Hate to ask for advice again...

[lunacide]

..but this time it's urgent...not like it wasn't before.

So this is going to sound like ignorant teenage dramatic babble, but either way.

My SO has just recently started college and only has it twice a week. The rest of the days are spent with him taking care of his grandmother, watching his baby sister (because his mom seems to be constantly busy....hmmm) and engaging in this SERIOUS Lit RP that, while not stressful, is very time consuming. So he's swamped. Oh, and did I mention that he also has to deal with me and my depression? Me constantly begging him to call me, needing him?

The only reason I turn here is because you people KNOW! You understand a LDR and people around here don't, and shun them.

So I tried to think of a way I could help ease his stress. I thought "gaaah! why can't everything that stresses him just GO AWAY!?" then it hit me: a break. Now I'm not saying a "we're-not-a-couple-anymore" break, I meant a communication block. And, to my dismay he, confused, agreed.

The next two days drove me crazy to the point where I couldn't sleep. I just wanted to talk to him so badly. So, Sunday night I cracked and IMed him and told him I changed my mind. He's still stressed, but at least I'm attempting to give him space. But now, after practically losing my mind Sunday, I feel like something is wrong with US. I feel like something is missing and I don't know what, but it's bugging me. We're talking like normal again, but I feel like my screw-up has killed something that was there. Any ideas? Also, ideas for how I can distract myself when he's busy instead of going insane from lack of contact?

Oh, and sorry this is SO long.
Thanks in advance guys!

[Dauntedpoet]

Did he understand you were asking for the break as a plan to try and lower his stress? You need to find other things to fill up your time so you don't obsess about him so much, we've all been there, and we've all had to find other things to do to fill up the time. Make a list of things you liked to do before you had him, and start doing some of them. And advice and support is why this place is so awesome!

[archangel]

take a deep breathe first of all...
I can relate and I understand what depression is like, since I was depressed for 7 years. I overcame it 3 years ago and have been a lot better since then.

I would recommend for you to see a counselor or better, a therapist about your depression. They are professional's and will be able to help you overcome it. It sounds by the way your wrote it, that you are also under stress too, not just your SO. Like Daunted said before, you need to find something to fill your time... like a hobby or something you are interested in. Writing maybe? Like write down everything on your mind in a journal/dairy.

Good luck!
AA

[folclor]

I understand the feelings but you trying to create less stress through that solution only makes more... for the both of you. He probably didn't want to break from conversation in the first place. Either way, stopping communication isn't going to help at all. Only you are going to know what's best for your relationship, though I stand by what I've already said, I'm not saying anymore about your relationship (besides that it's awesome for you to have a wonderful, loving, caring boyfriend).

But archangel's right. You need to get some help. I had...problems and I haven't sought help but when I was in the worst of it my boyfriend had hours and hours to talk to me each day and he became my therapist, of sorts. If you can...you need to get help.

[paulawriteslove]

I don't think the communication break was a good idea in the first place. The reason I don't think that it was a good idea is because maybe talking to you is a stress reviler for him. I think that you need to try to find things to do while he is busy. Try hanging out with friends or family, go work out, go to the mall/library. Just keep your mind off of things. Best of luck!

[lunacide]

I appreciate the replies! Its not my depression that concerns me most, I think rather it is more along the lines of just not knowing what to do when he can't talk. I don't really have many things I find I can keep my focus on for long, but I had a few ideas. Thanks again!