Bit of a crisis!

[Tanja]

You should ask him to stop texting you, just ask him politely to leave you alone for a while since you have broken up. Tell him you need some time for yourself and you need to figure out what you want and clear your head, he should respect you enough to do that. If he won't, he's ovbiously just clinging on to you and doesn't want you to be with anyone else but him even though he's not willing to really be with you.

Don't let him mess with your head, be strong and don't reply to his texts, don't encourage him in any way to keep in touch with you, if you just keep ignoring his messages he should realise to give up and let you be.

[uk_girl]

Thanks Tanja

Found out yesterday that he's been really struggling of late.

For example, he's just stepped down from his 'leader' role at work as he hates it, so he's took a pay-cut. This, in turn will mean less money for himself as he has a mortgage/car/bills to pay for.

He told me he's bored of his life, bored of the way he lives, bored of work, bored of living as a youth when he's 33 years of age. He's bored of the pub, bored of drinking, bored of football, bored of everything.

He sounds really, really down and is going to the Lake District (about 45mins from where he lives) at the weekend to take some time out, get some fresh air and have time to himself.

Really worried about him. I said to him last night that "although we're no longer together, I still do care about you and think a lot about you, although they may not be mutual. They'll take a while to go away" and he came back and said that he still thinks about me, cares about me and misses me loads. Which upset me. Because he never used to say those words when we were together - why now? We'd have had a lot less arguments if he'd have expressed himself in that way before. Just really concerned about him and want him to be happy

Think I'll text him at 10:30-11ish to see if he's ok.

[MadMolly]

I think keeping in contact is a bad idea. This happened last time and I think he is just going to repeat the pattern again and again because he knows you will always be there for him. I don't think having a rough time in life is a good excuse for how he has been treating you. I'm not sure what you will do but stay strong! Don't forgive him until he actually deserves it!

[Tanja]

Maybe he's growing up and realising his life could be quite empty if there's no-one to share it with... But I wouldn't text him or contact him in anyway, it's up to him to come back to you now if that's what he really wants. If you keep texting/replying to him all the time he knows he has you on an emotional string and you have to break free from it, he could just be saying all kinds of things just to make you worry and think about him all the time.

I do think if you don't stop contacting him you'll soon start to slide back in to the old ways and he'll do the same, don't let things go back to the way the were before! I doubt he has changed in such a short period of time.

[uk_girl]

Right-o that's given me a different slant on it which is what I needed, thank you

He did say yesterday he was feeling a bit better so I'll leave it at that now as I'm worrying less.

Going to delete his number and texts so I'm not even tempted to check he's ok.

Can defo see where you're coming from though as at the minute I don't think I'm strong enough to say NO if he was to come crawling back. Even though I have a date in due course when I'm a bit further through the healing process lol

Cheers guys and gals, you're a great help.

[uk_girl]

Doing alright - I've not contacted him in almost 36hrs and have no intention of doing so. He didn't text me all yesterday either

He did, however, leave a post on my Facebook linking me to a news story involving someone he used to know - claiming he.d told me about the guy in question (I've no idea...think he might have just wantted to check I'm still around as I wasn't on FB last night!)

He'll text later to check where I am, I'm sure of it.

Feeling strangely positive about things at the minute though!!

[MadMolly]

Good on you! You'll feel so proud of yourself.

[Mio]

It's hard at the beggining but you can do it!!!

[uk_girl]

Damn right it's difficult. Stuck at home - bored and skint...now I would usually be texting or calling him to see if he is ok...

His friend texted me a bit today - I don't think he's told his friends we've broken up!!

[Andy]

Damn right it's difficult. Stuck at home - bored and skint...now I would usually be texting or calling him to see if he is ok...

His friend texted me a bit today - I don't think he's told his friends we've broken up!!

I have to say I'm not all that surprised... especially given that he showed his relationship status on Facebook again like he did... :S

[uk_girl]

Yeah that confused me too. He only hid it again a couple of days ago (think it was the evening of the 10th).

It's still hidden now, but he HASN'T cancelled the relationship.

I'm leaving it be until my family know! I have them on Facebook but would rather tell them in person than let them find out on that!

[Andy]

Yeah that confused me too. He only hid it again a couple of days ago (think it was the evening of the 10th).

It's still hidden now, but he HASN'T cancelled the relationship.

I'm leaving it be until my family know! I have them on Facebook but would rather tell them in person than let them find out on that!

I think that's best, Facebook is such an easy get-out for people to break that sort of news now!

[uk_girl]

I know! I found out my childhood friend of 20 years was engaged via Facebook! Though she is a bit of a geek

[Tanja]

Seems like you're doing well! Keep up the good work