but is close with his family. Initially this was an unstable and temporary job, but just after he left last time it became permanent and he said this "threw a spanner in the works"
All this time hes said he cant make up his mind, he cant decide whether to leave everything for me because he's "indecisive and weak". He doesnt know whether to leave his job and family to come be with me. I ended up showing him all around where I live, how much of a home we could afford, he was amazed and loved it all. Then he went back home and just told me yesterday that despite everything it still didnt make a difference in his choice.
So now im here heartbroken thinking i need to break it off. I am 25, I cant give him another 3 years of my life not knowing whether or not he can commit. Before anyone says it no me moving there is out of the equation for many reasons he and I are both aware of. Reasons i specified and he understood at the start of our relationship.
But I love him so much. Yes he has faults, my parents say that he is the lucky one and he doesnt deserve me, but they dont know him like I do because they barely see him.
They said perhaps if i broke it off he'd have a few days without me and realize what a mistake he's made. I tend to believe this too because he gets distraught, cries, and has physically vomited at times we've about to break up over this same discussion, but we never actually have because no matter what, the second I see his face on skype, my heart melts.
I told him a few months ago I'd give him another year to decide. But when I asked him last night if deep down that year would make a difference - he said no.
He's not emotionally ready or man enough or strong enough for this. But I love him SO SO much. He's my world, my first boyfriend and my first love. I honestly dont know how I'd get over this. It's breaking me apart at the thought of it.
Please, someone, anyone with advice. Thank you.
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