Found out he's cyber-cheating!

[lucybelle]

He always calls me on Friday nights at 10p. Instead, he left me this message ....

"No phone call tonight. Even in an internet relationship, I need some space same as I would in a real life situation. Later...."

An internet relationship?? What??? Fuck this shit. He's getting an email today. I'm done!

I'll get back to ya'll later.

Douchebag. You're doing the right thing!

[Benni]

I sent him the email. Here's some excerpts:

"You need space? Done. You are being very arrogant and disrespectful of my feelings, you have insulted me repeatedly this past week."

"An “internet relationship”?! I’ve been having a real life relationship with you. I think of us as a committed couple. Apparently you do not feel the same."

"But, you have shrugged off my feelings as inconsequential -- they don’t matter to you. You have basically told me to shut-up, stop feeling that way, and you are going to continue doing as you please no matter what."

"I will look into canceling the plane ticket and see if we can get any kind of refund. If we do, I’ll send your part to you. If we can’t, chalk it up as a learning experience to keep in mind for the future."

His reply:
"Keep the money. It's only half of the first (wonderful) trip anyway. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Da-da-BOOM!! Talk about short and sweet. It hasn't sunk in yet -- I am numb, in shock.

[Black_Halloween]

Good for you! You don't need somebody treating you that way at all.

[Louise_B]

It's only half of the first (wonderful) trip anyway. "

Call me stupid. (its been a long shift) but was is meant by that? 'Its only half of the first'

It hasn't sunk in yet -- I am numb, in shock

Big hugs Benni! Stay strong you are better off without. you deserve someone better.

[Ejoriah]

I assume he meant that the monetary amount was only half of what they had previously spent on a trip?

Anyway I think you're a strong woman Benni for doing this - I would have done the same too but probably would have been bawling my eyes out the whole time.

[TwoThree]

So sorry, Benni. Be strong

[mllebamako]

I sent him the email. Here's some excerpts:

"You need space? Done. You are being very arrogant and disrespectful of my feelings, you have insulted me repeatedly this past week."

"An “internet relationship”?! I’ve been having a real life relationship with you. I think of us as a committed couple. Apparently you do not feel the same."

"But, you have shrugged off my feelings as inconsequential -- they don’t matter to you. You have basically told me to shut-up, stop feeling that way, and you are going to continue doing as you please no matter what."

"I will look into canceling the plane ticket and see if we can get any kind of refund. If we do, I’ll send your part to you. If we can’t, chalk it up as a learning experience to keep in mind for the future."

His reply:
"Keep the money. It's only half of the first (wonderful) trip anyway. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Da-da-BOOM!! Talk about short and sweet. It hasn't sunk in yet -- I am numb, in shock.

I'm late to the thread but glad to see what you wrote to him. I am so sorry this happened to you and that things had to end on such a sour note. It is heartbreaking when you find out that someone doesn't care as much as you always believed they did.

Stay strong, Benni. You definitely made the right decision.

[Hollandia]

He must have done it because he wanted to get caught in a way. He might feel he wanted to break up and this was his way of doing it. I have to disagree, cyber sex is a violation of trust and since he is in an LDR with you, I am willing to bet he damn well knows it. Kick him to the curb if he did this. He is simply not the person you thought he was. What a jerk.

I am so very sorry for your pain.

[Benni]

I want to cry soooo bad but it hasn't hit me yet. Just got home and he's added a reply to the email:

"You want this to end? Make sure you are sure."

I don't WANT it to end!! I love him but I can't take that kind of treatment and I really don't think he'll change or even feel sorry what he's done!!

[hans]

I'm for you Benni to hear about this. We all want our relationships to last forever. But on the other hand if you - as of now - found out this guy is not true to you, i guess it's better to end right now. In a true relationship you don't want anyone to cheat like this. All the best to you, feeling sad because of what you have to deal with, i can imagine how you feel right now. But if it's not right, it woun't be better in the long run.

[Anoulie]

"Internet/Skype is only interactive TV to me."

"Even in an internet relationship, I need some space same as I would in a real life situation."

Sorry to say this, but to me it seems as if he's just using you... for entertainment. Like a hobby. Other people watch kitten videos online, he has a girlfriend online. It looks like he hasn't been taking this very seriously, to me Dump him, delete all his contacts, cry, then never look back. He's an a-hole. You deserve better.

[Hollandia]

I want to cry soooo bad but it hasn't hit me yet. Just got home and he's added a reply to the email:

"You want this to end? Make sure you are sure."

I don't WANT it to end!! I love him but I can't take that kind of treatment and I really don't think he'll change or even feel sorry what he's done!!

Benni.................I was in an abusive relationship or two myself. Trust me..... you are in one again.

Would you treat someone you loved like this?? Ever?

Run .............run fast.............run hard............run now..................run.

We cycle into these things and I am sorry but you are in a one now.
Get out and tell him to go fuc* himself for me. He is a lowly piece of shi# that does not deserve to be broken up with properly. He will only hurt you more, and he will enjoy doing so because he already lined up and has found his next victim.


Get Out!!!!

[Goyangi]

Don't give him any more time he clearly does not deserve. There's someone out there better for you. I'm so sorry that this has ended like this for you.

[Benni]

Than you all so much again! I replied to his "Are you sure........" with:

"You have already stated you refuse to be the man I need -- one who is faithful and loves only me. You said will not stop the cybersex with others and I can never trust you again. So there's no point to further discussion."

Now, I hope that ends this mess once and for all!

[kikidee]

You are a very smart woman! I know it is hard to break off what you had, but it obviously had to be done. Long distance relationships are STILL relationships, and he doesn't seem to think they are the same thing. While the pain will stay for a bit, you can move on and find someone worth your time. Glad you aren't desperate like others who are willing to throw their life away to be used. Hope you have better luck in the future, *hugs*