Gifts: Necessary or No?

[Laura024]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship? No. I think gifts are one of the small ways in life to show someone you care. There are other ways to show appreciation too.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter? Both.

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts? I think every once in awhile is fine. If gifts are given too much, it loses the specialness and can feel like almost a replacement for affection. This is coming from a girl who is not particularly fond of materialism though.

[NaNi]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
I don't need gifts. I do love them of course, but they are not necessary. (I'm still happy that my SO also likes to buy and receive things though. )

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
Both? We both love to send gifts to each other.

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
We send packages for birthdays, Christmas, stuff like that. We also include little things in our love letter day package.

[paulawriteslove]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
I don't think that gifts are necessary in a relationship. I think this because, you can't buy someone's love. I prefer spending time with people rather than getting a gift in the mail or something. But girts are always nice, they always put a smile on my face.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
In my relationship, I would say that it is equal. We only really give each other gifts on big events (Christmas, Valentine's Day, our yearly anniversary (not monthly))

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
I don't think there anyone should have a reason to give a gift.

[Rosebud]

Not really, I've just seen over the months I've been here people obsess over not getting gifts and that's basically what I'm asking: is it really necessary to do that? I'm not saying everyone does it or that gifts are bad. I'm asking a question as well as giving my opinion that I don't think it's a huge deal.

Perhaps, but I do think the way you worded your question and the way people are answering here to mean that gifts are all about materialism. That those who want gifts are 'stomping their feet' and essentially acting like spoiled little children when there is usually a much more significant meaning that is being dismissed.

[OwenXAbbey]

I agree with Rosebud on this one =) The question kinda feels like it was posed in a negative light to me.
I buy or give things to Christie often enough, and not because I feel like it's necessary, but because I'm constantly thinking of her.

[LadyMarchHare]

Perhaps, but I do think the way you worded your question and the way people are answering here to mean that gifts are all about materialism. That those who want gifts are 'stomping their feet' and essentially acting like spoiled little children when there is usually a much more significant meaning that is being dismissed.

Well if that's the way they wanna take it, that's on them. I also mentioned I wouldn't mind the gifts, I just don't throw hissy fits like I've seen people do. It's my prerogative and I realize it's not the best but it's merely an honest question, are gifts necessary. Not "do you think wanting gifts is a bad thing" or "should you demand them", just "are they necessary for you to be happy in the relationship". It's the internet, wording gets us all in trouble or provides less than lovely double meanings.

[LadyMarchHare]

I agree with Rosebud on this one =) The question kinda feels like it was posed in a negative light to me.
I buy or give things to Christie often enough, and not because I feel like it's necessary, but because I'm constantly thinking of her.

Well, it kinda is. My entire question is 'are gifts necessary for you to be happy in the relationship', not 'do you feel pressured to buy things for them'. It's merely an inquiry out of observation from those who DO feel getting things constantly or for every little thing or actually demand stuff makes their relationship better.

[Bluestars]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
They are not necessary, but they can be nice. I do not think whether or not you get or give gifts will determine whether or not your relationship will fail or not. I know that there are a lot of instances where a person only stays with a person because that person spoils them with gifts so that the person uses that to their advantage. In that case, it is anything but a healthy relationship imo.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
I used to be more of the giver, but as of lately, we both really do not focus on gifts that much, even though I have a package to send, I just haven't gotten around to it yet!

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
I think they should be given for birthdays, anniversaries, valentines day, and special holidays. That is more because of tradition, but I am not saying that it has to be something really expensive. I would be just as happy as spending the day together watching a movie or making dinner together. I actually prefer gifts that involve spending time together. If you do not have a lot of money, then you can just as easily make a creative present, which often show more thought and love.

That being said, I really enjoy getting gifts, and because of my twisted relationship with my father, I used to associate getting gifts with how much someone loves you. I think other people might have that problem as well. It has taken me time to get over, but it is something that I have had to work on since entering a relationship.

[OwenXAbbey]

Well, it kinda is. My entire question is 'are gifts necessary for you to be happy in the relationship'

Ah, well in that case, my answer is no. If there are really people who feel that way, that's very sad.
But when you think about it, there are a lot of things that aren't necessary in a relationship to make you happy, but they're still nice =)

[Rosebud]

Well if that's the way they wanna take it, that's on them. I also mentioned I wouldn't mind the gifts, I just don't throw hissy fits like I've seen people do. It's my prerogative and I realize it's not the best but it's merely an honest question, are gifts necessary. Not "do you think wanting gifts is a bad thing" or "should you demand them", just "are they necessary for you to be happy in the relationship". It's the internet, wording gets us all in trouble or provides less than lovely double meanings.

