I don't mean to be a downer, but I'm having one of those nights. Some days are really harder than others and I cant talk to anybody else in my immediate circle since they dont understand the long distance thing and the overwelming emotions that go with it. How do I put it? I MISS HIM SOMETHING AWFUL! I miss the little things, like holding his hand and just looking at him. It's his birthday today and it kills me that I cant be there to celebrate it with him. I sometimes think it was much easier when he was in Iraq, because I knew in my mind that there was no possibe way that we could be together cause he was protecting my right to be free and now that he's back and only a couple thousand miles away it kills me that I cant just jump in my car or jump on a plane whenever I feel like it because we both have to work and save up enough money to help me close the distance, otherwise i'd be there every other weekend. I've tried to keep myself occupied so I dont think about missing him that much but it never seems to work. I sometimes think it would just be easier to end it with him so it doesnt hurt, but then i realise, i'd rather be unhappy with him living so far than unhappy without him if that makes any sense. And then one of my cowokers from work asked me to go out with him, and though I was flattered, all i kept thinking was I wish it was D in front of me asking me out on a date. And so again, i'm stuck at home on a sunday night since all my friends are with their SO's who only live a hop, skip or jump away. I just miss him and it sucks!
Sorry for the rant :-(
Sorry for the rant :-(
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