Hello,
I’m brand new here. I’m actually not sure if I should be joining a long-distance relationship website at this early stage, but I figure it can’t hurt. I’m really just hoping for tips, suggestions, advice, etc. I think my message is a bit long, so bear with me.
Well, let me begin by saying I don’t even know yet if my romantic interest and I are in a relationship. My first thought would be to say no, we’re not. But I’m 100% sure I’d like to see where this goes and become involved in a long-distance relationship. I eagerly await his messages, and when they do come in I read them several times even after I reply. I don’t know if he’s the one, but I know at this point that I’d like to become more romantically involved.
Okay, here’s the story… About a week ago I met this guy through an online dating website. I live in the states and he lives internationally. Approximately 7200 miles away. I was the one who approached him, and his response to my “are-you-interested” overture was positive. We began to communicate. At this moment in time we’ve exchanged some getting-to-know you e-mails but that’s about it.
What I don’t know is where to go from here. The exchanging of information has been great, but what next? I’ve read so many dating forums. I’ve even talked to a close relative who also met their significant other on a dating website and just happens to be in a long-distance engagement until the other person finishes school. So much advice and cautions have been tossed my way. What I’m really worried about now is pace. I’ve seen many people say after the first couple of e-mails, the two should be talking. Then after that, arranging to meet.
This is the reason I’m here. I’ve already been burned a bit by someone in the past and am at a point where I don’t trust my instincts anymore. I was on this same dating website a year or so ago and met another person, just coincidence, who also lived internationally. I don’t hold any grudges against this guy, because I understand he can’t help that he wasn’t as into me as I was to him. But 10 months down the line, we hadn’t talked on the phone nor even discussed our “relationship”. I was the one who kept hinting about talking on the phone, maybe even meeting. But he ignored it and acted like nothing was wrong. Almost a year later when I finally sent him an e-mail and asked him point blank if he wanted to go our separate ways, he took three weeks to tell me he needed to get used to the idea of talking on the phone. Give him time. I ended things after that message. I knew which way the wind was blowing, but I guess I had wanted to hear from his mouth he wanted out, which is why I stuck around so long.
Anyway, does anyone have any suggestions? I want to bring up the subject with the new guy about using Skype or something to talk, but I’m worried about moving too fast. Also, it seems in all my relationships, I’m the one asking to move things along. And yet when I ask friends if guys still make the first move, majority of people say yes.
So I suppose my questions are… The pace of this “relationship”. How long should I wait for him to make a move before I do? And if I make a move and suggest talking on the phone and he doesn’t acknowledge it, what do I do?
Also, if anyone is involved in an international long-distance relationship, I’d love to hear how you managed. How you’re getting along. Have you ever met and how did it come about? Any advice?
Thank you!
I’m brand new here. I’m actually not sure if I should be joining a long-distance relationship website at this early stage, but I figure it can’t hurt. I’m really just hoping for tips, suggestions, advice, etc. I think my message is a bit long, so bear with me.
Well, let me begin by saying I don’t even know yet if my romantic interest and I are in a relationship. My first thought would be to say no, we’re not. But I’m 100% sure I’d like to see where this goes and become involved in a long-distance relationship. I eagerly await his messages, and when they do come in I read them several times even after I reply. I don’t know if he’s the one, but I know at this point that I’d like to become more romantically involved.
Okay, here’s the story… About a week ago I met this guy through an online dating website. I live in the states and he lives internationally. Approximately 7200 miles away. I was the one who approached him, and his response to my “are-you-interested” overture was positive. We began to communicate. At this moment in time we’ve exchanged some getting-to-know you e-mails but that’s about it.
What I don’t know is where to go from here. The exchanging of information has been great, but what next? I’ve read so many dating forums. I’ve even talked to a close relative who also met their significant other on a dating website and just happens to be in a long-distance engagement until the other person finishes school. So much advice and cautions have been tossed my way. What I’m really worried about now is pace. I’ve seen many people say after the first couple of e-mails, the two should be talking. Then after that, arranging to meet.
This is the reason I’m here. I’ve already been burned a bit by someone in the past and am at a point where I don’t trust my instincts anymore. I was on this same dating website a year or so ago and met another person, just coincidence, who also lived internationally. I don’t hold any grudges against this guy, because I understand he can’t help that he wasn’t as into me as I was to him. But 10 months down the line, we hadn’t talked on the phone nor even discussed our “relationship”. I was the one who kept hinting about talking on the phone, maybe even meeting. But he ignored it and acted like nothing was wrong. Almost a year later when I finally sent him an e-mail and asked him point blank if he wanted to go our separate ways, he took three weeks to tell me he needed to get used to the idea of talking on the phone. Give him time. I ended things after that message. I knew which way the wind was blowing, but I guess I had wanted to hear from his mouth he wanted out, which is why I stuck around so long.
Anyway, does anyone have any suggestions? I want to bring up the subject with the new guy about using Skype or something to talk, but I’m worried about moving too fast. Also, it seems in all my relationships, I’m the one asking to move things along. And yet when I ask friends if guys still make the first move, majority of people say yes.
So I suppose my questions are… The pace of this “relationship”. How long should I wait for him to make a move before I do? And if I make a move and suggest talking on the phone and he doesn’t acknowledge it, what do I do?
Also, if anyone is involved in an international long-distance relationship, I’d love to hear how you managed. How you’re getting along. Have you ever met and how did it come about? Any advice?
Thank you!
The pace, really, is what you're comfortable with. Good luck!
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