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18+ mature advice only. Long term LDR rambles. Gamer to lover

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    18+ mature advice only. Long term LDR rambles. Gamer to lover

    Hi,
    I am chating with this guy a gaming friend for a very long time. We were normal friends until i turned 22, him 30. The convo started getting innocent flirty, and we would confide to eachother about life. We are getting intimate but is not sure where it’ll take us. What are your advices on LDR ?What are your successful stories about gaming friend to lover ? I know this isn’t common, but if any- please share.

    Also- how do you know if a guy is serious online?

    Is sexual flirtations normal ?
    Is sexting normal ?

    Is it a red flag if he is with his gf, but has always thought of me ?? I never really flirted boldly. He has but i tread lightly. He knows how i feel.

    I adore him as a friend, always has. I do- admit, i do get charmed.

    But here is him:
    He feels troubled with his gf and is always on and off since. I am aware as a friend. He thinks of me often and pays a lot of attention to me for a long time even before him getting to know that girl.

    Now i know- he has always thought of me and i have been his ideal girl, sexually too. For a very long time since his confession. Maybe even earlier, we would never know. He always expresses his affection to me. In a friendly manner for a very long time.

    its been too intimate now, i dont know how to feel. If this is serious or, just to pass time because he loves my convos, company online, my appearance ??

    How does one usually feel in this circumstances if any ?

    I knew he has the hots for me for a longg time, but we never take it far because i draw a line. He didnt mind but would always want to talk to me. I enjoy his company since i knew him for so long-online.

    How do you know when it is okay to start seeing eachother??? - when he is single of course.
    But what signs do you start to want to give a LDR a try ???? Like, when you turn heads over heels ? I do want to visit- but i do not know about how he feels to visit me. He seems hesitant. Is this a red flag, that it is strictly virtual - that i am a mere sexual fantasy to him hence his treatment to me ??

    Edit: thats cool, but all gamers are creeps then. Because we were just gaming friends. And its normal to be gaming friends with people of different ages. It still is, but no flirts. Many guys online or offline are much more “creepy” than he is. As I said, everything was not creepy flirty until i was 22, the convo went for a different direction.

    I think childhood friends with age gaps does get like this. But yes - im not comfortabls with his advances while he is taken - thank you.

    No- i never send him nudes or flirty pics of myself. It is all one-way. But, Emotional affair- i’ll keep that in mind thanks

    Edit 2: Be honest - to some of you, youve flirted to a few people while single at the same time. Those who youve actually met - this is considered normal. Please dont make it so unusual because it is strictly online as of yet. But this point- cheating is cheating i will definitely take note of that. I never chatted online nor participated in physically chatting with a guy taken before.

    How those conversations flow with those who has participated in online dating ? I believe those stories are far more juicy than mine, in terms of flirtatious advances, strictly online and never met. I am quite curious. I read enough on here but no real honesty behind the scenes.

    If you ignore the age gap of when we began to know eachother, you wouldnt consider it creepy. And i dnt like the term “consensual adults”. Because deep down age doesnt matter. An 18 is still quite young yet- they are wild and crazy. When that happens, they get hurt. Or a mature age of 23- they get hurt. That is life- but why not teach them and not throw in that word “consensual adult”. I just like to throw in this opinion- so youd help stop anybody young, or old and remind people of red flags no matter the age and not use that term as an argument to ignore potential dangers. A 54yo can still come to dangers - scammers, and sexual exploitations. All age should be considered. Thank you for your advice though. I never realised how weird my story sounded until you guys.
    Last edited by Whatislove; April 11, 2021, 07:09 PM.

    #2
    I would say to take a deep breath, a step backward, and keep it casual.

    If he is virtually intimate with you, and still with his girlfriend, I would take that as a warning sign. Only if you know that you are the only one he flirts with should you proceed.

    Don't send him any "indecent" pictures of yourself. You don't know at this point what he will do with them.

