Hi everyone
My SO and I are almost together for a year now. So we decided to look at the options to close the distance.
At his point, it’s easier for me to move there ( Madrid). The rent of my appartement finishes in a couple of months and I am tired of my job here and looking for something else so timing for me is good.
I have two conditions towards my SO before I start my move to Spain.
1. He’s in the process of renewing his papers so I would like him to arrange the right documents before I move;
2. Also at his work now, he doesn’t earn sufficient money for our own appartement. Now he’s co-housing but I don’t want to join him there. We need our own space plus I have two cats that I am NOT leaving in Belgium.
He takes a looootttt of time to start arranging everything and I feel I have to push him into the right directions like ‘ make an appointment at the embassy’ and ask him 1596 times before he makes one. Which frustrates me a little bit…
Another bump in the road are the fact that he is really ready to settle down ( marry and kids) whilst I want to travel the world a couple of more years and marriage or kids are not on my to-do list ( for now or ever, still undecided).
I’m very clear about this that both things are not a thing for right now. Let’s first look for our own place, you get your things done, I get my things done and enjoy our relationship.
But every single time we call or visit or whatever he starts about getting married, how important it is for him and his family because in his culture marrying is the sign that a couple will stay together forever. Same for being pregnant. He’s 7 years older so I think that he’s really looking forward to his own family.
Till now I always had the patience to tell him that it’s too soon and not for the first couple of years and so and so on.
Now I am at the point that, all the above things combined, losing my patience and really getting frustrated. And It’s like I’m only seeing the negative sides of this relationship at the moment. We both have our good and bad sides and I love him soooo much but I don’t know what to do. Seems like talking about it, doesn’t really help..
Any people here, had or have the same problems with the marrying and baby things?
Long and chaotic post but that’s how my head feels now.
My SO and I are almost together for a year now. So we decided to look at the options to close the distance.
At his point, it’s easier for me to move there ( Madrid). The rent of my appartement finishes in a couple of months and I am tired of my job here and looking for something else so timing for me is good.
I have two conditions towards my SO before I start my move to Spain.
1. He’s in the process of renewing his papers so I would like him to arrange the right documents before I move;
2. Also at his work now, he doesn’t earn sufficient money for our own appartement. Now he’s co-housing but I don’t want to join him there. We need our own space plus I have two cats that I am NOT leaving in Belgium.
He takes a looootttt of time to start arranging everything and I feel I have to push him into the right directions like ‘ make an appointment at the embassy’ and ask him 1596 times before he makes one. Which frustrates me a little bit…
Another bump in the road are the fact that he is really ready to settle down ( marry and kids) whilst I want to travel the world a couple of more years and marriage or kids are not on my to-do list ( for now or ever, still undecided).
I’m very clear about this that both things are not a thing for right now. Let’s first look for our own place, you get your things done, I get my things done and enjoy our relationship.
But every single time we call or visit or whatever he starts about getting married, how important it is for him and his family because in his culture marrying is the sign that a couple will stay together forever. Same for being pregnant. He’s 7 years older so I think that he’s really looking forward to his own family.
Till now I always had the patience to tell him that it’s too soon and not for the first couple of years and so and so on.
Now I am at the point that, all the above things combined, losing my patience and really getting frustrated. And It’s like I’m only seeing the negative sides of this relationship at the moment. We both have our good and bad sides and I love him soooo much but I don’t know what to do. Seems like talking about it, doesn’t really help..
Any people here, had or have the same problems with the marrying and baby things?
Long and chaotic post but that’s how my head feels now.
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