My boyfriend lived 7 hours by car away when we met in Berlin, where I lived. We hit it off instantly and for the next 5 months he came to visit me every (!) weekend, driving 14 hours each weekend to be with me. The time was miraculous. We had so much fun, enjoying the city together and fell deeply in love. I loved the city, I loved my friends, I loved him and I loved my life. Everything was so great, it felt like a fairytale.
I quit my studies because I wasn't very passionate about them and had dreams of becoming a psychologist. That was in january. I knew that I couldn't start studying psychology until september and that I'd have to move to the Netherlands for my studies, because I wouldn't get accepted in Germany due to insufficient grades. I decided to move to the town where my boyfriend lives, a small city with 200000 inhabitants. While the two of us were happy together, I felt super alone, homesick and sad. I knew noone here and my boyfriend doesn't hang out with his friends a lot, he prefers to be alone most of the time. I couldn't find work due to the pandemic and it wasn't really possible to meet new people either.. I basically spent the past 6 months all alone with books, while he was at work. He's unhappy with his current job, so it's been a rough time for both of us. I adapted to my new life style at one point, stopped crying over it and focused all my energy on planning my studies.
We had planned to move to the Netherlands together as soon as possible, but he hasn't been lucky with the job search yet. Since the subrent contract for our current apartment ends at the 1st of july I will move to a flat share in the Netherlands that day. I will spend the next 2 months settling in, taking care of paperwork, getting a part time job and looking for an apartment for the two of us. The problem is that he's very particular about what kind of job he wants to do and that he doesn't speak Dutch or sufficient English for most positions, which limits the opportunities very much. He also has entrepreneural aspirations, but doesn't have enough money saved to go full-time self-employed and start his own business yet. To me it all seems quite hopeless and I worry that his career would take a big hit by moving to Holland. He's a workaholic, so it's super important to him.
We love living together, cuddling at night and waking up next to each other. It's all going really well between us, although of course the situation puts a lot of pressure on us. I feel like life is calling us into different directions. We've talked about breaking up, because it would make things much easier for both of us. But we don't want to. We really want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I just want what's best for him even if that doesn't include me.
I don't really have anyone else to talk to who understands long distance relationships. The people around us think we're crazy for making all these sacrifices to be together. How can I keep my hopes up, fight through the uncertainty of if and when we can ever be together , while being a loving and supportive girlfriend? The thought of going long distance again after having lived together is killing me. Has anyone of you been in a similar situation and has some uplifting our simply honest words for me? Does anyone have advice on how to make it through this?
I quit my studies because I wasn't very passionate about them and had dreams of becoming a psychologist. That was in january. I knew that I couldn't start studying psychology until september and that I'd have to move to the Netherlands for my studies, because I wouldn't get accepted in Germany due to insufficient grades. I decided to move to the town where my boyfriend lives, a small city with 200000 inhabitants. While the two of us were happy together, I felt super alone, homesick and sad. I knew noone here and my boyfriend doesn't hang out with his friends a lot, he prefers to be alone most of the time. I couldn't find work due to the pandemic and it wasn't really possible to meet new people either.. I basically spent the past 6 months all alone with books, while he was at work. He's unhappy with his current job, so it's been a rough time for both of us. I adapted to my new life style at one point, stopped crying over it and focused all my energy on planning my studies.
We had planned to move to the Netherlands together as soon as possible, but he hasn't been lucky with the job search yet. Since the subrent contract for our current apartment ends at the 1st of july I will move to a flat share in the Netherlands that day. I will spend the next 2 months settling in, taking care of paperwork, getting a part time job and looking for an apartment for the two of us. The problem is that he's very particular about what kind of job he wants to do and that he doesn't speak Dutch or sufficient English for most positions, which limits the opportunities very much. He also has entrepreneural aspirations, but doesn't have enough money saved to go full-time self-employed and start his own business yet. To me it all seems quite hopeless and I worry that his career would take a big hit by moving to Holland. He's a workaholic, so it's super important to him.
We love living together, cuddling at night and waking up next to each other. It's all going really well between us, although of course the situation puts a lot of pressure on us. I feel like life is calling us into different directions. We've talked about breaking up, because it would make things much easier for both of us. But we don't want to. We really want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I just want what's best for him even if that doesn't include me.
I don't really have anyone else to talk to who understands long distance relationships. The people around us think we're crazy for making all these sacrifices to be together. How can I keep my hopes up, fight through the uncertainty of if and when we can ever be together , while being a loving and supportive girlfriend? The thought of going long distance again after having lived together is killing me. Has anyone of you been in a similar situation and has some uplifting our simply honest words for me? Does anyone have advice on how to make it through this?
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