Well I apologize that I don't quite catch on to your all powerful sense of humor, but you're right in that is it the internet and words should be chosen carefully given how easily they are to misinterpret. Not to mention that this is a discussion in which I am allowed to bring up that your initial question is scewed in favor of those who don't prefer gifts and painting everyone who does with the same broad brush of wanting so out of materialistic needs. I also have had my fair share of surfing the forums and I've never seen anyone come close to throwing any sort of temper tantrum that their SO does not send them more things. Often times if someone is exasperated it's because of the meaning behind those gifts which I think is key here, not, 'omg, my boyfriend doesn't spend enough money on me!'

[Caitlin2009]

Perhaps, but I do think the way you worded your question and the way people are answering here to mean that gifts are all about materialism. That those who want gifts are 'stomping their feet' and essentially acting like spoiled little children when there is usually a much more significant meaning that is being dismissed.

not really, i knew what she meant and i think other people knew that as well

[LadyMarchHare]

Well I apologize that I don't quite catch on to your all powerful sense of humor, but you're right in that is it the internet and words should be chosen carefully given how easily they are to misinterpret. Not to mention that this is a discussion in which I am allowed to bring up that your initial question is scewed in favor of those who don't prefer gifts and painting everyone who does with the same broad brush of wanting so out of materialistic needs. I also have had my fair share of surfing the forums and I've never seen anyone come close to throwing any sort of temper tantrum that their SO does not send them more things. Often times if someone is exasperated it's because of the meaning behind those gifts which I think is key here, not, 'omg, my boyfriend doesn't spend enough money on me!'

You took it the way you took it, I'm not held responsible for your POV just as someone I believed was throwing a fit is not responsible for what very well could be the wrong impression. It's a matter of miscommunication which happens frequently on the internet. Everyone interprets things differently and I'm sorry you feel I'm being biased, hostile, whatever it is I'm coming across as to you with an innocent question. But really there are users here I feel just want something, not caring the meaning. They want a gift because they believe it makes it better, to them. Am I completely right in that assumption? No. But it's what sparked my initial question.

[solleftea]

I don't think gifts are necessary but it does keep the happiness alive in the relationship. Like "Aw, how sweet of you". It's nice to receive something once in awhile. Me and my SO equally give small things to each other.

[mattheww65]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
Its not really 'necessary' but I know my girlfriend appreciates and likes getting them. I don't think our relationship would be any the worse if I didn't send gifts, I just like doing it and its nice to have something 'physical'... something you can touch to reinforce the LDR, especially being so far away.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
I'm usually the giver. I think it falls into the standard 'dating' thing that the guy buys stuff for the girl....

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
I send things when I find something that I think she'll like. Never anything expensive. Like I sent her a photo album full of photo's after my last visit, when she was stressing out about time and organising stuff I personalised a calendar with photo's of us and wrote her timetable on it (she hasn't received that one yet so shhhhhh!), and I sent her a DVD of her favourite show (dexter) of the episodes she hadn't watched when she said she missed them...
Just little things, nothing expensive, but stuff to show i'm thinking about her

[elina]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
No, I don't think they're necessary and I'm pretty sure we'd be perfectly happy without them but I think they do add a nice touch to the relationship. Now I'm not a spend-all-your-money-on-me kind of girl in no way, I love everything he buys me of course and don't ask him to return them >_> but I don't need him buying stuff. "Gifts" for me can be something you've made yourself or if you plan a trip for us and stuff too, and I love getting stuff he's made himself.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
I'd say I'm both.. He's the one who buys me more stuff I guess, and I make more stuff myself than buy.

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
"Should" be given.. well I won't get upset if I don't get gifts.. but I love getting them As to when they could be given.. birthday, Christmas and anniversary, I think. Or if you just feel like surprising your SO Still talking about made/planned stuff too here.
I guess we haven't given each other loads of gifts so far. He bought me this beaaaaautiful necklace last year and a few other cute things, I've bought him a few things and we both have made a few things for each other. Apparently he'd planned a load of stuff for us for the last time I was meant to go to England (was meant to be there on our 1-year anniversary) but I had to cancel and it still breaks my heart.. that he couldn't do any of it.

He's told me he's got something for me when I go there in two weeks can't wait to see what it is ♥