How long have you been in an LDR?

[BlackCherryJam]

We've also been in a LDR since the beginning... Tomorrow it will be 8 months.

I'm a student and I can't stand the idea that I would have to complete my studies before I can move in with him! I know what you guys are going through and that's one reason I love this forum! Apart spending my time in here I just try to talk with my BF about it. That makes it a little bit easier.

[Sharmarine]

He and I met over 3 years ago, were together for a year, then broke up. After about a year, we reunited once again, and that lasted for a few months, before it ended once again (both ended on my part). But as we realised that eachother is who we both truly want, we have reunited once more, and have no intention of breaking apart again. So I guess it could be said, that he and I have been together off and on, for over 3 years. All online by the way, as he resides in Philadelphia US and myself in Western Australia, so we have yet to meet, but are both working towards changing that

[LadyMarchHare]

Been in this relationship for near 8 months now, haven't met and don't know when we will. I plan to end the distance before we're together a year and a half but we'll see how it goes.

Me, I never wanted a relationship period. He's had LDRs before and told me he hates them but where he is all the girls are not right for him and he just seems to find more intelligent ones online. We've known each other almost 8 years, online obviously. It's rather funny how 6 1/2 years of crushes on one another and no one saying a word exploded into this one cold February morning.

[Andy]

I know what you mean. I've known Tanja almost 3 years (it's 2 years and 11 months today actually ) and we've been together for over 2 years now officially. Hopefully we'd be ending the distance next summer, but maybe not, that all boils down to me and what I decide to do with regards to a job/career (no pressure there then... )

The reality is that it could go on for another 2 years yet, maybe more, maybe less, we just don't know at this stage because it's all so up in the air...

I'd just rather know one way or the other in all honesty. I could deal with it a lot better if I was told we'll be together next week, or 5 years down the line, at least I'd know and I could plan my life around knowing. I think I could handle the distance fairly ok provided we got to see each other as often as we have done since our first isit, which is being optimistic shall we say... but yet again, we just don't know when it comes to how often we'd see each other either

So as frustrating as it is being apart, I find it infinitely more frustrating not knowing when the distance will end. I'll be a much happier man when I know that

[Talent_2]

Have you contacted an agency that could help you consolidate? Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey? These are all excellent resources. Also, if you are comfortable sharing with a complete stranger, I do budgets for people all the time and since I feel your pain, I'm more than willing to help for free. Totally up to you, either way, check out what Dave Ramsey has to say.

I'm also a newbie, been in an LDR 1 month and 1 week. Will be CD no later than June 2011.

Thanks for the offer, its really sweet of you!
I actually have a spreadsheet which i have each month broken down into weeks(as i get paid weekly) so i can visually spilt my bills over the month and pay extra here and there where possible. I also have two notebooks which my dad got me to do one in which i have a list of what bills i have each month and tick them off as i pay them and a second notebook in which i write down exactly what i have paid, its taken me a while but im slowly getting on top of my finances, its just sooooo slow!

Ive looked into consolidating my debts but seem to only find ones that will blacklist me and if i want to ever get my own place with my SO then i really dont want to be blacklisted.

Never heard of dave ramsey so will have a look Thank you

[Talent_2]

I've been in my LDR from the start, and it's been almost 13 months. Since I'm US and my boy's Australian, we don't have a choice, and I feel you about money - that's one of our top concerns as well.

Even though I put I'm planning to close the distance this May in my link, there's a chance that could be delayed based on a lot of factors. Right now, my boy and I are visiting for two months, but after that he has to get a job, get his driver's license (it's crazy hard to get a license in Australia), and I need to be able to save up enough money to live there for a year living off of it and a part-time job. AND we'll need to do all of that setting up life stuff, so if I don't have enough money... well, it's getting delayed. Also, if I get this really good paying job I applied for, we've decided to delay a bit longer so we can both save money for our future.

I wanted to tell you that I think your plan to get out of debt before you get together is a good one, but don't be afraid to bend it a little if it's going to be too long. I think if you commit to getting it paid off, and you want to on your money, that's good, and very responsible. That sort of mindset will help you and give your relationship a strong base to live off with each other. However, with 5 years... is there a chance you moving with him would end up saving you money because you could share bills and possibly get a better paying job elsewhere? Something to consider - there are many ways to get to your goal of debt free, especially if you aren't planning on getting married right away - you could get it paid off faster.

