Forum Support...

[Karringtyn]

This thread has been coming for awhile in my brain...but truly was sparked when I saw today that someone had yet again rated another one of my support posts as a 1 star...which means "bad."


Why? Why bother? If you have a problem with what I have written...they message me. Negative reps were removed because users couldn't use them correctly and now I am being given a 1 star because I ask for support. You don't like what I write? Hit the back button....if I have replied and given you feedback you don't like....kindly write me and tell me to stay off your entries. I will respect that. But to each time have something I post be rated a 1 is honestly very cold.

This site is wonderful. I have had a rough few weeks and without this site I seriously probably would have sank in a deep depression. I offer support and my wisdom and I am willing to help when I can.

Support can come in many forms. It can come from a reply that tells you the way it is. It can come from just an "I understand"...a message...a note left on a profile...each of these support systems can truly help each of us. I think the dynamics of this website are amazing and I appreciate all of the members. The rep points I have gotten and the comments on them have been very kind.

Some people talk about the amount of posts one has and a few have talked about popularity. To me none of that really matters. It's the amount of support behind the words and the care and concern the users offer. To me that is what is important.

I deal with two faced people each and every day...we all do. So why are people choosing to be that way on here too?

I challenge each of you....say what you mean and mean what you say. We all are walking our own fights and facing our own battles. You only know a part of each persons life...what they are willing to open up and share.

Behind each user name is a person with real feelings. Think about that as you hit "submit" on any area that you do on this site.

Including giving a thread a low score because the person asked for support.

[Silviar]

We come to this forum to find support in our struggles with LDR romance. We're all already struggling with missing our mates, and often along with that comes money/time stress. I think it's important, given each of our own individual struggles, that we keep that in mind when we post responses to other people.

Posting a 1 star on your support thread, when so many other threads go unrated, strikes me as unkind and unnecessary. If you don't have anything nice to say or don't like a person, then skip their threads. No one expects to be universally popular. Heck, I'm always surprised people like me, since I tend to be bluntly honest (not a preferred trait to most humans).

For what it's worth, Karr, I've appreciated the advice and reassurance you've given me when we had our divorcee crabby old women talks. You, me and Eternity being stuck in the same boat really resonates.

[JoMarie]

I agree through and through. I was getting negative rep for stupid things like saying Hi and welcome to someone new on the forums. Its really a horrible system in my opinion, I was happy with the way things were before the rep system but I'm just one person. My thing is I come here for support, and to offer support not to be rated on how much some random person likes or dislikes my post, because to be honest I couldn't care less. I'd much rather said random person just avoided my posts if they really didn't like them all that much.

I come here because I want to, because I enjoy it. I refuse to change the way I post because of a rep system. It may seem like a harsh response but I really feel strongly about this. Sorry if it bothers anyone.

[Zephii]

People actually use the rating system? Who knew O.o

Don't let it get you down. *Hugs*

[Silviar]

People actually use the rating system? Who knew O.o

Don't let it get you down. *Hugs*

Rofl! I know, right? On one level, that was my first thought, too! XD

[folclor]

*hugs* I understand what you mean ; ^ ; People shouldn't be doing that... But know that for every one person who pulls things like that, there are a lot of us who are right there behind you to help out. ^^

[LadyMarchHare]

Everyone here has different opinions on how one should react to certain things, what responses should be given, etc. I only rate threads when I can give them a full rating because I do think it's kinda squicky to see 1 star like the thread was totally awful. I can see why whoever rated it that way did, it certainly wasn't the reaction I think most would give here to such a situation, but we're human. We're gonna have our bad moments.

It's pretty much the same reason I don't reply to certain threads whether they're made by certain people or not because my opinion lands me in the doghouse because it's not sugar-coated or I just happen to be a bitch for an hour and not play games. Am I looking to be rude? No, I just call things how I see it and unfortunately if you spit it back in my face I get nasty.

Naturally, not everyone is going to get along here. We as humans can't get along with everyone or agree with what they say for the sake of peace and if there's a method to give them a subtle 'fu' such as the thread rating, the late negative reps, and even closing threads so you can't have your say anymore, they'll take it and run with it. Petty arguments happen, pure unadulterated hate happens. We just gotta remember that the aspect of getting along is peanuts compared to what this site's for.

[Moon]

Oh sweetie, it's the internet and some people are just jerks You can't let an anonymous nasty person affect you so much, as it'll only encourage them to continue doing so. Someone obviously doesn't appreciate your viewpoint, but that's always going to be the case with so many varied opinions. As far as internet forums go, this is one of the friendliest ones I've ever seen, don't let one idiot spoil it for you. Besides, the whole ratings system is stupid, what is really gained by it anyway? I couldn't care less about my internet reputation in the real world, so try letting it roll off your back and don't let something so meaningless bother you so much.

[NikkiP]

I just discovered rating threads this morning (cause I was looking for ways to get more points, yes I am that nerdy) and so I went through and gave 5 stars to a few threads that I've thoroughly enjoyed. Negative ratings are no fun and furthermore, why do you continue to read the ones that have no interest to you?

I get nervous when posting advice cause I'm like hmmm you're being brutally honest again but xyz person seems sincere and I've grown to care about a few people on here pretty quickly so (especially when they're from upstate new york and can handle my bluntness) I lay it out and ask the questions.

But I agree, if I ever piss anybody off, please let me know and I will just most likely stop responding to your threads.

*big hugs to Karringtyn*

Oh, and I agree. This site IS wonderful.

[NikkiP]

Oh yeah... and what does "Rep Power: 1" even mean? I know the other day it was 0... ?

[Rosebud]

Wow I didn't even know we could do that O.o Rate individual posts? I'm sorry someone is going out of their way to bring you down Karringtyn, I know it'stough but just try to ignore them I for one appreciate your posting around

*btw, loving that side ponytail in your avatar!

[Mio]

We are all here to have a good times and get help, people should just back off from this popularity issue!

[Karringtyn]

Ya'all..thank you.

First of all....its not "affecting me and bringing me down".....it is the internet...but as I said...there are people behind the user names...

I am sure I have already figured out who it is...and tho it surprises me....I also will adapt the F%$^ it attitude...it is what it is...

[Karringtyn]

And to those who are surprised the rating system is used...

I have used it..I think it is a neat way to point out the really good threads for others to read.

Mine have been rated a 1 over the last few days..any I put up...yesterday I gave it a 5 because it pissed me off someone rated another support post a one..

Whatever....it's done.

I will sit back and watch..

[lisaar910]

What's the point of having 1 star anyways? Anytime I rate posts it's because I really like what someone has said or that I really enjoyed a thread as a whole. Maybe we should just have one option like the reputation. Kind of like "liking" something on facebook. I don't know if the system could be set up that way, but it would be a possible solution to this problem.