Hey everyone!- so very sorry for the long post.
I think I have previously mentioned that my SOs parents are very religious and absolutely would not agree on our relationship. Because of this, him and I have never spoke about the promise of a future together, which has been really tough on the both of us. As we all know, setting a plan in a LDR is pretty important so both parties know when and what to expect.
I just visited last week and when I returned home, my SO was acting.. different. He began to close off, and today I found out why. He has been thinking about the lack of future between us and its been drawing up more questions and emotions. We have always said to each other that we were going to take it one day at a time and just see how things play out. We both knew that it wouldn't be long before something needed to change, we just never wanted to talk about it. He says that telling his family about our relationship would cause a lot of trust issues, hurt, headache, and pain between him and his family. Obviously that is not something I want to be the cause of- but how long can we keep this up without a plan?
I expressed to him that the thought of us not even trying will hurt worse than if we tried and failed. He then asked me if I would be willing to convert to his family's religion so that he had something to offer his parents when/if this talk with them ever happens. Their religion is not far from the one I was brought up with and neither of us are really religious at all but I think if this will help the situation I am willing to do it. He seems really anxious about this, even though this will not happen for a very long time, maybe years even.
I'm just stuck right now and not sure what I can do to make this easier on him. He seems extremely stressed out at the fact that one day he may have to tell his parents about me and a little apprehensive too. I don't want him to think I'm pushing this on him and making him do something he doesn't want to do. But I have to be a little selfish right now and ask "What about me"..... right? He means so much to me and I am terrified to lose him but I need something to work towards. Day by day will only work if there's a goal to work towards.
I know without a doubt that he loves me, and I know that we would have a set plan if there weren't a large barrier stopping us. We are only 6 months in and that scares me because my feelings for him have grown exponentially in such a short amount of time. Who's to say we wont be like this for another year or so only for us to end without even trying to overcome his parents?
I think I have previously mentioned that my SOs parents are very religious and absolutely would not agree on our relationship. Because of this, him and I have never spoke about the promise of a future together, which has been really tough on the both of us. As we all know, setting a plan in a LDR is pretty important so both parties know when and what to expect.
I just visited last week and when I returned home, my SO was acting.. different. He began to close off, and today I found out why. He has been thinking about the lack of future between us and its been drawing up more questions and emotions. We have always said to each other that we were going to take it one day at a time and just see how things play out. We both knew that it wouldn't be long before something needed to change, we just never wanted to talk about it. He says that telling his family about our relationship would cause a lot of trust issues, hurt, headache, and pain between him and his family. Obviously that is not something I want to be the cause of- but how long can we keep this up without a plan?
I expressed to him that the thought of us not even trying will hurt worse than if we tried and failed. He then asked me if I would be willing to convert to his family's religion so that he had something to offer his parents when/if this talk with them ever happens. Their religion is not far from the one I was brought up with and neither of us are really religious at all but I think if this will help the situation I am willing to do it. He seems really anxious about this, even though this will not happen for a very long time, maybe years even.
I'm just stuck right now and not sure what I can do to make this easier on him. He seems extremely stressed out at the fact that one day he may have to tell his parents about me and a little apprehensive too. I don't want him to think I'm pushing this on him and making him do something he doesn't want to do. But I have to be a little selfish right now and ask "What about me"..... right? He means so much to me and I am terrified to lose him but I need something to work towards. Day by day will only work if there's a goal to work towards.
I know without a doubt that he loves me, and I know that we would have a set plan if there weren't a large barrier stopping us. We are only 6 months in and that scares me because my feelings for him have grown exponentially in such a short amount of time. Who's to say we wont be like this for another year or so only for us to end without even trying to overcome his parents?
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