Hi all, I wanted to update you guys on what happened. So basically, he still hasn't gotten off the waitlist and during the time we were broken up, I really thought for a long time whether I should just make the move to his state. I finally decided recently that I really wanted to still be with him, and he claims he still really likes me that I'm perfect for him. It was a big sacrifice to leave my family for him while not being financially stable without a car, but I was willing to give it a try.
I told him about it and he said he was open to the idea if I really wanted to move. However, he brought up another problem. He's gotten really close to the female friend I've mentioned before, she has severe depression and he HAS to be there for her. He says that during the time apart, he had a routine with her of calling (voice chat) 1-3 hours each night, ranting, studying, chilling, etc. but he claims they don't have feelings for each other. Even if I become his gf again, he said he wouldn't stop talking to this friend because it's unfair for her and there's no reason for him to leave her. I told him I could possibly get close to her and join those calls, but he said that's weird and probably uncomfortable for her. No matter how much I tried to reason that it feels uncomfortable for me to have him spend time with and give attention to her, he said I'm being unreasonable for not letting him keep talking to his close friend 'because it's a girl'.
He kept telling me my points are valid, but doesn't want to make a compromise of him gradually spending less time talking to her each week. I'm okay with them texting, but voice calling 1-3 hours every night is too much for me. He said it's a consequence of our break up, basically it feels like I have to deal with it because I caused it. I don't think it's wrong for him to have gotten close to her, but if he wanted me to move to his state and be with me, I think he should try to give me more time, especially in a LDR.
Nonetheless, we couldn't come to an agreement on that matter. We were on different pages. He says a lot has changed since the break up which I understand, but it just felt like he didn't want to work at all for us anymore. So I'm happy to say, I've dodged a bullet. We've broken up. As much tears as I've shed, time I've spent, I know I won't get it back, but at least I know I'm not stuck in a relationship where I have to share time with a depressed female friend of his. *I'm not trying to minimize the severity of depression. I understand it is a problem and she is going through therapy, but he said he will still have these hangouts with her even after her depression is gone because they've gotten close and it's just how it happened.*
I told him about it and he said he was open to the idea if I really wanted to move. However, he brought up another problem. He's gotten really close to the female friend I've mentioned before, she has severe depression and he HAS to be there for her. He says that during the time apart, he had a routine with her of calling (voice chat) 1-3 hours each night, ranting, studying, chilling, etc. but he claims they don't have feelings for each other. Even if I become his gf again, he said he wouldn't stop talking to this friend because it's unfair for her and there's no reason for him to leave her. I told him I could possibly get close to her and join those calls, but he said that's weird and probably uncomfortable for her. No matter how much I tried to reason that it feels uncomfortable for me to have him spend time with and give attention to her, he said I'm being unreasonable for not letting him keep talking to his close friend 'because it's a girl'.
He kept telling me my points are valid, but doesn't want to make a compromise of him gradually spending less time talking to her each week. I'm okay with them texting, but voice calling 1-3 hours every night is too much for me. He said it's a consequence of our break up, basically it feels like I have to deal with it because I caused it. I don't think it's wrong for him to have gotten close to her, but if he wanted me to move to his state and be with me, I think he should try to give me more time, especially in a LDR.
Nonetheless, we couldn't come to an agreement on that matter. We were on different pages. He says a lot has changed since the break up which I understand, but it just felt like he didn't want to work at all for us anymore. So I'm happy to say, I've dodged a bullet. We've broken up. As much tears as I've shed, time I've spent, I know I won't get it back, but at least I know I'm not stuck in a relationship where I have to share time with a depressed female friend of his. *I'm not trying to minimize the severity of depression. I understand it is a problem and she is going through therapy, but he said he will still have these hangouts with her even after her depression is gone because they've gotten close and it's just how it happened.*
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