Update on my life

[Frank]

Hello Tim. I am glad to hear that your tumor is treatable, and not malignant.

That is crazy about your Grandpa. I do not understand why people do not buckle up. Yes, it can be uncomfortable, but you get used to it. There are even sleeves to put on the belt that would give you more padding.
That was fortunate that the company in Detroit offered you a job. They are so hard to come by now-a-days. But silly of them to not help you in the Visa process. Do you want to work in Detroit because that is what you really want?

My first impression about your situation with Jess is that you have to really figure out what you want now. Maybe if you decide that you want to be in a relationship with her again you should just tell her instead of wondering.

It seems like the is a lot of bad going on right now, is there anything good going on?

[SoFarAway]

Hey Frank,

thanks for the words. My grandpa started doing that crap a couple of months ago. He just gets old and very stubborn. I asked him for a real reason, and he told me that he didn't want to follow rules that he doesn't understand.

Other than that, no! There is not really anything good happening in my life. Irony is hitting my face every day (see job offer but no work authorization, etc.). The only thing is that my dog loves me, but that's the most sympathy I get from anyone here. I can really say that I am truly unhappy with where I am today. Reading through the LFAD comments is nice and give me some perspective. And maybe someday soon things will get better. People say staying and thinking positive is the key to success, but how can one maintain positive thoughts??? Oh god, I should stop ranting now... I can truly say that things have changed.

[Bluestars]

I don't know how exactly to answer your question, as I go through periods of pessimism and optimism periodically. I can say though that having a positive attitude can make all of the difference in the world! When you look on the bright side, you tend to attract good things, and you also become satisfied with life. For example, if you get really down about finding not finding a job, then you might quit trying and miss a wonderful opportunity. However, if you stay positive and look every day for a job, then an employer might notice your good attitude.

I think the first step to thinking more positive is realizing how lucky you are and listing out the things that you DO have. For example, you have a dog that I am sure keeps you company. I am jealous because I have always wanted one! You also have food to eat and a place to live. Realize that there are other people who are in a lot worse situation than you are.

Another way is to find spirituality in the world around you (that sounds kind of weird, especially coming from an agnostic, but I don't know how else to explain it). Whenever I feel down, going for a walk and just relaxing always tends to make me feel so much better! I also try to appreciate nature in general. Try going outside of your norm and doing something fun. Do what you have always wanted to do but never had. Try to enjoy life every single day.

Hope everything will work out!

[Mio]

Sorry Tim!!! Sometimes when something goes wrong then everything goes wrong too!But keep it out, after every storm the sun comes out! Take care and see you around!

[lunamea]

To answer your question, Luna. Marriage is a touchy subject because Jess is a very traditional Catholic girl who wants her independence and does not want to get married because of just keeping me in the country. That conversation almost tore us apart and ended our relationship very early... oh well.

Oh, I understand. I had already suspected that it is a much bigger deal for (one of) you than it was/is for me... I agree that it's not the perfect reason to get married, but having watched my parents quarreling for most of my life, I guess I have a very somber view on marriage. Friends of mine (who are not married because it's not at all popular for young people in Austria) always ask me what it's like to be married... to me, there's no difference between living together in a committed relationship and being married. To me, the feelings are what count, not the ring or the certificate. That's just my opinion, though. I'm sorry this is not an option for you.

Staying positive really is hard and I don't have any advice on how to do it, because I've never gone through something like this and wouldn't know how to deal with it myself. I'm glad you have your dog to keep you company... I love animals, they are great friends. I also miss our cat (who's home with my husband) very much.
I guess the only thing you can do is to set yourself goals, have an idea of where you want to go or what you want to do. Good things usually happen when you least expect them to.