Coronavirus Stories. Post yours here. Support and encourage each other

[Ustome]

So, I'm three weeks into lock down, he is about five. We've been talking as much as ever - multiple video chats a day - but this last week it's got tough. There's nothing to talk about! We are both in lock down! And, added to that, he's feeling really fed up now and bored of the situation - he assures me it isn't me but I'm beginning to feel anxious.

[autumn1790]

Had my lonely birthday all by myself. Thank goodness for group video calls to bring some sense of normalcy. I can't wait for all of this to be over. The innundation of everything covid-related is quite overwhelming.

[MorgsLily]

Hey all,
I'm Lily. I'm not only in a long distance relationship, but I'm also a long time lurker here. I'm in love with my man since 2017 and we are still nevermets. We had a lot of hurdles to get over in the last 3 years. Divorce, illnesses, financial Problems. The timing was just never right. It always felt right though.
In January finally everything fit. I found the perfect condo for us to stay in over in California. Booked the flight. Got everything covered at work with taking 3 weeks off. I was supposed to get on the plane on May 1st for our first Meeting. We had a romantic date planned for May 2nd for our Monthly anniversary.
Then Corona started and since then I'm watching all this in utter disbelief. One of my flights got cancelled last week. I had to cancel the condo last week, because no flight...no trip.
I thought I'm over this, but getting those cancellations and having to cancel really took me down. I'm devastated. It hurts, even physically. Everything was set, everything was wonderful, we had so many plans what to do. I was careful with being overjoyed in the beginning anyway, but when I finally dared to look forward to the trip, to be so glad and happy and we both were, then this…
I remembered the forum today and thought this might be the right place to talk about it.
I'm not scared that we will break up, but I'm scared about the uncertainty. We can't plan right now, because there's no clue when the travel restrictions will be gone. I don't dare to just book anything not even for later in the year until I know when this will end. I'm scared that something else comes in the way when we can finally reschedule. I'm scared that I won't get the condo again which was just so perfect and affordable. This is like a big lump in my throat and the last days I can't get rid of it no matter how much the sun is shining and the birds are singing.

So...sorry for my first post being such a sad one, but thanks for opening this thread OhioJim, this was exactly what I needed today.

[OhioJim]

So...sorry for my first post being such a sad one, but thanks for opening this thread OhioJim, this was exactly what I needed today.

You are very welcome!

And this is exactly why I started this thread.

I don't know if you have read any of my posts, but my SO and I are in a similar situation. Her mother was supposed to get out of the hospital March 3, then this pandemic hit. My SO would have been back here by now, and I can't stop thinking of all the things we could be doing, that we had talked about, if it wasn't for this virus. We had a spaghetti (her favorite) date scheduled for her birthday May 5, Now we will have to cancel, I'm afraid.

[vivid_idea]

Hey all,
I'm Lily. I'm not only in a long distance relationship, but I'm also a long time lurker here. I'm in love with my man since 2017 and we are still nevermets. We had a lot of hurdles to get over in the last 3 years. Divorce, illnesses, financial Problems. The timing was just never right. It always felt right though.
In January finally everything fit. I found the perfect condo for us to stay in over in California. Booked the flight. Got everything covered at work with taking 3 weeks off. I was supposed to get on the plane on May 1st for our first Meeting. We had a romantic date planned for May 2nd for our Monthly anniversary.
Then Corona started and since then I'm watching all this in utter disbelief. One of my flights got cancelled last week. I had to cancel the condo last week, because no flight...no trip.
I thought I'm over this, but getting those cancellations and having to cancel really took me down. I'm devastated. It hurts, even physically. Everything was set, everything was wonderful, we had so many plans what to do. I was careful with being overjoyed in the beginning anyway, but when I finally dared to look forward to the trip, to be so glad and happy and we both were, then this…
I remembered the forum today and thought this might be the right place to talk about it.
I'm not scared that we will break up, but I'm scared about the uncertainty. We can't plan right now, because there's no clue when the travel restrictions will be gone. I don't dare to just book anything not even for later in the year until I know when this will end. I'm scared that something else comes in the way when we can finally reschedule. I'm scared that I won't get the condo again which was just so perfect and affordable. This is like a big lump in my throat and the last days I can't get rid of it no matter how much the sun is shining and the birds are singing.

