Is it me? Or is it normal and i'm being just silly?

[Only]

We have been long distance 6 months now. He is fabulous and amazing I have been fighting feeling insecure but its starting to feel like it consumes me at times and before I overreact to him I want to find out if Im making something from nothing. I have tried to explain this to him and he does not get it.
We talk once usually twice a day. Text which has been tapering off lately and Skype which also has been less lately. I think it has a lot to do with me trying to distance myself. He calls me on his way to work and his way home or on weekends when he is out running errands. I love talking to him but the feeling of I never get his full attention is starting to bother me. Why can't he talk to me at home, and just focus on me? Is that wrong to think that way? I feel like I'm only good enough when he can combine me into what he has going on. I feel like everything else gets his one on one attention but me.

Or am I just getting my feelings hurt over nothing? He is coming for a visit next month. I can't let it go until them the littlest things seem to cause these gaping situations and I'm at a loss. Help?

[rixue]

Why can't he talk to me at home, and just focus on me? Is that wrong to think that way?

Maybe you can try and set up a date night with him over Skype? It isn't wrong to want some one on one time with your SO. Sometimes life gets in the way and you cannot have as much time together as you would like. Talk to him about how you are feeling, that might help you with your feeling of insecurity.

[sewbama]

If that's what you are wanting, you should tell him. There's no need to make it a huge deal or think you are a bad person for it. If he's talking to you while he's driving, he probably isn't focused completely on you and I think you are right in feeling that way. That doesn't mean he doesn't like you or anything. But part of being in an LDR is communicating what you need as far as communication. So, if you want to talk to him when he's at home, tell him. Don't make a big deal of it, just say that you'd like to talk sometime while he's not busy. Maybe do a conversation at bedtime? Or, as rixue said, set up a skype date.

[Only]

Thank you yes I know we get busy. I have tried to talk to him about it but he just says sorry and he will do better. I just though of it this way, if we were dating in the same location it would be like him taking me out only to run errands with not take the time to "date" me. It sounds really selfish in a way but not, he goes out with his friends most weekends and this and that with them over the week. Which is fine but I feel I'm less important then everyone else he gives his free time too.
I think he might have some issues with relationships and I want out now if he can't even commit to calling me. He was the one that pushed for the relationship to happen and now its more like a convenience he can say Im in a relationship but he has almost no responsibility to it.
We are in our mid 30's. Starting to think LDR are not something I'm cut out for but I have never met someone like him.

[Moon]

Actually, I think this is pretty normal as your relationship progresses, because you just can't maintain the frantic puppy love pace you have in the beginning, you've got to get your normal life stuff done, you know? If my boyfriend and I tried spending the same amount of time talking as we did when our relationship was new, we'd probably be homeless and disowned by our loved ones by now It might seem like he's neglecting you, but I think what he's really doing is making sure he fits you in wherever possible, and that's not a bad thing.

We all want to think we're the most important thing in the world to our SO's, but let's face it, they do have other responsibilities that do have to be attended to, regardless of how much they love us. You can ignore a lot of it for awhile, and focus all your time on the budding relationship, but at some point, you've got to live the rest of your life too.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't let him know you're feeling this way though, then compromise on what will work for both of you. Good luck!

[Kiyama]

I just though of it this way, if we were dating in the same location it would be like him taking me out only to run errands with not take the time to "date" me

The thing is that you can't compare a ldr with a cdr with regard to that. When you're long distance everybody has their lives and sometimes you need to do something for yourself and relax when you're home. As Moon said, it's actually a good thing he's trying to squeeze you in whenever possible
Having said that of course you have the right for his undivided attention so as someone already suggested why not have a date night? Then you know at least once a week you get all the attention you want.

[ria sanchez]

just go with a flow.. stop being a selfish. trusting is a important.

[redapple]

I'd completely disagree with the above. Why should one person in the relationship not raise an issue with the other? It's kind of the point of a relationship that you can. Following will only lead to resentment and unhappiness.

Anyway... I think you need a Skype date! If he's busy you can't expect it too often but I think it'll help you feel closer and the times when he can only talk to you out and about you're going to mind it less. Good luck!!

[Tooki]

If he is a busy man, try and plan things ahead as much as possible.

[blankita719]

Can't really add anything more here other than to just reiterate the rest - that if you have a concern, you should say something. My SO & I are both workaholic single parents, so uninterrupted time is pretty rare. The one thing we push is a weekly "date night", where no matter what, we call each other and talk. We usually watch a show together, but not always. You'll probably have to remind him more than once if you need more communication. Don't get mad about it, just tell him what you need and see how you can compromise so that you can feel the attention you need from him, and he can feel comfortable giving it. For example, I know this season at work is his busiest, so I have to adjust my expectations on when he might be available. He works in retail management, so his hours are very long, and if he called me while he was running an errand, I'd be thrilled - because that means he is thinking about me It might not be much, but honey - in a LDR, the little things keep us running smooth