Any "over 40?" members?

[Kiwigirl316]

I'm 49 and he is 50.
Why do I feel like I am running out of quality time with him. We are still apart but tentatively planning my relocation to Ireland any Christmas. I so wish I had met him earlier. However it is the experiences we have individually experienced that allow us to be the people we are today.
This LDR is the hardest most emotional thing I have ever done. It ain't getting easier either.

[pammy]

Hello all, it is brilliant to have found this site, and this thread in particular.
I'm a separated, 47 year old mum of three, who has rekindled with my first love. When first we met I was 16 and he 20, and by happy accident I came across his name on Facebook last January, not knowing he had looked for me, nor knowing that he had always seen me as " the one who got away"
We have been inseparable ever since, messaging all day throughout the day when we can, face timing once or twice a day, and managing the most amazing intimacy of my life.
I've been back to my old home twice since last September, and that moment when I first spotted him standing there at the airport will rank as one of the highlights of my life. Kissing him again, as if 30 years just vanished.
No doubt in either of our minds that this is soul mate, best friend territory, and we plan to be married next year.
Thanks for letting me share, and I look forward to being a member of this obviously vibrant community.
Pam in Nova Scotia, Canada

[hans]

Hi. Happened to see this even though the original post was out long time ago. I have not been very active here for some time. But I'm like many other say here, well over 40 . I'm 55, divorced since 6 years now. My so is right now living in Fresno and I'm in Sweden, so I guess that qualifies at long distance....
Nice to see that many others here, thanks for sending this thread out.

[LeoJ]

I'm 49 in Southern California. I have 2 kids 16 and 13 so it is kind of hard to make plans to leave for Wales where my new LDL is. He is supposed to come visit in December but his funds are being drained by him helping his friends out all the time. His wife died in 2008 and I was getting a divorce(number 2) at the same time but we didn't know each other then. He is also considerably older than I and never had children with his deceased wife. She was also way younger than he was. Lucky for me he likes American ladies or I would have been out of luck I worry about his health a bit but I just want to live in the now. I feel really comfortable with him. He is a bit off his nut sometimes but it is a nice change sometimes lol. Would be nice if we could live together someday but not so sure of that right now. UK immigration is tough!

[Elizabeth123]

Welcome Leoj and Welcome back hans....wishing all the best to both of you in your separate LD relationships!

[sasad]

Hi there, I am 52. My SO is 44, so yup, I am officially a cougar! We had been fwb for last 2 years, but became official on May 17th. He lives in Florida now and I am in Va. One 10 year old child for me. Separated from my ex. My SO moved in February this past year so we split visits and are trying not to go longer than 3 months apart. He is my other half and we are pretty much opposites. We talk and text daily, Skype 2 times a week at least. Communication is key.

[Tanya2005]

I have been friends with my SO for almost three yrs and in a relationship for 6 mos we were two hours away from each other but since I moved we live an hr and twenty mins away now. Getting together is very hard I am the one with a vehicle and I do most of the visits and most of the calling feeling my relationship is one sided is very frustrating. We have about the same financial issues. I just feel that I make the most sacrifices. To make matter worse we haven't spoken in three days and I've called once and no answer so I am now refusing to call again because a relationship supposed to consist of two people trying. So today I join this forum to express my situation to people of the same situation with no judgements. I am 38 and my SO is 43. Freaking out and just think maybe I'm the only one that wants this relationship. UGH!

[Elizabeth123]

Welcome Tanya2005
communicate with your SO...best wishes yo you both
we all experience tough times and I think a relationship grows stronger for them

[Tanya2005]

Thanks Elizabeth 123. Well we talked and he decided that it was best to just be friends, and all I could do is agree. We will have to be friends as in "hello" if I see you though cause I really still love him but he never said he love me, just that he cares about me. So I can't do the calling him like a friend cause I will be hurting myself. He has a way to my heart and I would end up doing things like a girlfriend instead of just a friend so I told him he won't be hearing from me and he shouldn't try to contact me either. I feel ok though cause I know I gave the relationship all I could this was just not meant to be because he is not ready and I just can wait around. There's a love out there for me I'm not giving up on it. I just need a lil break. Good luck to all the LDR's. It can work if both people are willing to make sacrifices and compromises.

