Struggling and need advice

[Manzana7]

Hello! 25m and dating 23f internationally. i’m new here and just need someone to talk to who has experience. we’ve been talking for a year and dating for 5 months. she’s been nothing short of amazing and we have made plans to visit one another in the near future.

So before dating we were just exchanging language and culture as I love spanish culture. she’s studying/working to become a Doctor and she’s been so inspiring to me as she’s super ambitious. after awhile we originally quit talking because I thought things had ran their course. after a week she messaged me saying she missed our friendship. after that we ended up becoming super close and she stated she’s catching feelings for me and I shared the same feelings. she said many times she thought I was alittle cold at times so I worked to break down walls for her, we only became closer once I opened up more. after a couple more months she stated that all she wanted a relationship and I wanted to hold off purely because I really cared and just wanted to wait for the right time. The day before her birthday we made it official and it was amazing from that point forward.

During the couple months we’ve been together my uncle had passed away and it caused me to be alittle distant. she called me out and just wanted to know why I was being distant. we talked, we bonded even deeper, and i’ve never been happier. we spent many nights up late texting and calling one another like normal couples.

Fast forward to now, she’s busier with work and i’m aware. I give her space when she needs it and i’m fine with that. just recently she had her first weekend off from work and I was excited for her to spend time with her friends. I knew she wouldn’t be able to talk to much so I let her text me when she could. Sunday would roll around and she was super distant. it seemed that she would ignore when i was trying to be cute with her so I gave it some time but eventually asked if everything was alright and if something changed between us. she said she’s stressed, overworked and under slept. she reassured me that her feelings were the same but that my insecurities bother her. All I really wanted was to know how her weekend was and some reassurance after her distance.

Since then, the conversations are when she decides and still offers minimal reassurance. the most reassuring statement came yesterday when she apologized for not being the best girlfriend and she was sorry about her being distant yet her attitude still seems dry.

I love her so I am willing to give her time, but it feels like she knows i’m suffering. I just miss the girl I fell inlove with and i’m conflicted whether to profess more of my feelings or give her more space. I don’t want to smother her and push her away but I need her to know that I love her and support her.

If this continues for too long then I feel like I will seriously lose myself in my thoughts. my heart thinks we have a real shot at love for the long haul but my heads creating scenarios where she’s withholding something or has fallen out of love.

Hopefully I can get some insight from people in here who have had success in their LDR and how they’ve dealt with rough patches. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Is she showing signs of red flags? please help me if you can

Thank you

[xxcazaxx]

This could possibly be more to do with being a doctor than being in a LDR. Im guessing that she hasn't long qualified as a doctor (given her age) which is stressful at the best of times but honestly during these covid times it is beyond bad. I am guessing that she barely even has time to go to the toilet during the day and will be coming home absolutely exhausted (having also probably had little time to eat and also leaving late). She will be physically and emotionally drained after each day at work which is worth remembering.

[Rezie]

I think in an LDR lack of communication becomes a bigger issue because it is all you have. We all have periods in our lives when we are not really feeling it due to stress, life, just general blegh. However, in close distance relationship it feels different cause there is the regular life around. So I'd say to just trust her and not over think it. If it prolongs it's time to talk about her feelings. Sometimes in my relationship I get the blergh and then my bf points it out and I start making more effort. It is so easy to get to the no communication zone when you are not feeling 100%