Open Relationships, Your Opinion/Experience?

[twolips28]

Like everyone else said open relationships dont work. Whats the point in being a relationship with someone if your going to sleep around. A romantic relationship to me only exists between 2 people. When you love someone you only do things for/with that one person. To wait to have sex with your partner shows self control and true love. If my partner cant wait till we are together then the relationship ends. I could never fathom an open relationship it just breeds selfishness n jealousy. It never works. No point in wasting my time with something like that.

If you both only want each other tell him you dont want an open relationship anymore n focus on yourselves together n not extra people.

[lucybelle]

You guys all make a lot of sense. But, I know that my SO is quite the love shack, I mean he's slept with so many woman he doesn't even remember them all. So for me, if he wants to get laid, it's okay. Of course I don't like to think about it, and certainly don't want to KNOW about it, but if it makes him relax then it's fine. Just like how when I was with other guys, it didn't mean anything to me. It was just what it was.

I have to say before I was in this "open relationship" I thought I would never be able to do it either. But, it hasn't really been the torturous thing I thought for sure it would be.

I know no matter who he is with, he loves ME. If he didn't, he wouldn't buy expensive plane tickets to come see me, or make plans to move. Cuz he can obviously get some whenever he wants without flying 5000 miles! Though, I like what you guys all said I think that it might be time to make the commitment to be monogamous with each other.

He's coming to visit for Thanksgiving (SO CLOSE!!!) so we can talk about it then.

[justbreathe]

You guys all make a lot of sense. But, I know that my SO is quite the love shack, I mean he's slept with so many woman he doesn't even remember them all. So for me, if he wants to get laid, it's okay. Of course I don't like to think about it, and certainly don't want to KNOW about it, but if it makes him relax then it's fine. Just like how when I was with other guys, it didn't mean anything to me. It was just what it was.

I have to say before I was in this "open relationship" I thought I would never be able to do it either. But, it hasn't really been the torturous thing I thought for sure it would be.

I know no matter who he is with, he loves ME. If he didn't, he wouldn't buy expensive plane tickets to come see me, or make plans to move. Cuz he can obviously get some whenever he wants without flying 5000 miles! Though, I like what you guys all said I think that it might be time to make the commitment to be monogamous with each other.

He's coming to visit for Thanksgiving (SO CLOSE!!!) so we can talk about it then.

Good luck! I hope you guys have a good talk.

[Miramaid]

Well i am going crazy about this thing.... I know that me and my BF will have to be on a distance for years. And i am talking YEARS. Coz none of us will be able to move or anything any time soon. AND i personally hate the idea of open relationships and I have never been in an open relationship before and never would want to be. BUT knowing him and he is VERY attractive and he had slept with a lot of women before that he doesn't even remember them all...I do nto know if he can stay committed for many years that we will have to be apart.
I HATE the idea of an open relationship. I am a jealous type and so is he. I have NO idea how long distance relationship will work and if they do at all if two people will be apart for at least 5 years. And if there is even a point in being in such a relationship. When I try to talk to him about it (well I do not ever say "is there a point in being in a relationship") he shuts down and just says "Well if you want to break up...." and that is NOT what I want!!! I love him and I want to be with him, but I mean there is gotta be a way somewhere out there so we do not have to be apart for years and not even know for sure when we will be together every day. There is gotta be some other way but none of us sees that way :'( That literally drives me crazy and pushes us apart coz I feel bad every time I bring it up and he just gets distant :'(

[Rugger]

I don't share well at all. And neither does my boyfriend. So no open relationships for us

However, I know an older man on another forum I frequent, who has a open relationship with his wife. They make it work. It's very interesting.

[mllebamako]

Well i am going crazy about this thing.... I know that me and my BF will have to be on a distance for years. And i am talking YEARS. Coz none of us will be able to move or anything any time soon. AND i personally hate the idea of open relationships and I have never been in an open relationship before and never would want to be. BUT knowing him and he is VERY attractive and he had slept with a lot of women before that he doesn't even remember them all...I do nto know if he can stay committed for many years that we will have to be apart.
I HATE the idea of an open relationship. I am a jealous type and so is he. I have NO idea how long distance relationship will work and if they do at all if two people will be apart for at least 5 years. And if there is even a point in being in such a relationship. When I try to talk to him about it (well I do not ever say "is there a point in being in a relationship") he shuts down and just says "Well if you want to break up...." and that is NOT what I want!!! I love him and I want to be with him, but I mean there is gotta be a way somewhere out there so we do not have to be apart for years and not even know for sure when we will be together every day. There is gotta be some other way but none of us sees that way :'( That literally drives me crazy and pushes us apart coz I feel bad every time I bring it up and he just gets distant :'(

You should be able to talk to your SO about anything without feeling bad or without him cutting down the conversation by just suggesting that you want to break up. That isn't fair nor is it an adult way to have a conversation.
Plus if you guys never talk about the boundaries of your relationship you are going to drive yourself crazy wondering if he's out there hooking up with other girls.