[Elizabeth123]

Tanya2005 - Always remember to love yourself and take time to enjoy your life, hobbies, friends, etc...all the best to you!

[Katherine]

Hello everyone and Happy Holidays!
It has been quite a while since I have been on the site. My long distance relationship has gone from ok to I believe ended. Well I did find a job that paid more and allowed me to work from home 100%. I could even work at my SOs home if I so chose to do so. He thought it was great. I worked with that organization for a year. During that year I never worked at my SOs home. In fact I never saw him during that year. We just talked on the phone. I repeatedly said to him that we needed to see each other and make a date. Every date or holiday that came up he had something going on with work. I tried to be patient because he asked me to be patient with him. This year was more of the same. Every time I planned for us to hook up, something from work would get in the way. This year he also turned 60 and I thought it would be great to spend his birthday together. I was even going to give him a really really nice watch for his birthday. I thought better about that and changed my mind. I ended up giving him really nice dog tags with an inscription. I am glad I only spent $100 rather than $900. Needless to say we didn't spend his birthday together which was in June. So every month I kept telling him that we needed to find time. He kept saying I know but he never followed through. In October he actually flew here for a few days. It was a nice visit even if he spent a great deal the first day on the phone and the second day he was so tired that he slept a lot. He was not very affectionate. Any affection that occurred was because I initiated it. Again it was nice to see him but I didn't get the since that he was thrilled to see me. I think in his mind he did it so he could say that he did spend time with me this year. This year I hosted Thanksgiving and I really wanted him to come. Yep you got it, he couldn't come because he had proposals to get done by the following Monday. So once again I was alone. He called and felt bad and knew I was extremely frustrated. So I then started working on the Christmas holidays. I asked him to check his calendar so I could make flight arrangements to come there. Everyday he promised he would. It never happened. The last time we spoke which was last Wednesday, he had called me. During the whole conversation he was fusing about one thing or another. It was not about us but slow drivers, or dropping something as he was going into the house, etc. I then told him about my day which he never responded to and is not unusual. So then I asked a question about something. He got sarcastic about my question which I asked only to get a conversation going. At that point I was frustrated and told him that I would let him go tend to his stuff and I would talk to him later. I think he was surprised by my statement and said ok. The next afternoon he sent me a text and said Hello. I sent a text back stating "Hello!". I have not heard from him since. In my mind it is over. I have tried and tried to make the relationship work and he has done very little. I am not a priority at all in his life. The priority is Work, kids, then me. The long distance just didn't work for me. It might have if I felt he really loved me and was making every effort to be together but he didn't. I want to be with someone and have fun. So unless he changes drastically, which I doubt, I am allowing myself to meet someone locally. By the way, I left the 100% telecommute job for a job locally. It was too lonely at home...I need to be around people. I just wish it could have worked because I do really love him.

[Elizabeth123]

Happy Holidays to you Katherine!

Remember to take care of yourself and enjoy meeting new people. You are correct - if he wanted to be in a relationship with you he would make the time. Yes, we are adults and schedules sometimes don't mesh. However...zero effort is not what you deserve..wishing you a better New Year!

[Elizabeth123]

Happy Holidays to you Katherine!

Ooppps double post....

[Katherine]

Yes, I have decided as much as I love him, it is time for me to move on. I sent him a text this morning just saying good morning and there was no reply. This just further confirms that I have to move on. The holidays will be very lonely this year because I am just not in a festive mood and will probably just work rather than take time off. Have a great holiday!

[Stellasman]

I am 54 yrs old