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    His mom is really getting on my nerves..

    Okay, I'll try not to rant too much.

    In a nutshell, his mom has absolutely no respect.

    Today while him and his mom were at church, she was annoying him. He was trying to pay attention to the priest and his mom kept like bugging him by trying to make him look at these girls that were apparently "checking him out". He of course tried to ignore his mom and just pay attention but she kept like tapping his shoulder and making him look at the girls which of course pissed him off because 1) He has a girlfriend (me) and she knows it and 2) He was trying to pay attention and he could tell the girls had absolutely no interest in him (even if they did he wouldn't care). This isn't the first time she has tried to get him interested in girls nearby. He tells her to knock it off but she does it anyways. I can't send her an email and ask her to knock it off because it wouldn't make a difference and she would just get mad at my SO. She's very very stubborn. Also I refuse to have contact with her anymore because she's a hypocrite and is disrespectful. Theres many more issues i have with her but if i laid out all the issues i have with her you guys would have too much to read. Funny thing is? She doesn't even know me. At all. She just knows me as her sons non-catholic girlfriend that is older than him by one year that lives in a different state. Doesn't say much about me does it? :/ I've tried to open up to her so she can get to know me better but it has failed. Twice. I'm tired of her crap. And so is he.




    First Met Online: May 08
    Became a Couple: 4.11.09
    First Visit: 7.27.11 - 8.11.11
    Second Visit: 9.15.12 - 9.23.12
    Third Visit: 7.6.13 - 7.14.13

    #2
    First off, Church is not a place to "pick up chicks" and she knows this. That's disrespectful to him, his beliefs, and those girls because she doesn't know what they're thinking any more than the man on the moon. Though I will say I know what he's going through as my mom pulls similar stunts by trying to make me admit strangers are cute and tries making me hang out with a guy we both know likes me. I'm sorry she's being such a big hairy bitch about the relationship over a few readily overlooked minute details instead of getting to know you as a person. Hopefully in time she'll grow up.

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      #3
      I'm religiously offended, have some respect at church and to the priest who has sacrificed so much to spread the word of God. Besides, the poor guy has taken a vow to celibacy, it's a kick in the balls to make your son pick up random women at church in front of him. Considering she doesn't like that you're not Catholic, I'm guessing she claims to be religious. She should be just as offended at her own behavior.

      Not really much you can do. Just look at the bright side, one more year and then he's a legal adult, our of high school, and can get out of the house and start his life. She keeps pulling this on him and she can lose her son by her behavior. I remember my mom would try something similar, but her reasoning was different. She thinks that when you're young, you shouldn't be tied down to one person. She kept trying to get me to date other people casually. Eventually I ended up freaking her out when I told her I was thinking about moving in with Enrique. She immediately stopped and just let me be exclusive with him. Considering I've been with him for over two years now and we're both happy, it should be a pretty good indicator that we know what we're going. Now she forbids me from cheating on him xD. She loves him like a son.

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        #4
        Originally posted by Darth_Taco View Post
        I'm religiously offended, have some respect at church and to the priest who has sacrificed so much to spread the word of God. Besides, the poor guy has taken a vow to celibacy, it's a kick in the balls to make your son pick up random women at church in front of him. Considering she doesn't like that you're not Catholic, I'm guessing she claims to be religious. She should be just as offended at her own behavior.

        Not really much you can do. Just look at the bright side, one more year and then he's a legal adult, our of high school, and can get out of the house and start his life. She keeps pulling this on him and she can lose her son by her behavior. I remember my mom would try something similar, but her reasoning was different. She thinks that when you're young, you shouldn't be tied down to one person. She kept trying to get me to date other people casually. Eventually I ended up freaking her out when I told her I was thinking about moving in with Enrique. She immediately stopped and just let me be exclusive with him. Considering I've been with him for over two years now and we're both happy, it should be a pretty good indicator that we know what we're going. Now she forbids me from cheating on him xD. She loves him like a son.
        Yeah, I know theres not much I can do. I just needed to get it off my chest XD

        The irony of this all is she is the most religious out of her immediate family and she sat there in church trying to get him to pick up chicks? I mean, really? Have some respect for the other church goers and the priest :/

        7 more months till he is freaking away from her @_@ All I know is when he is ready to move out, it won't be pretty between him and his mom.




