Solo Vacations - Am I tripping ?

[Tiger869]

Hey everyone I'm new here but wanted to get opinions on something. I live in Louisiana for a job contract (2yrs with 1 left) and my gf lives in Los Angeles. We usually spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with her family and try to do a few weekends when I go out to LA.

This year she has been taking several international trips with her co-workers and I find it odd that she is so quick to take these girls trips half way around the world (Costa Rica, UK, Fiji and Spain) but hasn't really put much effort into when. Is our next meet up. 3 months ago we met in New York but she had to go there for a conference and I went out of my way to be there.

For my processing I get that she want to travel but doing multiple trips then saying "I really miss you and can't wait to see you" feels very confusing to me.

So my question is am I tripping over nothing or are my concerns legitimate?

[Ranidae]

Are these "international trips with her co-workers" meant to further her career? (develop her network, or knowledge of a specific market?) In that context, I wouldn't really mind. As long as my partner texts from time to time to ask for news/give news...

Yet I understand your point. Have you discussed that matter with her? Check if she's just momentarily prioritizing her career or if this is a bigger issue.

Keep us posted!

[kate04]

Is she travelling for her job? (If so, I want that job!)
or are they holidays? If they are holidays, yes I'd be really pissed off too. Does she come to see you? You mention going to see her and spending a few weekends there and time with her family. It has to be more or less equal effort I think. Tell her how you feel and see what she says. It could be that she's completely oblivious as to how you feel.
Good luck

[Sunshinewings]

I'm sure my opinion won't be very popular, but I love to travel solo and I think it's important to not lose yourself in the process of maintaining a relationship. You have to have balance and continue to do the things you love to do. That said, one of those trips *could* and probably *should* be to see you, but it's possible she has no idea how you feel about it. Maybe she's waiting on you to ask her?

[Tiger869]

Are these "international trips with her co-workers" meant to further her career? (develop her network, or knowledge of a specific market?) In that context, I wouldn't really mind. As long as my partner texts from time to time to ask for news/give news...

Yet I understand your point. Have you discussed that matter with her? Check if she's just momentarily prioritizing her career or if this is a bigger issue.

Keep us posted!

Is she travelling for her job? (If so, I want that job!)
or are they holidays? If they are holidays, yes I'd be really pissed off too. Does she come to see you? You mention going to see her and spending a few weekends there and time with her family. It has to be more or less equal effort I think. Tell her how you feel and see what she says. It could be that she's completely oblivious as to how you feel.
Good luck

Hey thanks for the feedback. No only a trip to NY was for work and I met her on that trip. They are all leisure trips outside of that one.

I understand that she likes to travel but it makes me think 2wice about visiting her because if she is taking 4 trips and none come to me but I'm going to her almost every non-work related trip; it makes me now want to do trips solo or with my friends.

[Tiger869]

I'm sure my opinion won't be very popular, but I love to travel solo and I think it's important to not lose yourself in the process of maintaining a relationship. You have to have balance and continue to do the things you love to do. That said, one of those trips *could* and probably *should* be to see you, but it's possible she has no idea how you feel about it. Maybe she's waiting on you to ask her?

I agree that it is important to have trips and time away but it becomes mixed messages when I get "oh I miss you so much and would love to see you" and then the next day saying "I'm going to Hawaii with the girls".

I think especially because if I did the same thing it would not go over very well is what amplifies my concern.