Decisions, Decisions

[Zephii]

Ok... then why study at all? I don't get it.

[sahljbs]

Ok... then why study at all? I don't get it.

lol.. Good question :P My main reason for including that perspective is that there would be no way humanly possible for my SO and I to be together if I don't move closer. He's unable to with finances and he's attending Bible college and community college, as well as a full time job in which he has full job security, trying to save for a new car (his is falling apart right and left), and saving up for a house. So I would definitely not want to put the pressure on him to move away when I'm capable. That's basically the only reason college is one of my options.

[Zephii]

Well, that kinda makes it a big waste of money doesn't it? I mean I don't know where you are or what the cost of education is there, but I imagine it isn't free.

[sahljbs]

No, not free Fortunately though, it's not too expensive either. Tuition, room, board, and food combined is a total of about $3000 a semester I do agree it would be somewhat of a waste of money but it would be worth it. Either way I'll be spending about $500 a month as is (whether I go for the apartment or college) so it's really just which route I'd like to take. Both options cost roughly the same amount of money.

[Zephii]

mmm, but one option allows for you to earn more than you spend, where the other is just debt.

[Čternity]

er I may be wrong here but I've not known many people who were worse off for having got a tertiary education. I've known plenty who are worse off and regret stopping their education too soon because their spouse wanted them to be a homemaker after marriage.

Some of my friends who are stay at home moms have bachelor and masters degrees. Many are stay at home moms who, with their level of education help their children with their homework by tutoring them (you should see the level of maths these days O.O), helping with the huge projects they have to do etc etc.

They are the ones who volunteer on school executive committees or help manage their kids sporting clubs all because they have the skills from their degrees. These wonderful women and men contribute in ways that I can't, because I work full time, and it benefits my kids and theirs. Tertiary education isn't always about a career.

Make a very careful considered decision, which I'm sure you will do. This type of decision puts in place a plan for the rest of your life.

[Zephii]

Čternity - well said. I never even thunk of it.

[squiddie]

Agreeing with Eternity.

I mean, my friend's majors are human development (specifically child and teen development) and psychology. She wants to be a stay at home mom once she has kids...but think of how well equipped she'll be for that, with the extensive knowledge she obtained in those areas.

[Bluestars]

I WANT to be a housewife. I dont WANT a career. I WANT to raise a family.. I've grown up this way. I babysit children who aren't my own on a daily basis and am like a mother to them. I know it's not all what it's "cracked up" to be. It's hard, but I WANT that as much as my SO does.. Which is why I'm so fine with my SO preferring I not have a full-out career.

I understand the different opinions on the educational opportunities. I apologize I didn't include all the details in my original post. You see, my parents are very conservative Christians, and have always brought me up to attend Christian colleges. Now I didn't always listen. I had looked into and planned on going to a community college near my SO that had everything I was looking for. But after looking into prices, and details, and comparing what branch of study would be most beneficial to me, I came to the conclusion that community college just isn't for me. We all have our preferences, right?

I also realize that if things were to go south, as many do, that I would be left "high and dry". You see, the thing is.. That's not going to happen. I can guarantee. I know, many of you think I must be extremely immature, don't know reality from a dream world, and have no true view of what life really is like. Believe me, I do. I know IF things were to go sour, I would be screwed. But they aren't going to. Laugh at me, or tell me how stupid I am for saying that, or tell me how immature I am for thinking so. You can throw all the slander you want at me, I really don't mind it.. I just know, the love my SO and I share is forever. We're promised to each other and have been so for a couple months now. In 11 months of knowing each other, we have only once had a true "fight" in which we took a step back, discussed it, understood each others' view, and worked to resolve it rationally. My SO and I have a bond not many people do. I understand if many people don't really grasp that, and I sincerely apologize if I sound disrespectful as I do not intend to sound that way.

Any further input would be greatly appreciated. And I do very much appreciate every word of input received thus far

I understand that you want to be a housewife, do not get me wrong. I do not see anything wrong with that. Maybe it is just me, but I think it is a bit immature (or rather a bit naive) to say that you are certain that you will be together...say twenty years from now. People do not plan on breaking up. Things happen and people change.

My dad left my mom after eighteen years of marriage. Did she think it was going to happen when she was twenty and they got married? NO! She could have gone back to school when she was married but my dad would not let her, and she never got a degree. When he left her, she had nothing! We did not have a home of our own for 4 years because we could not afford one. Instead, our family members were kind enough to let us stay with them. She went to tech school and found a job, but making $12 an hour is not enough to support three people. Luckily, my dad paid child support (although he never did more than he had too and he was a horrible father), but a lot of men do not pay child support!

I only tell you this because reading this makes me really upset because my mother has taught me since day one that an education is crucial. You can say that you will be together forever, and I used to think that about my boyfriend and I too, but now I realize that no one can know. You can want to be together forever, but there are no guarantees.

As others have already suggested, I think you should go for your education. As you admitted yourself, there isn't a point in going to a school that is not acredited, so it would be a waste of money imo. Also, do you have scholarships? Paying $3,000 dollars for an entire semester of school seems like a bit of a scam if you are not including your parents helping you out or scholarships. My tuition, board, and room at a public school in my state costs over $11,000, and religious schools, which have to be private, cost a lot more....

You said that your SO is going to a community college, so why couldn't you take a class or two there as well? Why even go after a four year degree if you do not want one? Tech schools have short programs you can take to learn a trade that can get you a job right away. You can do training to work at a hospital and make a good bit of money. If you are planning on supporting yourself when you move, working on only minimum wage sucks. I know I couldn't support myself with the job I had this summer.

Like I mentioned before, I think wanting to be a homemaker is admirable, but if you have the opportunity to further your education, then you should take it because it is a lot harder to go back when you are older and you might regret it in the future.

[mllebamako]

I'm sorry if I came off as attacking you. The reason that I asked it you wrote this:

One thing I might want to add is that my SO doesn't really want me having a "career".. We're both very family-oriented and he only wants me to work after we're married if we MUST have that income to live relatively comfortably. Prior to marriage, however, he doesn't mind me working. Just doesn't really want me to have a full-out career

You didn't even mention what YOU wanted there. It was only what he wanted. So that is why I brought it up.

I guess I am confused about what you want still. I just don't know what to say anymore. I'm out.

[amb85]

I don't think anyone is doubting that you two will be together forever but you need to prepare for the unexpected. you never know what could happen, god forbid something happen to him and then what would you do? I think it would be a good idea to look at the situation without him in the picture eventhough I'm sure you guys will be together forever. No matter what it is, it has to be what you want for yourself.