Too soon or too young to close the distance?

[Casey]

For me its never been so much about age, but thats probably because, for four and a half years we were CDR and for a year of that we were living together.
For me its more about "what do I need to achieve before I move?" Which is 1)graduate, 2) find a job 3)find a house and 4)pack and get the hell down there.
The reason I stayed in our hometown is because of my degree, which I had 18 months left of. But I have cut this down to 6 to graduate with a three year degree instead of 4. Then I am applying for a correspondence course for the one final year (they can be offered as either as two seperate degrees i.e. 3r+ 1yr or one degree of 4years). Now I'm focussed on applying to courses and jobs. Unfortunately, my SO moved during my end of semester exams last semester and I was a complete wreck so my grades were affected - I got a pass in one course I really needed a credit in (I was two marks off) so a lot of my options regarding next year have been cut off. I have three courses I can apply to...and I haven't really thought about my options if I don't get into any of them... its not something I really want to think about or plan for because I know it will really upset me....
I think my major issue with moving will be leaving my friends and family. To be completely honest, I'm pretty okay with moving away from 99% of my friends cause they haven't been really supportive these last couple of months (not because of the LDR but more all my friends are fighting...) but I have moved home with my family so I think it will be rough moving out again and going through feeling home sick again...

[MissShortie]

I don't feel too young to close the distance, I think if it were the other way around and Clay were to move here then yeah he is only 17 and still in high school... and what I'm doing for school I can be living anywhere to do it (taking online classes) the only thing standing in my way is a place to live...
my family are very much into going to church (even though we haven't been in 6 years) and are very conservative and disapprove of the idea of living together without being married. If it were up to my dad I wouldn't even go visit Clay but seeing as I'm 20 and I'm paying for everything he can't stop me.

I have a few reasons I wouldn't move in with a boyfriend, one being because I do prefer to leave the living together part to when I am married. I also don't want to live in an apartment SO because of that I'm at a dead end, I don't make a lot of money, so saving up for JUST a down payment on a house will take FOREVER
I'm not sure what to do....

[xMesmerize124]

I sometimes think i'm too young to close the distance (I'm 18 by the way), but other times i think i'm ready, so i don't know i'm a little torn when it comes to the age thing. At first we sort of knew i wont be moving in with him until i finish school, which isn't for about 2 to 3 years but now i want to move in with him as soon as possible and finish school there. So its a little scary knowing in less than a year i'm going to be living with him, going to a university over there, and becoming an adult and all that other good stuff. I didn't realize how hard and stressful closing distance really is until now, but i know its very much worth it

[MissShortie]

I don't feel too young to close the distance, I think if it were the other way around and Clay were to move here then yeah he is only 17 and still in high school... and what I'm doing for school I can be living anywhere to do it (taking online classes) the only thing standing in my way is a place to live...
my family are very much into going to church (even though we haven't been in 6 years) and are very conservative and disapprove of the idea of living together without being married. If it were up to my dad I wouldn't even go visit Clay but seeing as I'm 20 and I'm paying for everything he can't stop me.

I have a few reasons I wouldn't move in with a boyfriend, one being because I do prefer to leave the living together part to when I am married. I also don't want to live in an apartment SO because of that I'm at a dead end, I don't make a lot of money, so saving up for JUST a down payment on a house will take FOREVER
I'm not sure what to do....

Just wanted to BUMP and see if anyone had advice, or know what they would do if they were in my shoes?

[NikkiP]

Somebody quick please say something in regards to the too soon thing and stop this anxiety I've got going on right here *points to the knot in her chest* For some reason I'm completely okay with packing up my life and going to a city where I don't know anybody but when it's the other way around I feel selfish and worry that he'll hate it here and wonder if people will think we're crazy if it happens before next summer. So yeah...

[Zephii]

I don't feel too young to close the distance, I think if it were the other way around and Clay were to move here then yeah he is only 17 and still in high school... and what I'm doing for school I can be living anywhere to do it (taking online classes) the only thing standing in my way is a place to live...
my family are very much into going to church (even though we haven't been in 6 years) and are very conservative and disapprove of the idea of living together without being married. If it were up to my dad I wouldn't even go visit Clay but seeing as I'm 20 and I'm paying for everything he can't stop me.

