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Asking for advice. In something complicated.

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    Asking for advice. In something complicated.

    Hi,

    My Name is Lorenzo, I met a girl last October through tinder. I live here in The Netherlands and she came to Europe for a month, just to see some parts of europe.
    So while she was in Amsterdam we matched at Tinder. We began to talk the whole night haha. So the next day she told me she were leaving Amsterdam for Brussels but she loved to meet one day.
    We met a couple of times after that. I did go to Brussels, she came to my place for 4 days. And at the last weekend she had here in Europe I booked a hotel in Frankfurt just to spent the last weekend together. ( Long story short)

    Now the problems we had during that month. after she left my place. she wanted to get out of my life, block me. she told awful things to me that really hurted me.. But i kept loving her. I thought maybe it was some frustration.
    After a day or two she came, she told me that she sorry for what happend. And thanked me for staying. and not reacting angry.

    When she got home. things got a bit cheesy. She told me she wanted a family with me. that she really loved me. she made me feel i was in heaven.. we talked alot. she was so loving to me.
    I guess around December things started to change. Less calls, less text. She told me she had to do alot of chores at home. and had to find a job. so she was really busy. i got that. We have our own lifes in different continents. but a part of me thought. if you really love someone you always make a little time for eachother right?
    Around Christmas I had to ER alot, due heart problems.. Don't want to talk about that though. But after i visited for the ER for the 5th time she told me loving things. that she wished to be with me, too take care of me etc.

    but around January 7th, thing started to change. She got really busy, she got her anxiety problems back, health issues. we only talked that week once. "ok" anyways. Today she told me her friend had cancer. that i am annoying. ( yeah while she didnt talked. i wrote a big text on how i felt) Right why shouldnt i share my feelings? if i get hurt by her.. and she told me she is done with me. its over, i don't need you.

    A part of me gave up, but the other part? I think she has alot to deal with. her anxiety, other health issues, her friend, finding a job, maintaining social life.
    Maybe i was blinded by love and didn't see her problems in the bigger picture.. I always tried to make her comfortable to talk about her stuff, but she always left me in the dark. maybe i pushed to much. I really don't know.

    In the past she had really bad anxiety problems.. So her communication about her problems isn't the best.


    I'll end this text for now. I'm looking forward to your reply. If you need anymore specific information, just ask.


    - Lo

    #2
    It sounds to me unfortunately like she is messing you about. She doesn't seem to know what she wants and her blocking you for no reason and getting angry then telling you she wanted a family with you. Especially so early on in the relationship sounds to me like trouble. It doesnt sound like she can handle a long distance relationship, not everyone can. Especially if she cant communicate her problems well, communication is important in a LDR. I'm sorry you are hurting, but it sounds like you need to move on, you deserve better.

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      #3
      She started talking about a family after the incident with a broken condom.. She has been in an LDR before she said with some norwegian guy. he was in the military so they spoke alot less then with me. anyways. She told me her deepest pains about being r*ped, she's been through alot. so i don't know. Maybe it is my fault.. just don't know anymore

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        #4
        We all have problems in our lives, and anxiety is quite common, but it is not an excuse in my eyes to treat someone the way she has treated you. Any relationship, particularly LDR, rely on good communication, and being open and honest. Sharing with each other and trusting one another. It doesn't sound to me like she is being like that with you. I understand she may be stressed, anxious, confused, busy etc, but she should be making an effort to address these issues, for herself as well as the relationship.

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