Not sure if this has been discussed or not...but how long are you willing to wait for your SO?? I've been reading lately about plans falling through for some people, myself included. So I was just wondering how long would you wait? What if you knew you couldn't be together for 6 years? 8 years? Or however many years it would take. What would you do?
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it's not a dream anymore, it's worth fighting for -
My bf knows I would for as long as he was in the Navy and we couldn't be together. I have school for the next four years basically, so I doubt we would be able to live together for a while. I am fine with that and so is he. To me he is worth the wait no matter how long. We have a great relationship even with him 5000 miles away in Europe. We have discussed this before and he knows how I feel. I am sure we will discuss it more in depth when I see him.
You have to ask yourself do you want to wait years? Is it worth it for you mentally in the end? Can you handle it? Would YOU be willing to move?
I have told my bf I would move since it's easier for me to up and move over him. I wish I were with him right now but he knows I will only move if he asked me to. I know once he is back in the states it will be easier for me to transfer schools but right now he is in Europe and that isn't gonna happen. I am fine with waiting. So far a quarter of the wait is over with and soon it will be over with.
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I honestly think because I am in univeristy and would like to be in my secondlast year or last year before we close the distance which means i'll be waiting about 2-3 years.. I think i'd be willing to wait 4 years if I had to.. maybe 5 it's hard to determine without knowing any type of circumstances.Comment
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Like I say a lot on here, I waited 20 years for him to come along, I'll wait 20 more and it's the truth. I'd rather not have to, but if it takes us that long to save up to be together forever, then it's what we'll have to do. Hopefully in the mean time there'd be visits. Not sure I could go that long without at least a handful of visits.Comment
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There's a similar thread, I think. I'm too lazy to look for it though.
Anywhoo... I can't think of a single reason that would keep Obi and I apart for a period of time so excessive I'd think of leaving. But I want to live my life now, so you wont find me saying "I'd wait forever" because I wouldn't. But I think, for us personally, if we had to go back to LD and wait for more than a year, we're simply not trying hard enough, not making each other enough of a priority.Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person
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Ugghhh. That's a GREAT thread question (and painful to consider. But thought-provoking!).
Even now, I'm sitting here thinking how to best answer this honestly!
I don't want to give the expected line of me and simply say, "Oh, yes. My love is so strong I would wait for 25 more years to marry him!" (I met my SO when I was 25.) because I think it would make me sound good. (Although I have told him that before and said it before.) But I will say this:
At 16, I made a lot of bad decisions, one of which entering a relationship with someone I knew didn't share the same faith or values as myself. This guy (18, so, teenager really) was emotionally abusive and verbally manipulative. He didn't actually love me, he only wanted what he could get from me because he saw me as weak. (Years later after we broke up, I found an entry in a Live Journal about me, which confirms this.) It took me years to recover from this experience, especially after he cheated. (Wrongly, I felt like if I had just given in or something, he might have actually loved me. Like it was my fault he went elsewhere. Truth is, he knew up-front what my values were. He just wanted to force me to change my mind.) Needless to say, I learned a valuable lesson from this.
It was almost nine years later that I met my SO. In the meantime, I had gone on a few casual dates, but I had a lot of issues to work through. I also declined the attentions of a few men who, while really neat and nice people, weren't the right fit in our worldviews. It was a LONG nine years before I found my SO; I had times of great despair over whether a man like I was looking for actually existed. But almost immediately upon meeting him, we both experienced a great harmony in our expectations, similarity in our personalities, and common goals for the future.
So, back to answering the question: in the past I was able to wait nine years for him without even knowing whether or not he existed. Now I do know he is out there and we have shared many fond memories and begun to create a life together. This June we're planning to marry. We'll have been in an LDR for a year then. This past weekend, though, we started stressing about finances and wondering if it might not be a better idea to push the wedding back an additional year - which would mean another year of LDR.
Would I be excited about waiting longer? Certainly not. Would he be worth waiting another year for? Or two? Or ten? (as before.) Most definitely.
My heart belongs to a pilot!
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I can't really imagine any reason (besides military, prison, or death
) that I would have to be apart from my fiance for more than a year. I mean, I would wait longer if I had to, but I don't know...I just think we could (most of the time) find a way around the distance. If that meant pushing back some other plans by a couple of years than so be it.
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We talked about this before Penn moved across the country. At the time, we thought our long-distance was pretty much over--he'd just returned from a year in Spain. But I honestly don't really know.
I think, given my current situation, I don't know if I could wait much longer for him than I already have. But you have to understand: in June, I moved to a new city where I knew no one, and still don't really know that many people, and was hinging on the fact that Penn and I believed he'd only be living about an hour and a half away. I'm really not doing well with living alone in a city with no real safety net.
If I was still in the situation I was in when Penn was in Spain, when I was living with good friends, or if I had taken an internship offer up where my parents live instead of here, then yeah, I'd probably be able to make it for a bit longer, maybe 2-3 more years. But I'd have more people around me for support than I do now.
If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion...love actually is all aroundComment
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The reasons why my SO and I are apart are based on 2 things:
* visiting his family
* Having surgery on his broken collarbone
So I know that as he is based here with me, he will be visiting his family every year for about 2 months. But once we get a house have children that will be limited.Comment
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It's not as easy for bi-national couples when you have visa processes to wait through and for same sex couples like myself, we don't have all the same options as opposite sex couples.it's not a dream anymore, it's worth fighting forComment
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I might just be touchy today, but really, can we avoid the my-LDR-is-harder-than-yours thing just for one day? Please people? We all work with what we've got and there's always someone out there doing it tougher than you. Let's be happy for what we do have rather than go feeling sorry for ourselves.Originally posted by amb85 View Post
*Attempts to put thread back on track*
Ok, so, with that said, within your individual set of circumstances, how long would you wait?Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in personComment
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if i have waited all my life to finally me my soulmate i can wait however long to be with her under one roofComment
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I wasn't doing that I was simply giving an example of the different circumstances that could occur....it was just a general questionOriginally posted by Zephii View Postit's not a dream anymore, it's worth fighting forComment
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I would wait for him as long as it took and I know he would do the same for me.Comment
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Well I've waited about a year and a half. I'd maybe do one more year. That might sound terrible... I truly love my SO, but I feel that you can love many people. And if it took too long to be together, then it just wasn't our time. Maybe another time, but not right now.
Do you guys understand what I'm saying??Comment
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