I don't know what to do anymore...

[kronos]

Well hello there people!
I just want to get something off my chest.
I am also a bad writer so i hope you will understand.

I am Dutch and my LDR gf lives in Cyprus.
I was already following her on instagram for a year but i got to talk to her when she was streaming on twitch for like 10 viewers. I acted completely normal and that got het attention.This was like the 2nd week of may 2020.

So we talked and talked and became good friends and we also had deep conversations.June 21st 2020 i asked her if she wanted to be my LDR and she said yes.

But in the meantime my parents divorced and due to working almost 60hrs a week at work i got a mental breakdown wich made me sit at home for 5 weeks.A few weeks after a close friend committed suicide and my grandma died of cancer.

I always gave her good advice on things and i helped her A LOT with almost everything.She got me through all of this but she is way too busy with school so she barely got time to respond to me.We had a few days where we called each other for like 10 minutes or played games together.This is going on for 7 months now.

(The reason why she is so busy with school is because she is studying to go to UNI in Germany as a Computer Science student)

She does not want people to know about me because she has almost 8k followers on insta and she is afraid to lose those followers and she does not want me to come over because of her parents and because she is really busy with school (School through the day, in the evenings and saturdays)

She barely compliments me or tells me she loves me except when i give her stuff.She almost never tells me good night when she goes to sleep and never told me when she goes out with friends.

One time she was so busy with school that we almost went 2 weeks without talking and suddenly she texted me she misses me and she really loves me and stuff like that.

Now she is busy with a lot of projects and exams and stuff.(At least she tells me but i've seen her playing games often according to Discord)
She told me a few days ago that she wanted to get a toy for stress relief because she can not do sexual stuff since she is with me. (She is totally not sexually active but she wanted to try this... whatever lol)

I even mentioned her 3 times that if there is something up with her she could just tell me. (her feelings, no time to talk etc.) So i have an idea of what is going on.She said she is a really bad texter and barely talks to people online. Because one time she got really sad and texted me she wanted to kill herself because she was too stressed out and really sad. (I can not talk to her when she does not communicate with me about her struggles)I think that she sometimes forgets about me for a bit while being so busy.

Yesterday i told her i was feeling really sad about some things (private and relationship wise)
And i also suggested some things we can do together as a next step in our relationship like watch a movie, play games, normal call, video call or even tease each other and her response was:
[7:27 PM] No it's okay...
[7:27 PM] I'll think about it cause u know I barely play any games I have too many projects and tests. I understand tho. And I love u in the meantime u should try to focus on ur self and u should give ur self some love cause u truly deserve that.
[7:28 PM] I really mean that
[7:28 PM] I understand it's hard to work overtimes
[7:28 PM] But things in life are not always what we want them to be so unless u can find some other place where u like it for now it's all u got.

There are also some good things that happened like one saturday i woke up and she sent me snapchats of her saying that she loves me and that i looked cute in what i was wearing.Rarely she tells me she loves me, but when she does she does it in a really sweet way.

I think about her every day and i think about being with her every day and it stresses me out and makes me really really sad because i do truly love her and i know she loves me but the situation is just not ideal because i can not go see her for idk how long. (cried myself to sleep 4 days in a row now)

So as i said i'm a bad writer

So my question to you people is... Should i leave her or should i go silent for a few days and see what she does?

If you have futher questions about ANYTHING... Feel free to ask i'll be happy to answer everything.

[OhioJim]

I sounds like she is really busy with school and many projects. You should understand this. How close is she to graduation? Things can get really stressful at that time.

It sounds like you do have the start of something good, but she has just been too busy. She did say at one point that she loves you! Give her a little break and don't pressure her.

But keep in contact, expecting that she may be busy at the time. See if you can set up a schedule. She can't be busy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, so she should have some time once a week when you can spend quality time chatting.

[kronos]

Thanks for the tips! But should i also tell her i'm gonna give her some more space?

[OhioJim]

Thanks for the tips! But should i also tell her i'm gonna give her some more space?

That might be a good idea. But be sure to tell her that you know she is very busy and you want to support and encourage her in what she is doing. That you are there for her when she has time to talk.

[kronos]

That might be a good idea. But be sure to tell her that you know she is very busy and you want to support and encourage her in what she is doing. That you are there for her when she has time to talk.

I told her this:
Hey Pepsi, i'm sorry if i interrupt you but I wanted to say that i am so proud of you that you are fighting through this. I know its hard but remember that i will always stand by your side. I support and encourage you in what you are doing right now. I want to give u room to breathe and focus on your studies. Pls text me whenever you feel like talking, i love you so much. You are my power woman

[OhioJim]

Perfect, Kronos!

[vivid_idea]

I agree with OhioJim, that is a beautiful message to send to her. If she truly loves you then she will know that she wants to hang onto you! If she can't make space for you in her life atm, then it's up to her to negotiate the terms of the relationship with you, or you will probably have to let each other go.

It sounds like you are being very patient and caring towards her. I hope it works out the way that you want.