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Advice for a first timer- unsure

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    Advice for a first timer- unsure

    Cliff notes version, we are both in our mid 30's and met while I was on vacation in June. I have visited him one more time, as I had something work related in his area. We talk, Skype, text daily and all in all he is a great man, very attentive and caring ect.

    My question is I have a strange feeling and can not put on finger on it. When we first met we spoke briefly about his good friend (male)moving in with him for awhile. When I went to his town for work, I stayed at a hotel didn't know him well enough to even suggest staying at his place. We were inseparable when I was their and he ended up staying with me at the hotel, he said the roommate thing would just be awkward I can understand that. He never even took me to his house even going as far as a laundry mat to wash a few of his clothes. Odd, I was ok with it. Now, I have noticed we do not Skype if his roommate is home and only talk on the phone if he is outside when the roommate is there and then that is very rare if we talk and the roomate is around . Again this only happens when the roommate is there. When not, we talk usually twice a day, skyle a few days a week with texting through out the day and night.

    It seems like something is off to me but I don't want to jump to conclusions, I do want to ask him about this behavior not sure how. If its just something I'm making a mountain of then I don't want to ruin what we have but it seems strange to me. Wanted to get thoughts on this before I said anything.
    Thank you for any kind of advise!

    #2
    Seems a bit off. I would guess he's hiding something. But maybe not. I would just point blank ask him why you can't talk when the roommate is around. See if his answer sounds legit and go from there.



    Met online: 1/30/11
    Met in person: 5/30/12
    Second visit: 9/12/12
    Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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      #3
      Trust your instincts enough that you don't totally sweep this under the rug. Slowly bring it up from time to time, until you're comfortable enough to just straight-out ask what the deal is with the roommate. It could be a weird, but necessary, situation that he just isn't ready to explain to you yet, because of how new the relationship is, but after a little time passes, I think I'd push it a bit, especially if you still get a strange vibe.
      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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        #4
        Thank you both, I found it odd and just wanted to make sure it sounded off to someone else. It is a new relationship so it's still a bit odd to define everything. It maybe nothing but I would rather know sooner then later. Other then that he is wonderful and attentive.
        Thanks again

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          #5
          see if you can get him to define "a while" as far as how long the roomate will be there. He may be uncomfortable having a private conversation with the roomate being around. or it could be something more.
          everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

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