        First Met Online: May 08
        Became a Couple: 4.11.09
        First Visit: 7.27.11 - 8.11.11
        Second Visit: 9.15.12 - 9.23.12
        Third Visit: 7.6.13 - 7.14.13

        Comment


          #5
          Thats so childish! My mum used to do that to >_> I got pissed off immediately and wouldnt talk to her untill she stops lol I basically refused to talk to my parents in general cause at some point they'd start makin fun of my SO and me

          I guess its just their way to keep their child away from a LDR... I think parents would like to see their childs boyfriend/girlfriend around some time, maybe cause its easier to controll them, I mean like doesnt matter if its in the sexual way or just simply bein able to protect the child if something happens. (Maybe the parents on here can explain that a little better or correct me lol)

          For my SOs parents/mother called me a hooker and sexual predator and all she knew about me is that I live in Germany lol

          Did she ever saw you on cam? If not maybe try talk to her I mean just a "hi how are you mam" is fine.
          My mom always got in when I was camin with Chris and after a while she noticed that he's not that evil lol She always waves and says Hi to him now and stuff
          Once even talked to him how she has to go to work now and stuff xD it was embarassing tho cause my moms english is well... its alright but with such a massive accent lol
          but yea

          Maybe try to show her that you exist and that you are who you claim to be (no 40 year old predator etc).
          If she still doesnt accept that I guess ignoring and playin it off cool is the easiest way to do it :/

          Hope she'll stop soon and accept you two

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by noodle View Post
            Thats so childish! My mum used to do that to >_> I got pissed off immediately and wouldnt talk to her untill she stops lol I basically refused to talk to my parents in general cause at some point they'd start makin fun of my SO and me

            I guess its just their way to keep their child away from a LDR... I think parents would like to see their childs boyfriend/girlfriend around some time, maybe cause its easier to controll them, I mean like doesnt matter if its in the sexual way or just simply bein able to protect the child if something happens. (Maybe the parents on here can explain that a little better or correct me lol)

            For my SOs parents/mother called me a hooker and sexual predator and all she knew about me is that I live in Germany lol

            Did she ever saw you on cam? If not maybe try talk to her I mean just a "hi how are you mam" is fine.
            My mom always got in when I was camin with Chris and after a while she noticed that he's not that evil lol She always waves and says Hi to him now and stuff
            Once even talked to him how she has to go to work now and stuff xD it was embarassing tho cause my moms english is well... its alright but with such a massive accent lol
            but yea

            Maybe try to show her that you exist and that you are who you claim to be (no 40 year old predator etc).
            If she still doesnt accept that I guess ignoring and playin it off cool is the easiest way to do it :/

            Hope she'll stop soon and accept you two
            I hope so too x_x I have tried getting in contact with her but failed miserably because she won't try to get to know me. I'm half tempted to write like a little bio of me and send it to her so that she will be at least aware of how I am. It's kinda hard though because she isn't very proficient in english :/ Right now, I'm probably just gonna kinda stay in the shadows and not try to get involved with her...




            First Met Online: May 08
            Became a Couple: 4.11.09
            First Visit: 7.27.11 - 8.11.11
            Second Visit: 9.15.12 - 9.23.12
            Third Visit: 7.6.13 - 7.14.13

            Comment


              #7
              What she was doing in church was completely unacceptable and disrespectful on so many levels that I'm absolutely galled. It sounds to me like he needs to start setting boundaries and finding ways to mitigate damage with his mother. I would recommend also that he start reading up on toxic relationships, because there are many very good books on the subject which may help him set boundaries and help smooth the way he and his mother communicate.