So...sorry for my first post being such a sad one, but thanks for opening this thread OhioJim, this was exactly what I needed today.

Hi MorgsLily, welcome to the forum. I read your story. That must be so overwhelming and frustrating for you. Having plans dashed like that is heartbreaking. I remember when I thought I wouldn’t be able to see my SO for another 7 months, after having not seen him for already 6 months. I just sat in my car and cried. Long distance is so so challenging, but this worldwide epidemic is another brutal layer on top! It’s lonely not knowing when we can see our SOs again 😔

The good news is that there are a lot of people on the forum who are happy to help if you need support. We can get thru this, and I think our relationships will be stronger because of it.

Btw, I looked at your profile and noticed you are from Bavaria. My SO is in Berlin 😊

[OhioJim]

....The good news is that there are a lot of people on the forum who are happy to help if you need support. We can get thru this, and I think our relationships will be stronger because of it. ....

And be comforted by knowing that you are not alone in this!

[MorgsLily]

Hi MorgsLily, welcome to the forum. I read your story. That must be so overwhelming and frustrating for you. Having plans dashed like that is heartbreaking. I remember when I thought I wouldn’t be able to see my SO for another 7 months, after having not seen him for already 6 months. I just sat in my car and cried. Long distance is so so challenging, but this worldwide epidemic is another brutal layer on top! It’s lonely not knowing when we can see our SOs again 😔

The good news is that there are a lot of people on the forum who are happy to help if you need support. We can get thru this, and I think our relationships will be stronger because of it.

Btw, I looked at your profile and noticed you are from Bavaria. My SO is in Berlin 😊

Hey vivid_idea! Thanks so much for your reply!
I love Berlin!!! I've been there a couple of times over the years and I fall in love with the City over and over again. I feel very comfortable there.
Have you met him there yet?

I'm not certain why I didn't think of the forum here earlier. But first I was in shock and disbelief, tried to bargain with myself, that May 1st is so far away. Then I fell into the black whole of dispair and thought social distancing might be the only Thing that helps me. Retreat into my Apartment and Keep to myself and tend my misery. I can talk to my best Friends and they also know my man from lots of Video calls already and chatting to him on their own, but it's still different than to talk to someone who *really* gets it.
So I guess...yesterday was the right timing to show up here and open up.
Part of it might also be that so far I kinda felt like a failure because in 3 years we never managed to scheduled a first meeting. So when we finally had that wired I felt so good like proving everybody who might have laughed at me that our relationship is real. Not just to me.

As for that because it came up a couple of pages before...I never had a better relationship than this one with my SO. And I had a couple in my life. Long ones. Miserable ones. Miserable from the inside. Now I'm only miserable if something happens from the outside. Our foundation word is "together" and that's how we do things. We work through them together. I've never been more heard or seen or cared for in a relationship before. And we didn't even have any physical encounter yet. "Yet" being the big word. I just wanna meet him. And go from there. One step at a time. Even if we could only hold hands, being in the same space together is the next thing to achieve.
I definitely fell madly in love with my SO without knowing anything about his looks or appearance. I'm looking forward to every new day with him. I know I will be devastated if I ever have to let him go, no matter why. And even though I would give up long distance in a heartbeat, I wouldn't give him up. He's my favorite person in the whole world and distance or circumstances haven't changed anything about that.

Our original plans were to meet in January for our 3 year anniversary and our birthdays (his is January 15th, mine January 16th ), but we postponed it because of my changing departments at work. But this was something *we* decided. That was easier to cope with.
This getting whacked in the head with the Corona hammer is hard for everybody to bear, I think.

[MorgsLily]

You are very welcome!

And this is exactly why I started this thread.

