30+ It IS hard coming back home -- Miss him! :(

[Benni]

I've been back for 2 weeks. The first week I was fine since I was tired from the trip and jet-lagged, and things to catch up on.

But this past week has been so hard! I miss him so much. When we skype, I weep a little and he gets depressed because he misses me, too. We haven't skyped for 3 days hoping it will ease up. We talk on the phone every day but it's not as hard a s skypeing and seeing each other and wanting to be together again.

If I had the money, I would go back right now!! But, neither of us can afford it for several months. *sigh*

[Ahava]

Hugs! I can understand what you feel. Was it the first visit?
I think that is always the hardest from my own experience and also from what I've heard from others here.

[Benni]

Was it the first visit?

Yes it was. We are both so sad. I have days where I wish I could rob a bank (and get away with it) and go to him -- isn't that awful?!

[Ahava]

The thought of you robbing a bank made me laugh
I don't think it is awful at all.
But look on the bright side of things! We have someone to miss and who misses us
Wouldn't it be awful if we didn't miss them/or they didn't miss us!

[Benni]

You DO bring up a good point. I should be thinking the other way around -- what if that first meeting was a dud? I would've come home disappointed and lonely, even angry about all we'd put into getting to know each other for a year. I need to just shutup, huh?

[kattermole]

I know how you feel, lost count of the times I've had a little weep on Skype with my poor SO not really knowing how to make it better, and me wailing "YOU CANT ANYWAAAAY". It's a horrible feeling, BUT I always think of the alternative, which is not having him in my life at all, which is far more upsetting.

It takes a while to get back into your usual routine, and it's worse when you're not sure when you'll see them again, but you know that it's worth it to have him in your life and that's what you need to draw on to help you through. That and chocolate

[blankita719]

It is difficult to get back into normalcy after a visit. I'm at 2 and a half weeks post-visit, and I'm still adjusting. Really, the best thing to do is get yourself back in as normal of a routine as possible. Even though it won't feel normal at first, you will start feeling better. I miss my SO like crazy but it becomes more manageable every day that I'm trying to keep things as routine as possible.

[Benni]

I was back to my normal routine within a day or two. It's still hard. I did ok the past couple days, then I just now got off Skypeing with him and it hurts again. At least this time we tried to set a 'next time' date for my next visit so that helped. If I have a goal, something to countdown and look forward to, it helps a lot.

[srtd35]

My relationship started in Aug also and I have been 4 times and I have to say the leaving sucks!! The first time I left but every time I go back it gets harder and harder to leave. Almost so much that I get anxious about going thinking about how hard it is to leave. It does get easier for me after a few weeks especialy since I can typically look at the next time I will be going so then I start looking forward instead of back.

[Benni]

4 times since August? You are soooo lucky! We did set a date for my next visit. It will be for 10 days this time and trying for August 28 through Sept. 8. 131 days and counting!

[srtd35]

Yeah I was crazy and went the end of September and we had only known each other a little over a month. Thankfully it all worked out okay. He said he was knew he was in love the minute I walked off the plane...so sweet. It took me a little longer to confess it but I had an instant connection with him also. They screwed up my flight in Sept so I got free tickets and went right back in Oct b/c I couldn't stay away Then we had to go three months over the Holidays b/c of the kids and work. I went back in Jan for his bday and then again in April for Easter. I am going the end of May free b/c I have enough frequent flyer miles now!! Next time he is coming to see me. My ex has been a jerk about custody so that is why I have been going to see him b/c I don't want the two of them in the same state hopefully that will all be resolved by the summer and then he can start doing some of the traveling. Although I don't mind going there I love it except for the flight home.

[Benni]

Very cool!! I tried applying for a better credit card with frequent flyer miles but didn't qualify so I keep using my regular one. Would love to get one for the miles though!

[srtd35]

I fly united b/c it is a small airport and that is the only airline that flies there. They give frequent flyer miles without the credit card. I think some others do also. Also We are going to use the same frequent flyer number to buy my tickets and his so we can get free flights faster. I think he will probably end up moving here after the first of the year. You and a lot of others on this board are much stronger than me. I can't stand to not see him and if I had to wait more than 3 months I don't know what I would do... I know I would probably make it but it would be so hard!!

[Benni]

We have American airlines here, I'll have to check into their offers.
Yes, it takes lots of patience to have this kind of relationship and I DO have a lot of it indeed! Just knowing that I will see him again in a few months has lifted my spirits immensely!

[JoeyBug]

Glad to hear that you've booked/planned your next visit. Leaving is always the hardest part...and once you get back into your routine, and start to countdown the days, then the excitement will build up again and it won't be that you just left, it will be that you're soon going back...