Needs advice..big time.

[girl_inlove]

So he lives in america, goes to parties, returns to call me on skype and tell me how much he loves me..
we have never argued and i trust (trusted) him completely..
a mutual friend of ours said to me last night
"what kind of relationship are you in when you dont know what your boyfriend is doing at night while you sleep, he told me he went to a girls party and she had asked him to go into her bedroom, and when he asked why, she said she wanted to kiss him, and he told me he had to go, afterall it was her birthday"
i havent had chance to talk it through with my boyfriend yet, but i dont know what to say or do.. should i let it go? try and forget about it?
all day i cant get it out of my head.. im completely lost and i feel betrayed..
HELPPPPPPPP.

[LadyMarchHare]

Well, first off I personally don't find it a big deal if I don't know where my guy is every night even if I know he's at a bar. Second, how trustworthy is this mutual friend? It seems to me if they were there/knew about it, they would have already read him the riot act about it and made him tell you himself instead of letting it happen and then tattling.

Basically if there's ANY chance this happened, you need to talk to your guy ASAP and ask him about the party and that 'a source' explained aforementioned situation to you. If he denies it (which he might) then tell him if it did happen, how you feel about it and what will happen if he does it again (aka if you'll leave him, cut contact for a while, etc, whatever you feel you need to do) that silly excuses are as valid as saying he had to be naked just because the guy three blocks away was naked. Makes no sense, is what I'm saying.

Hopefully the situation was just a fib made up by this friend, but it still needs addressing lest it be something he thinks he can get by with. Because really if you want a kiss for your birthday, you don't NEED to be in a bedroom.

[Caidsys]

I would talk to your boyfriend first for one unless the mutual friend was directly involved I seriously doubt she'd know what was going on. I mean yes it does sound suspicious, but could of easily been a misunderstanding since it's just something someone who wasn't even there is saying. I was at a party a couple years ago. (I'm too boring for that now.) And a girl wanted to make out with me when I was still seeing my now ex girlfriend. I followed her in her room, but I never kissed her I just explained I had a girlfriend already and that I would of told her while we were out with the rest of the party but I didn't want to be rude/embarrass her. It was completely innocent and I told my girlfriend at the time that night so if anyone there did think that I was anything other then a gentlemen she wouldn't have to worry.

While there are a lot of cheating pricks out there there are also plenty of gentlemen and guys that just like to act a certain way in front of friends, so really it would be best to talk to him about it preferably in a calm reasonable manner and see what actually happened. Rather then just going by what someone else said especially since that person sounds like she's a bit jealous of your relationship/trust in him.

[nicole]

if it's bothering you, I would ask him. But I wouldn't be confrontational about it. You don't know what happened afterall, the friend might have got his/her wires crossed, or your SO might not have done anything. Just ask him to explain the whole situation, before jumping to conclusions.

He might not have done anything to break your trust, but you have to think of what you want. If he did kiss this girl (btw- I don't care if it was her birthday, he shouldn't be doing stuff like that when he is a relationship- that is a poor excuse), do you want to make things work, or is the trust gone and irreparable? it's up to you on that I'm afraid.

*Hugs* it is awful when you can't contact them straight away, it gives you time to go over so many scenarios in you head which probably haven't happened. Just be reasonable, ask him, and take it from there. I hope that helps x

[Karringtyn]

It's all in the WAY you approach him. Does it need to be addressed? Certainly. In a confrontational way? No.
Keep the lines of communication open. It is what makes this work.

[paulawriteslove]

It's all in the WAY you approach him. Does it need to be addressed? Certainly. In a confrontational way? No.
Keep the lines of communication open. It is what makes this work.

I completely agree with Karringtyn! You should approach it in a way that you feel will be the best. Try to stay calm and talk it thorugh

[Caitlin2009]

defiantly talk to him first, i dont like to believe other people who might be telling you that to break you two up