I don't know if you have read any of my posts, but my SO and I are in a similar situation. Her mother was supposed to get out of the hospital March 3, then this pandemic hit. My SO would have been back here by now, and I can't stop thinking of all the things we could be doing, that we had talked about, if it wasn't for this virus. We had a spaghetti (her favorite) date scheduled for her birthday May 5, Now we will have to cancel, I'm afraid.

I have read every page of the thread...actually soaking it up and I read about your situation. I am soooo sorry that your plans might get screwed up too.
Especially with having lovely plans like dates and such it hurts double.


So...knowing that there are People out there who understand, who know how it feels, helps so much. It took me a while to get here, but I'm very glad I finally did and dared to step out in the open.
Thank you everybody for sharing your stories, for letting us know how you feel, for being here.

Let's stick together and get through this and then let's celebrate each meeting we accomplish and cheer for every booked flight or trip after this mess ends.

[MorgsLily]

I highly recommend the article in the Guardian. Very well written and to the point!
I also have to say that my anxiety and nervousness dropped a lot since I posted here yesterday. Thank you! I might even be able to focus on work for a bit today.

[vivid_idea]

So...knowing that there are People out there who understand, who know how it feels, helps so much. It took me a while to get here, but I'm very glad I finally did and dared to step out in the open.
Thank you everybody for sharing your stories, for letting us know how you feel, for being here.

Let's stick together and get through this and then let's celebrate each meeting we accomplish and cheer for every booked flight or trip after this mess ends.

I feel the same way, completely. It’s amazing what a help this place can be! I want to celebrate for and with everyone too!

And I wanted to say please don’t feel like a failure for having not met each other yet. Your time will come! In the meantime, don’t underestimate the power of the bond you build together.

It was 11 months before I first met my SO. I was so nervous wondering if it would be different IRL. But when you have a really strong bond with someone, everything feels wonderful and all those missing pieces of the jigsaw finally fall into place. I will never forget how our eyes met for the first time and the way his lit up and he said my name. I fell in love with him all over again then and there!

You have so much to look forward to!!!

[Kseniia]

Hi Lily!
Sorry to hear that your plans had to be cancelled. I know how you feel as I was supposed to meet a guy whom I like very much in the end of March. But because of the travel ban our plans did not work out and now we do not know when we can meet. But we are not even in a relationship as he says that its important to meet in real life, spend some time together and know each other better....(he was hurt before badly and now very careful and cautious about starting new relationship)
One part of me (logical and pragmatic) agrees with him, but other part of me (romantic) wants to start dating..... and there is a fear that he just loses his interest and patience and gives up on us as this situation with virus, lockdowns and travel ban feels like a limbo.....
At least you know that your man loves you and is ready to wait for you, so I believe that you will be together eventually.

[officiallilgay]

Hi Lily!
Sorry to hear that your plans had to be cancelled. I know how you feel as I was supposed to meet a guy whom I like very much in the end of March. But because of the travel ban our plans did not work out and now we do not know when we can meet. But we are not even in a relationship as he says that its important to meet in real life, spend some time together and know each other better....(he was hurt before badly and now very careful and cautious about starting new relationship)
One part of me (logical and pragmatic) agrees with him, but other part of me (romantic) wants to start dating..... and there is a fear that he just loses his interest and patience and gives up on us as this situation with virus, lockdowns and travel ban feels like a limbo.....
At least you know that your man loves you and is ready to wait for you, so I believe that you will be together eventually.

Hi Kseniia,

I am in a similar situation as you. I finally started dating a guy that I've known for a few years but only ever had a physical relationship with. This February we started spending more time with each other and started getting closer. Unfortunately he works in a different state and can only fly to come visit 10 days a month. Over the phone we talked about potentially becoming official, but decided to wait until we see each other again in March to talk about it in person. Unfortunately the quarantine started and he decided not to come (with much reason, I am in NY which is not doing well).