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      #3
      You say , you have been freinds for 13 years or so and you are now 26 and him 34 , and you are now only being flirty and stuff , thats weird. i say hes bored in his relationship and you are an available source . I sound harsh, but he is actually having an « emotional « affair with you now . He has a girlfreind and you should not encourage him. I think a 21 years old chatting online with a 13 years old girl is creepy if im honest . However ,You are both consentual adults but i think he should make up his mind . You have probably know him longer than his girlfreind ? But if he is in a relationship then he should respect it . Im sorry,i really cant offer positive advice , my red flag themometor went high alert that you have been talking to him since you where 13 years old. Hes become virtualy sexual now with you . He sounds like hes been grooming you if im honest . Are you ok ? Please dont share any photos with him , i hope you havent in the past either . Im sorry to ask this , did your parents know you where freinds with this man when you where 13 years old ? I think for your own safety , avoid sexting and flirty behaviour . My gut tells me hes creepy, I dont know how experienced you are with men but i think you need to be careful . Which country are you from and where is he from ?

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        #4
        Maybe im overeacting on mom mode , but seriously a guy of 21 should not be chatting to 13 year old girls full stop. So i know you are older now, but i just had to say it He needs to stop flirting with you as he is having an “ emotional affair “ if hes doing it to his GF then you need to respect the woman code and stop . Emotional cheating is bad and if she finds out she will be devasted.
        Last edited by Jen72; April 11, 2021, 02:53 PM.

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          #5
          Lols im sorry you make it sounds so horrible. Yes we have an age gap. But gaming friends are different. I am not being “groom”. We play games. Talk about games. Theres no real friendship for a long time, but love chatting to him bevause he isnt a “creep” like other gaming friends. Yes it happens - but one remembers to stay safe always.

          All gaming friends talk to people of all ages. Again- about games. In your suggestive case- all gamers are creeps then.

          There are tons of people i play games with. Because i started to game when i was young. If i am “groomed” - let me mention that other “friends” are both female and male from varying ages.
          Oh - maybe im grooming others too lols. Nah - jokes aside, i still game and meet many different people. We dont stay friends long because they get weird.

          He hasnt been weird or “creepy” like others start to. So we remain friends.

          He only started flirty when i was 22. When we started talking about things other than games for the first time.

          “Emotional affair” - i will keep that in mind and actually, ignore him. Easy because i have always just thought of him as a “gaming friend”.

          Yes, emotionally i have a thing for him - but is not that deep yet so i was curious of a LDR when he breaksup.

          I was wondering of sexting since it is popular now. No- i do not actively engage in one myself. Would like honest advice or experience about online sexting behaviours which i believe is strange.

          “Gaming friend” - please be aware of this term because gamers usually never take the other person online deeply or seriously for those who is not a gamer............

          I think he believes otherwise, since we’ve known each other for so long ............??

          I wonder what is a red flag - because i cannot tell about online. So thank you guys - though, i believe some misunderstandings. Sorry about my wording.

          I prefer advice from nice gamers with LDR than non-gamers, because theyd understand how relationships starts - which i know happens.

          I think cheating overall is a red flag more than his age. Many single guys (not virtual) are creeps nowadays, worse than gaming friends. - just thought i should point that out to those who have daughters who go out a lot. Especially who have daughters who doll themselves up. They undoubt have already experienced creeper alert. Who knows- taken people might have already tried to engage in young girls previously when they are single and desperate. It happens. “Age doesnt matter” when girls turn 18 - because of this “consensual adult” tag. This is what is really creepy.

          I grew up much safer in my own home, enjoy my game time and much more reserve. Again - not groomed.

          Be honest - to some of you, youve flirted to a few people while single at the same time. Those who youve actually met - this is considered normal. Please dont make it so unusual because it is strictly online as of yet. But this point- cheating is cheating i will definitely take note of that. I never chatted online nor participated in physically chatting with a guy taken before - that i am aware of.

          How those conversations flow with those who has participated in online dating ? I believe those stories are far more juicy than mine, in terms of flirtatious advances, strictly online and never met. I am quite curious. I read enough on here but no real honesty behind the scenes.
          Last edited by Whatislove; April 11, 2021, 07:44 PM.

          Comment


            #6
            I don't know any thing about gaming , so i obviously misunderstand the culture. But my concern was just safety of online creeps. So afar as sexting goes , then id say if its between consensual adults its quite normal in a relationship .

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              #7
              Thank you. But i will still keep your warnings in mind
              Last edited by Whatislove; April 11, 2021, 07:42 PM.

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                #8
                Quite all right , just enjoy being a young person, listen to your instincts and have fun .

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