              My ex MIL was almost as bad as that, and when my husband and I divorced, knowing I'd never have to deal with her craziness was such a relief it made up for most of the divorce's heartache.


              LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

              Comment


                #8
                Personally, I think that his mom doesn't want to accept the fact that her son is in a long distance relationship. But I have a question for you, have you met his mom in person? I don't think that you two should have such a bad relationship and not even know each other in person. This is because when you two do meet it will be incredibly awkward and you don't want to have such a bad relationship with your SO's mom for ever (because he is your SO's mom and will always be his mom and nothing will ever change that). She shouldn't be acting the way she is but don't let it get to you and try to be nice to her. Hope this helps!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Silviar View Post
                  What she was doing in church was completely unacceptable and disrespectful on so many levels that I'm absolutely galled. It sounds to me like he needs to start setting boundaries and finding ways to mitigate damage with his mother. I would recommend also that he start reading up on toxic relationships, because there are many very good books on the subject which may help him set boundaries and help smooth the way he and his mother communicate.

                  My ex MIL was almost as bad as that, and when my husband and I divorced, knowing I'd never have to deal with her craziness was such a relief it made up for most of the divorce's heartache.
                  I've been trying to get him to set boundaries and he has tried but it doesn't work. His mother doesn't listen to him and never changes. She's very very stubborn. I will though recommend him to read books on toxic relationships. He's only got 7 more months under her control.




                  First Met Online: May 08
                  Became a Couple: 4.11.09
                  First Visit: 7.27.11 - 8.11.11
                  Second Visit: 9.15.12 - 9.23.12
                  Third Visit: 7.6.13 - 7.14.13

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by DarkSolitary View Post
                    I've been trying to get him to set boundaries and he has tried but it doesn't work. His mother doesn't listen to him and never changes. She's very very stubborn. I will though recommend him to read books on toxic relationships. He's only got 7 more months under her control.
                    And it's VERY hard to set boundaries with someone you're living with, someone you have to see every day regardless of if you want to. Once he moves out it will be easier but I think for now he has to bite the bullet and yeah, read up on toxic relationships. Because even if after he moves out she acts like this, he may have to cut her out of a major portion of his life just to regain some sanity regardless of your relationship. Question though, is she this bad with him about any other subject beyond your relationship? It would seem to me if she's picking fights over this then she'd have a history of controlling/nitpicky behavior.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by LadyMarchHare View Post
                      And it's VERY hard to set boundaries with someone you're living with, someone you have to see every day regardless of if you want to. Once he moves out it will be easier but I think for now he has to bite the bullet and yeah, read up on toxic relationships. Because even if after he moves out she acts like this, he may have to cut her out of a major portion of his life just to regain some sanity regardless of your relationship. Question though, is she this bad with him about any other subject beyond your relationship? It would seem to me if she's picking fights over this then she'd have a history of controlling/nitpicky behavior.
                      She's controlling in other aspects too. She also plays favorites. He has a sister that's about 13-14 years old and both of his parents prefer her over him. Like, basically she gets whatever she wants when she wants it no questions asked while he barely gets anything. He got absolutely nothing for his birthday ( I wouldve sent him something but its complicated :/ ) while his sister got a shit ton of stuff. Back in middle school, he got okay grades but was allowed on the computer about as much as he wants but over time she restricted him on it till he got better grades which is understandable but he's got A's and B's now and is only allowed on weekends EVEN though she said she would lessen the restriction if he got good grades. He's not allowed to go to his best friends house. Some slight little thing will set her off and he gets the brunt of it. She has called him: worthless, stupid, loser, idiot, good for nothing, etc... She won't let him visit because I'm 18 and for the same reason I'm not allowed to visit, his sister gets more allowance than he does... theres other things too but I can't think of them.




                      First Met Online: May 08
                      Became a Couple: 4.11.09
                      First Visit: 7.27.11 - 8.11.11
                      Second Visit: 9.15.12 - 9.23.12
                      Third Visit: 7.6.13 - 7.14.13

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