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We live together, now it's back to long distance for an uncertain amount of time

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    We live together, now it's back to long distance for an uncertain amount of time

    My boyfriend lived 7 hours by car away when we met in Berlin, where I lived. We hit it off instantly and for the next 5 months he came to visit me every (!) weekend, driving 14 hours each weekend to be with me. The time was miraculous. We had so much fun, enjoying the city together and fell deeply in love. I loved the city, I loved my friends, I loved him and I loved my life. Everything was so great, it felt like a fairytale.

    I quit my studies because I wasn't very passionate about them and had dreams of becoming a psychologist. That was in january. I knew that I couldn't start studying psychology until september and that I'd have to move to the Netherlands for my studies, because I wouldn't get accepted in Germany due to insufficient grades. I decided to move to the town where my boyfriend lives, a small city with 200000 inhabitants. While the two of us were happy together, I felt super alone, homesick and sad. I knew noone here and my boyfriend doesn't hang out with his friends a lot, he prefers to be alone most of the time. I couldn't find work due to the pandemic and it wasn't really possible to meet new people either.. I basically spent the past 6 months all alone with books, while he was at work. He's unhappy with his current job, so it's been a rough time for both of us. I adapted to my new life style at one point, stopped crying over it and focused all my energy on planning my studies.

    We had planned to move to the Netherlands together as soon as possible, but he hasn't been lucky with the job search yet. Since the subrent contract for our current apartment ends at the 1st of july I will move to a flat share in the Netherlands that day. I will spend the next 2 months settling in, taking care of paperwork, getting a part time job and looking for an apartment for the two of us. The problem is that he's very particular about what kind of job he wants to do and that he doesn't speak Dutch or sufficient English for most positions, which limits the opportunities very much. He also has entrepreneural aspirations, but doesn't have enough money saved to go full-time self-employed and start his own business yet. To me it all seems quite hopeless and I worry that his career would take a big hit by moving to Holland. He's a workaholic, so it's super important to him.

    We love living together, cuddling at night and waking up next to each other. It's all going really well between us, although of course the situation puts a lot of pressure on us. I feel like life is calling us into different directions. We've talked about breaking up, because it would make things much easier for both of us. But we don't want to. We really want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I just want what's best for him even if that doesn't include me.

    I don't really have anyone else to talk to who understands long distance relationships. The people around us think we're crazy for making all these sacrifices to be together. How can I keep my hopes up, fight through the uncertainty of if and when we can ever be together , while being a loving and supportive girlfriend? The thought of going long distance again after having lived together is killing me. Has anyone of you been in a similar situation and has some uplifting our simply honest words for me? Does anyone have advice on how to make it through this?

    #2
    I think you should relax a bit and look at the britght side. I only know what you told us (so maybe there are additional details that change it), but it doesn't sound so dramatic to me. Maybe you wanted everything to be perfect too fast, but we cannot get it all sometimes. Now you got your SO, but you lost sometthing else. Yet,this situation is not permanent.

    The first step is having a deep conversation with your boyfriend. Share your feelings and worrieswith him. You can consider, maybe, go back to your parents home. The pandemic is a major problem for everyone in this page. Sadly all we can do is wait.... Luckily the EU is somewhat lifting bans among EU countries, I'm not completely sure but I think trips between the Netherlands and Germany are allowed, if not it will be quite soon.

    Finding a job right now is hard... and you are still young. So maybe the issue is lack of studies and experience? Have you considered studying again? You said you've been rejected in a German university, but maybe you can try others? There are plenty of options. Getting a job with a degree will be always easier (and better paid). Simultaneously, your boyfriend can study English and Dutch, it isn't supposed to be difficult for a German speaker. And for sure being trilingual will help him to purse jobs in the Netherlands (and the same for you in Germany)

    You have to consider all opportunities you have right now, and your boyfriend should do the same. Look for one which is suitable for both. If not, you can consider the distance once again.

    And I don't suggest you to break up, definitely not. But maybe you should consider living (temporally) in a place where you feel neither lonely or useless, a place where you can either work or study. You are still young and your boyfriend doesn't come from a so distant place, you don't even need a passport to visit him during the breaks or to live again with him later on.

    At the end, if every career fails... you can always join a customer support job with your boyfriend. These places always accept German and Dutch people and even help people to relocate. It is not great. I just say so to remind you can stay positive, you have alternatives and if you ever have a distance again with your boyfriend it will be for a short period.
    Why am I always trying the impossible?

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      #3
      Hello Enric,
      thank you for your reply.
      I'm moving to the Netherlands next week and start my studies of psychology there in september. I've been excepted there, it's all settled. Our major problem now is moving HIM to the Netherlands too. Both of us are very career-minded, so it's very important to both of us that we can pursue our career dreams. He's very frustrated, I know that he's got a lot on his plate with making this huge transition work. I hate to just sit back and watch how it affects him. Also since I'm at home, I have way too much time right now to obsess and stress about everything.

      We've talked about our feelings A LOT. We discuss it all the time and make sure we are on the same page.

      I feel kind of stupid because I know that so many people here in this forum can't see their loved ones at all right now due to travel restrictions. And I'll get to see him every weekend, it's only a 3 hour car ride. It just feels crushing to go from living together to seeing each other in the weekends. I'm probably stressing about it way too much. I know that we love each other so much and if we're lucky it will only be a couple months until we can be together again. But I just can't help but worry that the distance will makes us lose touch with each other. I guess the answer is just frequent contact and date nights, right?

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        #4
        Teaching him some Dutch on date nights wouldn't hurt. Looking up German speaking companies that might not need language requirements and sending cold emails/calls could score him an opportunity depending on his trade. Again, like Enric mentioned, language is important so he should enroll in some courses in English/Dutch.

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