Your LDR - exciting or painful?

[blankita719]

Mostly painful, but there can be adventures as well. LDR's are a roller coaster. There's the highs of seeing each other, being together, getting love notes or text messages when you need them, and there's the lows of sitting home alone and missing the other person so much you just cry. Then when you think you've got the ride all figured out, there's a twist that turns you upside down and you're freaked out all over again

[NikkiP]

It's definitely both. Especially since we are still at a point where we are constantly learning new things about each other. There are just times where no matter what he says or how he makes me giggle that the missing him and the ache of wanting his arms wrapped around me just won't go away.

[Bluestars]

I have to go with both. The beginning of our relationship was so very exciting. I guess a lot of that can be attributed to "falling in love." But as far as the LDR aspect of it goes, in the beginning of our relationship I used send my SO tons of stuff in the mail, and that was really exciting to do! He would do the same and I would be so happy when I would get something in the mail. Now, that has died down, and we do not do that near as often. It just isn't as exciting anymore and I do not get as many creative ideas--plus we are both really busy and strapped on cash. When we first started dating, we also had so much to talk about and learn about one another. We could talk for hours at time and never get bored. That went away after around six months because by then we knew everything about one another. I tried spicing things up by using the 1000 questions on here, but even that gets old after a while and we have answered most of the interesting questions anyway. Now, we talk on the phone a lot less often. That is not necessarily bad because we are both busy and there is just not as much to talk about as there was before. My SO also finds phone sex a lot less exciting than it used to be, and because our schedules never match up, we do not do that as much either.

All of that combined with the fact that we are seeing each other a lot less than in the past, and this LDR is very painful! We both deal with the distance differently, but we both have a hard time dealing with it sometimes--and it has threatened to tear us apart on many occasions. There are days that I question whether we can make it through this, and I will sink into a depression for a few days. Then I snap myself out of it and remind myself that this is a challenge that we will overcome and that we are doing it for a reason.

There is excitement though! Whenever we set a date for a visit, that automatically gives me something to look forward to. For the past month, I have been counting down until Fall Break, and when this past Thursday arrived, I was so happy! Every time we see each other again, I get a fuzzy feeling inside and remember why this is worth it.

The distance also gives us the opportunity to go on many adventures we wouldn't do otherwise. My SO took us to Disney this past summer for a visit, and our visit was our little vacation. It also makes us appreciate the time we spend together. We always try doing new things when we are together, and we have a list of things we want to do. We have gone hiking, been to the zoo, watched a play together, visited several art museums, been to the water park, gone to two concerts together, watched a meteor shower and saw a shooting star, danced at a night club, visited the Renaissance Festival, and done so much more! We have made plenty of memories that I will always cherish

[Dauntedpoet]

NOW its pure excitement and adventure!
BUT the first 8 years where I was in love with him, and he with me, but we refused to be in an LDR, were god awful torture! Not being able to 'claim him' and not 'belonging to him' was so incredibly painful for us both, as we both had to go on and try and make a life without the other and failed miserably over and over! We were only happy and excited when we were together online or together during a visit. WE WERE TOTAL IDIOTS! We both down played the abject misery when we talked to each other, since talking about it wouldn't change the fact that we lived so far apart, and couldn't be in a relationship. LOL

Once I realized we HAD been in and LDR for 8 years, with EVERY aspect successfully navigated except the sex, (talk about IDIOTS!) and I pointed that out to him, he agreed we were both being plonkers, and asked me to be his. (MINE MINE MINE MINE were the exact words)

That day it was as if the weight of the world dropped off my shoulders, and I stopped crying for him, because I can feel him wrapped around me, even just this second as I think of how wonderful the last 4 years have been compared to the 8 before that!

[5000miles]

I agree with the general opinion that it's both. It's exciting because of the differences compared to CD relationships and it's also painful because of the difference compared to CD relationships. It takes a special person to be in a long tern LDR. Go us!

[Dauntedpoet]

It takes a special person to be in a long tern LDR. Go us!

COMPLETELY AGREE!

[bluepotato1236]

I will say its painful.especially that we cant meet regularly. We only met once and that was 9months ago..With his working schedule now, it is hard for us to talk online and be on cam..so yeah, now it is more painful than excitement. Probably things will get better in January coz he will back to normal working hours. I hope so..*crossed fingers*

[Èternity]

So far it's been really exciting. At the moment, on our first visit, it's extra exciting but I know that the down is on its way when i go home on Sunday. Still it's been one of the greatest adventures of my life.

[elina]

It takes a special person to be in a long tern LDR. Go us!

Haa, that made me giggle Have to agree, we're all just.. awesome

[NickyDoll]

They're both. When we can be together it's an adventure and we have so much to catch up on and things we can do together that we can't apart (like go on an actual date!) But when we are apart it is absolutely horrible! I have dreams of quitting my job, packing up my car with all that it will hold and just going to be with him. Unfortunately, even if I did that it would not be smart. I still have yet to go to college, I don't have much money and my SO lives with his dad, stepmother and brother. It would be a little awkward to share a room with him and his brother :/

[DarkSolitary]

It's both. Right now for me it's kinda painful :/

[Aimee Squeeze]

It's exciting because I cannot wait to be back with my guy! I've never been so excited to see some one ever! But its painful because im hating every second away from him! He's my best friend, and I'm so lost without him! and the most painful thing is i feel like Im smothering him, I want to talk to him all the time, and he needs some space! Does anyone have any advice on dealing with missing him? Because I dont want to push him away! we only have 65 more days to go and i cant even find a word for how much i want him to be there

[Katrina]

First off, I infinitely prefer an LDR to not having a relationship with Patrick at all. But very rarely is it exciting for either of us. The build-up to visits is enjoyable, as is getting to travel, and that first time I see him in person after months apart, but most of the time I spend with this feeling like something's missing from my life - it can be while I'm grocery shopping, taking notes in class, or just watching a movie that I'll think, "What's missing? Oh, Patrick isn't here to see/do/hear this." It's wonderful knowing there's someone out there who loves me as much as he does, but it's absolutely heartbreaking not being able to spend time together like other couples my age who are doing homework and going to movies together, or even just cuddling and watching TV. I go through these horrible bouts of paranoia and frustration sometimes. But like I said, it's worth it to be with him.

[junnah]

It is really painful for me. Being far away from him is killing me! God I miss him so much....

[DemonxOisin]

You know, although it is painful, and there are some nights where I just want to cry myself to sleep from missing him, for the most part, it is an adventure
Being in an LDR, you need to be constantly looking for new and more creative ways to show your love. It helps pass the time, searching websites like LFAD for such ideas, and making those ideas real. Also, you learn to appreciate the little things so much more! Just hearing his voice has the ability to brighten my day, it doesn't matter what he says. And never even mind our reunions! Also, as a couple, we take extra care to always remember to remind each other how much we mean to each other. We certainly don't take each other for granted!
So it is an adventure that has both ups and downs, and I think it's worth it