I have a few reasons I wouldn't move in with a boyfriend, one being because I do prefer to leave the living together part to when I am married. I also don't want to live in an apartment SO because of that I'm at a dead end, I don't make a lot of money, so saving up for JUST a down payment on a house will take FOREVER
I'm not sure what to do....

I think that you might have to find a compromise or you'll live with your parents forever. You need to ask yourself why you are holding onto those values, and then look at all options logically - and there are a lot of options.
You could live with him and not share a bed or finances. I really do recommend living with him before marriage. Loving someone does not mean you'll be able to put up with their shit every day. Try before you buy lol
But if that's truly not an option for you, you could rent one room from someone else's house. That's fairly common.
You could move out with a bunch of friends.

Why no apartment? What about a basement suite, a flat above a shop, or some other small manageable accommodation? Does it have to be a house?

Sometimes in order to get anywhere in life you have to do things you really would rather not, even just for a short period of time.

Sorry for not being very helpful.

[Zephii]

Somebody quick please say something in regards to the too soon thing and stop this anxiety I've got going on right here *points to the knot in her chest* For some reason I'm completely okay with packing up my life and going to a city where I don't know anybody but when it's the other way around I feel selfish and worry that he'll hate it here and wonder if people will think we're crazy if it happens before next summer. So yeah...

Don't worry about what other people think! It's your life

[MissShortie]

I think that you might have to find a compromise or you'll live with your parents forever. You need to ask yourself why you are holding onto those values, and then look at all options logically - and there are a lot of options.
You could live with him and not share a bed or finances. I really do recommend living with him before marriage. Loving someone does not mean you'll be able to put up with their shit every day. Try before you buy lol
But if that's truly not an option for you, you could rent one room from someone else's house. That's fairly common.
You could move out with a bunch of friends.

Why no apartment? What about a basement suite, a flat above a shop, or some other small manageable accommodation? Does it have to be a house?

Sometimes in order to get anywhere in life you have to do things you really would rather not, even just for a short period of time.

Sorry for not being very helpful.

No you were very helpful! kind of a eye opener, I mean I realize I don't want to live with my parents forever but I never really thought about it, ya know?
I don't want to live in a apartment mainly because I look at it as money going out for a place I won't live in forever, so why not just save the money up and get a place of my own, also another reason is, because I would be living by myself and I wouldn't want to live in a apartment by myself.... ALSO there aren't very many apartments there that show up online, but maybe when I go this month I'll keep a eye open

Thanks for the advice!

[5000miles]

Yes, I sometimes get the overwhelming feeling of being too young (mostly just too young for marriage though... btw I'm 20 and he's 22) But we're not going to rush into a fiance visa to get him over here. He's looking into a student visa now. I don't think I'll feel too young to live with him... just too young to get married. If he can get over here on a student visa, then we'll live together for a few years and then look into the fiance visa. I think I'll be okay with it by then.

[twolips28]

well I have alot of experience in this sort of thing. Im 28 going through a divorce (my choice and for the best). We met through yahoo chat 8 years ago. Im from canada n he was from Texas. I moved down there within 9 months I was 21 n he was 23. We got married 1 month after and 9 months later came our first child. (we have 3 children together). First off moving down there I was sooooo very happy n excited. Everyone thought we were crazy and nuts, but im known for doing crazy things. We were together for a long time had alot of bad times and some ok times. But I have never regretted anything, I think I would kick myself in the butt if i never made such a hasty decision. YOu should make your life into "Look what I did!" instead of "What if?" Inorder to learn about your self and grow as an individual you should always push ureself to the limit. As long as your not hurting yourself or anyone else things always workout in the end. Life is too short to be scared and hung up over insecurities. People can adapt in any situation good or bad and for the most part you will always look back at your life and see all the cool fun things you never thought u would do or accomplish. If you want something bad enough go for it and never look back, you will be happy you did!!

I have met someone else and he wants to get married as soon as we can n wants more kids. (he has one daughter already) Yes my family thinks im crazy, but im happy and thats all that matters. We are talking about buying a house together in a few months and expanding our family, who says 4 kids is alot lol. Hell yea im scared....id be stupid not to be, but at the same time why would i not want to be with someone that loves me so much n loves my kids as his own. He is ready to adopt them, and his daughter's mother died so I will be adpoting her too.

Life is very confusing but at the same time to actually live you must take risks and step out of your comfort zone or your not really living at all your just exisiting.