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Leaving Tomorrow... Freaking Out...

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    30+ Leaving Tomorrow... Freaking Out...

    This is my first post here and my first "long distance" relationship. I have dated within the U.S. (short flight or less than 5 hour drive away), but never across water.

    Brief history: I met my guy at a Super Bowl party his family members were throwing. I actually went as a guest of a mutual friend of ours. From the time he walked through the door, there was a spark. Ironically, the friend who invited me to the Super Bowl Party expressed romantic interest in him, so I decided to back off and encourage them getting closer (they had interacted in years past). As the weeks progressed, we would all end up at the same functions and exchange pleasantries, and the more we talked the more I liked him, but knew I didn't have the freedom to pursue anything because of my friend who was interested. As fate would have it, we ended up at yet another function together WITHOUT the friend, and he explained to me that he was NOT interested in her romantically, and would like to go out. When I expressed discomfort with the situation (my friend being interested in him), he assured me that he would do anything he needed to clear up the situation so that we could go out.

    That was two weeks ago. Since our first date on 4/6, we have been practically inseparable. Though we both have busy schedules, we both make concessions to spend time together because we knew that he would be leaving the country tomorrow. I have been on the verge of tears all day.

    Here's the clincher: he's from the U.S. but works in Europe. He will be gone for 4 - 8 week intervals over the next 9 months or so. I'm totally terrified that this was just a fantasy two weeks and he will forget about me and have fun all over Europe (especially since I haven't given up the goods yet). He's assured me that he believes in monogamy and that this is going to be easier than I think. I just don't know.

    I don't know him well enough to trust or distrust him, so I am going with my gut which says that he is being totally honest with me.

    How do I handle this? Any suggestions on preventing the inevitable airport breakdown?

    #2
    Welcome to the forums

    As it is with most relationships, you have to be able to have some faith and trust in people. In the beginning, you go a lot on that trust, which is vital to the LDR. If he gives you a reason not to trust, then you have a new set of problems. But first you have to take the leap of faith.

    As for breaking down at the airport - the only time I haven't completely done so is when I've had my son with me It's ok to cry when they leave! You're going to miss him!

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      #3
      Well... the breakdown started last night. After dinner with his family, I completely lost it in the car... and he teared up too. We had a candid conversation about my fears (he had some of his own), and we are just going to take it one day, skype message, and love letter at a time. Part of me just wishes we would have had more time to spend one-on-one before he leaves, but I'm glad we got to know each other as friends first.

      Again, he was the perfect gentleman last night (which I'm kinda relieved about--it seems like he is going out of his way to make sure that I know it's beyond a physical attraction). We are making plans to meet in about 6 weeks (he will fly me over to Europe). One day and one tear at a time I guess...

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        #4
        Hi and welcome to LFAD.

        As blankita said, breaking down and crying at the airport is totally normal...and people do it even when they're not in an LDR...so try not to worry about that so much. So much of the beginnings on an LDR are about trust and if your gut is saying that he's being honest, then I'd go with that. And it seems that he is showing you that in his actions. I wish you the best of luck and tell you that you are among friends here who all know what you're going through!
        Joey & Scott
        Met: April 2002
        Lost Contact: August 2002
        Reconnected: April 2010
        Together: May 20th 2010






        [COLOR="#800080"]"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." Benjamin Franklin

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          #5
          Thanks.

          I am about to leave the office to head to his house to pick him up and take him to the airport. My whole body is shaking. My stomach is in knots, hands sweaty... I feel like a teenager. My mind is racing a million miles a minute. My biggest fear is that for some reason this is it (Sorry, my last long relationship ended with the guy totally dropping off the face of the earth after he lost his job). I know that's irrational, but I guess that old wound is creeping up.

          I'm going to try to relax and play it cool for as long as I can. I have kleenex and my sunglasses just in case. If I'm going to melt down, I might as well be cute doing it...

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by ZenZeta View Post
            Thanks.

            I am about to leave the office to head to his house to pick him up and take him to the airport. My whole body is shaking. My stomach is in knots, hands sweaty... I feel like a teenager. My mind is racing a million miles a minute. My biggest fear is that for some reason this is it (Sorry, my last long relationship ended with the guy totally dropping off the face of the earth after he lost his job). I know that's irrational, but I guess that old wound is creeping up.

            I'm going to try to relax and play it cool for as long as I can. I have kleenex and my sunglasses just in case. If I'm going to melt down, I might as well be cute doing it...
            Good Luck and I hope it all works out for the best! You can come back here for comfort once he's gone, we've all been there, we know how it feels!
            Joey & Scott
            Met: April 2002
            Lost Contact: August 2002
            Reconnected: April 2010
            Together: May 20th 2010






            [COLOR="#800080"]"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." Benjamin Franklin

            Comment

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