PS being attractive is not a reason to cheat

[Caitlin2009]

the only people i ever share Denise with is our two best male friends, they are great guys very sweet and always watching out for us and even then they have to ask both of us permission if they can do things with us. Other then that our relationship is closed to everybody else, i mean whatever floats your boat if your into that fully without any problems then go for it

[Elissa]

Open relationship disgust me..
I was taught that sex is supposed to be between two people who love each other. IMO, open relationships rarely work out.
But what do I know?

[Heather]

I don't see open relationships ever working out. But many people don't see long distance relationships work out(There's proof for that one ) so I guess open relationships COULD work, but it would difficult, more difficult then actually being in a LDR. I personally don't see sex being a reason to "hook up with someone" ever. You don't know what kind of diseases they have(no offense!) but I like being clean down there.. Also, I am a very possessive "I want you all to myself" kinda person.. MAJORLY(eh babe? lol) If my SO can have sex with another woman or even think about another woman in that way I would automatically assume, he isn't attracted to me and I'm not enough for him or maybe even that he doesn't love ME.. there's webcam, phone, skype, IM, pictures etc..to get yourself off when you can't be with your SO.

I would be afraid of an open relationship, questions would run through my mind like.. what if he can fall in love with another girl after they have sex because he feels a deep connection with her? etc.. So yeah, I'm rambling..but that's my opinion.

No open relationships for me. Good luck with yours!! best wishes

[Darth_Taco]

If you two feel comfortable doing an open relationship, I say go for it. Just make sure you're both comfortable and not just doing it to please the other, and please for the love of God use protection. An accidental child can't be pleasant, but not as unpleasant as AIDS or herpes. Please tell me you discussed protection and birth control! D:

I personally couldn't do it, I don't know why. I cheated in all my other relationships, but I never even considered anything with anyone else since I got together with Enrique. I fell in love though, so I think that has something to do with it. I always left flirting an option for both of us, just to respect each other and not do it in front of each other XP, unless we're flirting with the same person at the same time ;D. That's mostly to mess with people though. Checking out people is always open no mater what, even in front of each other. You're just looking, so no harm done. Just keep the looking at the relatives to a minimum! D:<

[lucybelle]

I think some of you might be equating being in an open relationship to being promiscuous. It is not the same. Just because we have decided that it is okay for us to be with other people while we are apart, does not mean I'm going around and screwing everything that moves! I've had sex with just 2 people and of course we used protection (plus I'm on the pill). I'm not even looking for someone to sleep with. It's more like, if it happens, it happens.

Please when you hear someone is in an open relationship, do not assume that they're going around throwing themselves at people.

[OwenXAbbey]

I think some of you might be equating being in an open relationship to being promiscuous. It is not the same. Just because we have decided that it is okay for us to be with other people while we are apart, does not mean I'm going around and screwing everything that moves!

Heh, i totally agree with you! People tend to think the samething about bisexuals. It doesn't mean you're promiscuous at all.

As many other people have said, as long as both people in the relationship have an understanding then I don't see anything wrong with being in an open relationship. It's just one of those things that will work for some and not others... not everyone equates sex with love, so I get it.

[Dauntedpoet]

Personally, to me, and open relationship isn't really a relationship. To me a relationship is a commitment- you stick together through the good things and when things just downright suck. Having an open relationship to me means you want the perks of the a relationship, but without the messy stuff what inevitably comes with it. Of course I have this opinion because I know for a fact I could never be in one. It's all or nothing for me.

But each to their own I guess. If both people are on the same page then way not? it's when one of them starts to drift away from the ground rules (which will almost certainly happen) when problems start to arise.

I couldn't have worded it better, I'm and all or nothing person, for me sex is a waste of time if you don't love and trust the other person.

I've never been in an open relationship, but the two that I witnessed were both cases of one person in the relationship was still 'shopping' for the right person and bailed as soon as they found who they really wanted, leaving the other completely destroyed.

[DemonxOisin]

I'm in an open relationship with my SO, and it works just fine. He just moved to university, and we can't be with each other, so why would I take that opportunity away from him? It's not like we go to great efforts to be promiscuous. To be honest, neither one of us has really taken that much advantage of it yet. It just means that if something ever does happen, then we don't have to fight about it, or lose trust/respect for each other.
Trust is really important in this kind of relationship though. We both tell each other whenever there is someone else, and trust that we still love each other, and that the attraction is only sexual. It is also only temporary for us. We intend to close the relationship with the distane.