Some tips, as someone who recently became debtfree:

1) If you eat out, don't. Preplan ahead with all of your food for the week and buy at the grocery store.
2) Overtime or a second job is good, but consider finding a new job that simply pays more.
3) Sell everything. You'd be surprised what you can sell, and you want move with your SO anyways, so lightening your stuff could be a smart start!
4) Try cancelling cable or extra things like that you may have at home. Use the internet for TV, library for books, and so on. It's worth it.
5) Do give yourself some space in your budget for some fun money, but be conscientious about the amount.

I hope that wasn't too intrusive, and it's helpful in some way for you!

Hey thank you for the advice.

I didnt think it was too intrusive at all. just wanted to answer some of your questions

Moving in with him may make it a little cheaper rent wise as we both live at home and my dad only charges me £30 a week so not masses really.

He lives in Cornwall which is very difficult to get an all year round job there especially if you dont drive!! and although i have plenty of qualifications, i have been in the bingo industry for nearly 7 years so it would mean a complete career change and also a risk of only ever getting summer jobs.

Another reason to hold back for a bit is so that i can pay some debts so i can afford to learn to drive so that i can get a decent all year round job

1) If you eat out, don't. Preplan ahead with all of your food for the week and buy at the grocery store.
- This is something i do mainly because i work long hours, so i either eat at work (for free )and occasionally order takeaway as my dad never has food in the house except his lunch stuff for work too (very odd i know but my 18yo unemployed brother sits at home allday playing xbox eating all the good stuff so easier for my dad to just not buy it)

2) Overtime or a second job is good, but consider finding a new job that simply pays more.
- I do a lot of overtime as the supervisor of the cash office with only 2 full timers (includes me) and 1 part-timer any sickness or holiday is covered by me. Unfortunately finding a better paid job is proving difficult as im already the highest paid in the company i cant even get a promotion either )

3) Sell everything. You'd be surprised what you can sell, and you want move with your SO anyways, so lightening your stuff could be a smart start!
- I thought of this i even contacted places like cash converters for prices on dvds i dont want anymore and was offended by what they offered me, maybe i should look into setting up an ebay selling account??? any other suggestions of places to sell?

4) Try cancelling cable or extra things like that you may have at home. Use the internet for TV, library for books, and so on. It's worth it.
- Not really an issue for me my dad pays the cable and internet, and the only extra i ever really wanted for myself was gym membership but i have put that on hold for now

5) Do give yourself some space in your budget for some fun money, but be conscientious about the amount.
- I try and put aside enough money to go out with friends once a week (usually £20) to go to lunch or something

From what ive written its probably hard to see where im in debt but in my previous relationship (lasted 9 years) my ex was self employed and i run up credit cards and loans helping him out, in hindsight it was a really bad idea but at the time i was helping the man i was with so didnt see anything wrong with it.

Now at the age of 25 i am getting my life back on track

Thanks again

[faith5x5nomore]

Exactly one month tonight... I didn't realize it until just now so of course i'm crying. We were saying our goodbyes and I watched him pull out of my driveway at this exact time !!! I miss him so much ...

[Dauntedpoet]

It will be 4 years October 26th.

[hissouthernbelle]

I have been in a LDR from the very beginning. its been about 10 months, but thats loving a military man!

[DarkSolitary]

Always have been in an LDR. I've known him for 2 years and we've been dating for a year and a half. We haven't met yet though

[TristenLove]

Mic and I were somewhat LD even though we were in the same state. But an hour long drive one way made it difficult to see each other for more than a weekend. We did that for about 2 months and then I lived with him for 2 months, and then he was sent to Guam and has been there for 2 1/2 months. It's been 60 days since we last saw each other.

I'm having a really hard time dealing with it the last couple days. The time difference combined with our work schedules makes it difficult to talk, and no matter how far out or early we plan my visit it will cost almost $2000 for a plane ticket alone.

[alx5150]

Yet to meet... just over 5 months. We spent an average of like 5 hours a day talking to each other... do the math ^_^ <3 her

[grayson]

I have been in my LDR for over 2 1/2 years. It will be 3 years February 10, 2011. But we've known each other and been on and off for 14 years. I am kind of in the same boat, though I have kids and cant move so easily without giving them up, or fighting a horrible, and expensive court battle. But my divorce created a lot of financial issues for me as well, and it is going to take a few years to clear up.

[Veronica]

Me and my so dated for about 2 months before we both parted to our respective countries, then we agreed on a LDR and we knew it was gonna take about 5-6 years before we could be together. We see each other twice a year for about 2 months, its already been 3 years in june 2010 and we have at least 3 more to go till i finish uni. We are so in love, as we were when we started. We are a strong couple and i know we are gonna make it I wish everyone here the best! we can so deal with the distance

[noodle]

6 months and the soonest we could end the distance is in 2 years when he finishes college. And that also only if he moves to Germany which probably won't happen...