I think I will join the general consensus and say both.... depends on what is happening and the situation...though it would solve a few things if she were around :P
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Your LDR - exciting or painful?
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Originally posted by KyleTheMan View PostPainful. Extremely painful. Beyond anything i've ever felt.
I'm a man and i'm at the point where i'm crying at night at least 3 times a week. Haha, but you know what body builders say! "Pain is weakness leaving the body"! Bring it on!
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It's an adventure!! Sure, it gets painful sometimes, but the distance makes the time we see each other so much better. After a month of us being apart, I spontaneously packed a bag, took a bus to the Greyhound and drove up to see him!! It was my first time traveling alone, and I was terrified, but it was so much fun and one of those living in the moment type things that it was so worth it. He raved on about it for days, saying me spontaneously coming to see him was the best thing he could have imagined, and we had the best weekend ever. It was so relieving after the pain of long distance finally settling in, and gave us both new hope that this is going to work out.
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Ask me anytime within the first week after we finish a visit, and I'd say it feels like I'm being ripped right down the center of my being and having my most essential pieces pulled away from me... I no longer feel like a whole person, and there is pain in all the torn places.
BUT... outside of that week of recovery/readjustment, my SO and I have reached a very comfortable place in our relationship, and I spend 90-95% of the time in pure excited amazement that I've found this guy and that we're working on building a life together. I think about what we have and it just feels GOOD. I do have moments where I miss him very sharply and would give anything to put my arms around him, but for the most part I'm truly okay with the distance, and am accepting of it- much credit goes to him & all the little things he does to help me feel close to him.
However, if I didn't know that our plan to end the distance was well underway, I'd have a much harder time accepting it, and it would be far more painful- I'd be a mess, and in fact I WAS a mess until we got our plans in place. I do NOT do well with unknowns.We collided and fell out of nothingness... scattering stars like dust
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"However, if I didn't know that our plan to end the distance was well underway, I'd have a much harder time accepting it, and it would be far more painful- I'd be a mess, and in fact I WAS a mess until we got our plans in place. I do NOT do well with unknowns."
I think you do need to plan well ahead in a LDR to be honest...You can't be succesful in it if you don't know what you want out of it and where you want to be. Unknowns frighten me too, I need organisation, I need plans and decisions.
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Unfortunately, I'd say mostly painful. Of course I have good days - even great days - but he's always on my mind.... and generally, coming home to my dorm and opening the door to an empty room gets to me every single time..
If I've had an uninspiring, awful day there's nothing I'd rather do than hurry home, grab my man and just curl up in bed with my fingers buried in his hair, sniff his tshirt and just hide from the world.
In stead I sometimes end up hiding in my room, taking a nap not even bothering with dinner..
The weather's not really helping either -_- stupid Danish winter.. it's getting considerably colder, the leaves have already fallen from the trees and it's so dark in the mornings!! I need my 6'4" living hot water bottle! Give!
But - I'm trying to make the most of it! I'm lucky! I'm surrounded by such sweet people and days spent within the specific field of art that I love..
And I look forward to our weekly skype dates, our 1-2 messages sent throughout the day, and when he's put up new pictures on facebook.
I guess the pessimist is missing her optimist ♥♥
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There's definitely still an excitement element in our relationship since it just started, and we are still getting to know each other. But we are both hating the distance, so its painful at the same time. I would say its about 70% exciting and 30% painful. It has turned into a lot more excitement since we met this last weekend though, we have new things to talk about and it feels like our conversations have been rejuvenated.
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Guess I'm gonna have to say.. mostly painful too. I loooove the times we get to see each other more than anything and those times are always exciting but.. like now.. it's 6 days until I see him and I'm dying. Will "only" be a bit over two months that we've been apart but god.. this sure can be real agony sometimes. Really hope we'll be able to close the distance next summer. That hope makes this less painful than it would be if we had nooo idea when we'd be able to even consider closing it.
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It's pretty much only painful at this point, especially now that he's moved back home with his parents. Dealing with his parents, his father who uses not seeing me as a threat and his mother who doesn't even know about me at all, my own parents (alright, my dad is enthusiastic but my mom sees very much wishing I'd get over this LDR thing already), school which both of us are sort of floundering in as we lack definite career goals, figuring out money (from his overly stressful job) to afford to make trips to see each other, almost no phone time, VERY limited privacy on his end...and that's not all of it. The excitement has worn off, especially since we've been together for over a year, have met and now have to sort of figure out, Ok, now what do we do? Imo there's nothing very adventurous about being in a relationship with someone thousands of miles away, just a lot of heartache from lonliness.
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For me it was more exciting than painful. Sure, it was inconvenient at times having an ocean in the way and all, but that was just how it was, we enjoyed our time together online and the challenge of closing the distance.Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person
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I always think my LDR is an exciting adventure but there is just some days i truly think my LDR is a pain in the butt and i wish i lived closer to my bf. I know all these tears, headaches, stressful fights, etc will be so much worth it in the end. I love my bf and wouldn't want to be in an LDR with anyone else :]
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Torturous and painful the majority of the time. The only time I am excited is when I am nearing a visit with him. It has been 10 days since our last visit, and we usually see each other every 2-3 weeks. Well, due to his schedule, it looks as though we won't be keeping up the every 3 week plan. I have never went that long without seeing him, so it's painful for me right now since I miss him more and more each time. I know I shouldn't complain since people on here have to wait much longer than me. Plus, he has been hunting all week and I have had no contact with him due to being in the mountains with no reception. I just feel like he's always super busy and all I have is time to worry about missing him. It's not fun at the moment even though there's nobody else I'd rather spend my time missing and planning the future with. So, it is painful but worth it!
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