Too soon or too young to close the distance?

[Zephii]

I think if you're over 18, you're old enough. With age, all you do is swap one set of issues for the next, trust me, I'm old, I know You might be financially stable and established as you get older, but that's the problem, you're established! Moving to another country means giving up everything you've worked so hard for here, so there's no magic age in which you should make the jump, just do it when you're ready and when you've got a feasible plan in place. I actually think an international move is probably easier when you're a bit younger, as you haven't really settled into life yet and can adapt much more quickly.

Agreed! You don't realise how many ways you tie yourself down or how much crap you accumulate!

[annamorgan]

We're too young to close the distance yet, but we will in less than year and a half.

[LadyMarchHare]

Moon pegged it. (oh snap girl, I agreed with you! [/running gag]) So long as you're an adult and know you can maturely handle being away from mommy and daddy there's nothing stopping you. No one's gonna want to wait until they're 80 and well off to be together.

[NikkiP]

Sometimes I am sure I come across as the "Mom" advice in the crowd. But to me it is like this.

If you find someone that can truly make you happy and fufilled...follow your heart....We only live ths crazy life once...and live with no regrets. MY ex husband and i were young...but I don't regret it at all.

Live your life and take chances.........

Love is indeed beautiful.

A.) I'm going to start calling you mom
B.) You get out of MY head. I agree. Life is short.

[Mio]

I wish you all a soon reunion with your lovers!

[paulawriteslove]

I'm 19 years old and would love to close the distance asap! The only thing that is holding us back is my education. I want to graduate college and have a degree before I move any where or even get married.

[MoonWatcher]

I'm at that age where suddenly everyone I know is getting engaged and married. People who've been dating for ages, people who've been together less than a year, people I didn't even know were dating! It's just...woah. Sometimes I don't know if I just want this because I'm starting to feel like everyone around me is moving at that pace or if I actually, truly want it.

I am in exactly this situation and totally understand. In addition, my best friend and her fiance who is also a close friend got engaged and 4 days before the wedding he broke it off (not just postponed/canceled the wedding, actually broke up with her completely and isn't even wanting to talk to or be around her). My best friend also happens to be my SO's cousin, so it was a family-felt thing. So for both my boyfriend and I, we're hesitant to jump into marriage immediately.

That being said, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll get married. In fact, I daresay there's a good chance I'll be engaged by next Christmas He's the only one I want and all that I need, and I know that he'll fill even more needs that I didn't know I had.

I'm with you, Andy, in that I'm a practical thinker and don't just go off of my feelings (I'm also a homebody and have trouble imagining my life not being around family every day or my house!). Not that feelings aren't important, but they tend to betray me sometimes or I get blinded by them. We both have the same open life goals, the same ideals, and the same hopes for long-term. We think very differently, but somehow seem to end up at the same conclusion

And we're lucky enough to have the same hometown. However, both of us feel a calling to be missionaries, which may mean moving a lot. Knowing that ahead of time is intimidating. But honestly it's good we have the same plans, and as long as he's there I'm not too worried.

As for degrees, we'll probably get married before I'm done with college/uni (he's already graduated). I think that will work out fine. It will give us time to get to know each other as a married couple before we start our journey to mission work. I also never pictured myself marrying so young, or finding that Someone so early. I know that by the time the year is up, I'll be ready to have him in my life forever (even though it scares the crap out of me sometimes ).

[Andy]

I think I've always felt like a boy tbh, like Peter Pan, I never want to grow up

I'm a big kid at heart and I think it will take a long time before I accept the fact that I am/have growing/grown up

[Kika]

Im 19 and he's 23, I don't feel too young for closing the distance because Im financially independent and already living faaar away from my family and friends. The only thing is that I have another 3 years of studying to go before I can even think about it

[Tanja]

I'm 27 and I know I wanna spend my life with Andy... but sometimes the thought of him actually coming here forever scares me, mostly because I know what he's giving up and I'm afraid I won't be enough for him or that he'll get bored with me... But it's been nearly 3 years now and I WANT HIM HERE! I really really do and it's very frustrating not knowing how much longer we'll have to keep doing this LD thing. It's friggin hard!

His parents suggested he should come back to Finland with me (when I fly home from Wales in November) to look for jobs and to learn Finnish... and tbh it just freaked me out a little! I felt like I'm not ready, he can't just come here and live with me even though that's exactly what he's going to do and I know I want him to. Mixed feelings about this sometimes I suppose, feeling ready and prepared one day and scared and insecure the next... It's not easy knowing there's gonna be this huge change in my life soon.

[squiddie]

His parents suggested he should come back to Finland with me (when I fly home from Wales in November) to look for jobs and to learn Finnish... and tbh it just freaked me out a little! I felt like I'm not ready, he can't just come here and live with me even though that's exactly what he's going to do and I know I want him to. Mixed feelings about this sometimes I suppose, feeling ready and prepared one day and scared and insecure the next... It's not easy knowing there's gonna be this huge change in my life soon.

So much awesome from Andy's parents.

It's funny. Some days I don't feel ready for it, and other days I just want this year to be over so I can actually be with Penn again. I still feel like I'm rather young, but then I consider the fact that I'm doing things that other people my age haven't done yet, like living 100% alone (no roommate, knowing no one in town) and being financially responsible for myself. I mean, that's something, right? One of my things I wanted to do before I got married was live alone and prove I could handle living alone (ok, so I'm not crazy about it, but I'm doing it).

[Tabitha]

We're both definitely ready to close the distance. He's 25 and I'm 28. We're both college graduates. We're just ready to be together.

[Puramu]

I've never though really about being too young about closing the distance. I mean we do have a time range when we want to do it (in 3 years) so it's not like it's tomorrow and we don't know what's going on. We're both 19, and I figure by the time we're 22 or w/e when it's time to end the distance we will be wiser and have a set plan.

The only thing I worry about is...(no jinxing things pleaseeee, haha) that I get set up to go to vet school up there and everything, and things don't work out. Then I'll be in another country all by myself. But no, we won't let that happen, I'm just an over thinker, haha. But I think it's natural to want to end the distance right away with someone you love

[Moon]

I've never though really about being too young about closing the distance. I mean we do have a time range when we want to do it (in 3 years) so it's not like it's tomorrow and we don't know what's going on. We're both 19, and I figure by the time we're 22 or w/e when it's time to end the distance we will be wiser and have a set plan.

The only thing I worry about is...(no jinxing things pleaseeee, haha) that I get set up to go to vet school up there and everything, and things don't work out. Then I'll be in another country all by myself. But no, we won't let that happen, I'm just an over thinker, haha. But I think it's natural to want to end the distance right away with someone you love

Puramu, you're not an overthinker, I think that's intelligent thinking! You should wonder about the "what-if's" of the situation and get some kind of idea what you'll do in the worst case scenario. While I'm sure it'll work out great, you're doing the smart thing by being prepared

[nicole]

ha it was the other way round for me- I'm 20 and my SO is 24, he was saying I was too young for this at first. I think I have thoroughly convinced him otherwise. I grew up a lot sooner then he did I think. He keeps thinking I would have the same mentality as him at 20, but the thing is, I had a lot of stuff go on in my mid-teens that forced me to grow up quicker for one, and 2, the legal drinking age is 18 here, and quite frankly, I got bored of partying soon after turning 18

You know when you know. And I know after this year, I never want to be parted from him again if I can help it. We will not jump into marriage though. I am quite happy living with him and getting used to having him around all the time, then getting our puppy when we find a home. We both know we are going to marry one day, but like we've said, we've got the rest of our lives together, so we're going to enjoy things as they come.