We tried to do long distance but ultimately it didn't work. It started with frequent texting and Facetiming, but eventually he would stop texting first/taking hours/days to respond. Throughout this I tried to check in as much as possible, I asked him about his feelings a lot and we tried to make accommodations for each other's different capacity level. For example, he said he didn't like texting because we had a lot of miscommunication over text, so we decided to only talk over the phone. But despite of this, he just couldn't keep up. We had a final conversation where he said he lost interest because of how long it's been since we've seen each other in person and we decided to end things.

The truth is some people are made for long distance and some people aren't. I had a lot of online friendships growing up so communicating exclusively online isn't new to me, and I can still form intimate bonds with people from only texting/calling. But for some people, being in the same room with someone is extremely important. Being close physically is important. Some people think "any communication is better than no communication," and some people think "I would rather not talk at all than to only talk over text/Facetime." I had to accept that me and him were different in this sense, and that could possibly be the case for you too.

I think in your case you should approach this moment in time as an experiment, and test out different ways of communication to find the way that works best for you. But also be prepared if none of the methods you try seem to work, and you have to take a break until you see him in person again. Me and the guy I was dating ended contact over a week ago, and I still miss him so so much, but I know if I tried talking to him again we would both just be disappointed. Maybe one day we will see each other again, but I've decided to take this time to try to move on so I don't keep waiting.

It's a really tough situation, and I understand the anxiety you feel. I am hoping for the best for you and that the long distance can work out, but it is a really difficult and confusing time so I feel for you if things don't end up where you want them to be. To feel a little at peace, I just remind myself that this is just coincidentally very bad timing, and it's no one's fault or intention. And eventually it will end and life can start again.

[JuiceyCeeys]

Hello all,

(I am new here so bare with me if I make mistakes).

I was reading over some of everyones stories and I am moved.
It's such a hard time for people in LDR's. At first you feel as though you will be alright as you are used to not seeing your significant other - but then the uncertainty kicks in and time just keeps going.
Staying strong and communicating with others in the same boat helps. As well as, keeping your partner positive and checking in as much as you can.
As much as I miss my partner dearly, I know better days are coming. So to anyone that feels anxious or depressed or uncertain, focus on better days and I'm sure you and your partner will get through things.

Before you know it, you will booking that flight to see your significant other or making plans for the next milestone.

It's hard right now so be strong for yourself and your partner.

If anyone wants to share their story with me directly, please do.
I'd love to share mine out and converse about how covid is really affecting LdRs

Take care

[Morg's Lily]

Hey all! Just wanted to check in and wanted to see how everyone is doing. Sorry for retreating into my hole again. 🙈 I'm an introvert most of the days, not regularly coming out of my shell. 😅 But please know that you and all the people in long distance relationships are always in my thoughts and prayers.

As for my situation...I had good days and energy to do my job properly. But it started going south again a few days ago when the date of the booked and now canceled flight came closer and I had to talk to the airline. Since then I feel quite sad again. Mad also. The uncertainty is so hard. They prolonged the travel restrictions here until June 14th, so definitely no making plans before this. I find this the hardest part...not knowing when to move on.and it feels like this emotions will stay with me until we can make new plans.
My SO is amazing as also. Calm and collected amidst the storm and very patient and understanding with me. I've cried a river in the last days. 😅 I can't help but thinking that I would be in California right now, that everything was planned and perfect. And I also know exactly that this only hurts me further. Still not certain how to cope with it.
So I'm trying to live each day as best as I can although it's really hard and actually time seems to be dragging with all the restrictions going on.

How are you doing and coping? Having a hard time distracting myself these days. Any tips? What's your go to distraction? How are your SOs? Everybody ok so far?

[Atlantic Crossroads]

I made the mistake of looking at the news for Ireland regarding travel. They don't think international travel is looking good this year. That means we will be forced to endure at least 2 years apart from one another.
One year apart was so tough that we broke up! How are we meant to cope for a second year?!
What upsets me more is that I ignored my intuition which told me to go over asap in the New year. I was unaware of anything at that point, but I had this inner niggling feeling that I should go over as we'd cancelled our Christmas visit and we were struggling then.