Why is everyone so hung up on cheating lately?
But, to answer questions, yes, I have cheated in the past, and I'm a girl. (It's not just the men who do it!)
why did you do it? I was lonely. There were a lot of things missing from the relationship I was in, but I don't believe in giving up on relationships. I'd given my word I would never leave (and I stayed until he released me from that promise) so I did my best to fill in the gaps in the relationship in whatever ways I could. (We're talking intellectually cheating only - but, had the person I'd been cheating with come to my country at any point, I'd have gone physical without a second thought.)
Did you feel ashamed afterward? Mmm, maybe a little bit. I felt guilty, but most of that was fear. I knew what I was doing wrong, but I don't regret it for a second.
Did you tell your partner? He knew. There was no big confession or anything. He knew that I'd cyber random people online, and he knew that at some point it changed and there was only the one person I was flirting with. He knew that person sent me packages in the mail, and we talked on msn non-stop for years and that I'd close the window any time my ex approached the computer. He knew my "mistress's" name (is there a male version of "mistress"?), country, saw photos and even spoke to him on the phone. I think my ex knew that my mistress was playing a part in holding the relationship together, and that's why he never put a stop to it. He was hurt, I know that, but I don't think he considered it cheating.
Did you do it more than once? Yes. But, it was always the same mistress. I guess we had what you could call an emotional affair for several years. (Yes, my mistress knew I was in a relationship. He also knew I could do much better)
How did you expect your partner to react? I always kind of wanted him to fight a bit harder. I wanted him to break up with me or at least hit me. I knew if he finally raised a hand to me I would have the strength and a good reason to break my promise and run away. But as violent as he was around me, he never gave in.
When it comes to cheating within my relationship now, a very happy balanced relationship with my "mistress" , I'm not really concerned. The thing that scares me most is intellectual cheating, and I have in the past worried about the contact Obi has with people on the net, because he's still in contact with ex's/ex bed buddies. It caused me stress for a long time. But, I'm over it now, for the most part. I make sure I'm the very best girlfriend I know how to be, and I go out of my way to see that all his needs, not just the sexual ones, are being met. I check in with him frequently and ask about his level of contentment and if there's anything more I can do for him, or if there's anything he'd like me to change. So far, so good.
When we were LD I took the same approach, to the best of my ability, but I always gave him the option that he could come to me and ASK if he wanted to have sex with another person, and under the right conditions, I would have allowed that. Yes, it'd hurt, but to me trust is more important than monogamy./
Hope this helps
But, to answer questions, yes, I have cheated in the past, and I'm a girl. (It's not just the men who do it!)
why did you do it? I was lonely. There were a lot of things missing from the relationship I was in, but I don't believe in giving up on relationships. I'd given my word I would never leave (and I stayed until he released me from that promise) so I did my best to fill in the gaps in the relationship in whatever ways I could. (We're talking intellectually cheating only - but, had the person I'd been cheating with come to my country at any point, I'd have gone physical without a second thought.)
Did you feel ashamed afterward? Mmm, maybe a little bit. I felt guilty, but most of that was fear. I knew what I was doing wrong, but I don't regret it for a second.
Did you tell your partner? He knew. There was no big confession or anything. He knew that I'd cyber random people online, and he knew that at some point it changed and there was only the one person I was flirting with. He knew that person sent me packages in the mail, and we talked on msn non-stop for years and that I'd close the window any time my ex approached the computer. He knew my "mistress's" name (is there a male version of "mistress"?), country, saw photos and even spoke to him on the phone. I think my ex knew that my mistress was playing a part in holding the relationship together, and that's why he never put a stop to it. He was hurt, I know that, but I don't think he considered it cheating.
Did you do it more than once? Yes. But, it was always the same mistress. I guess we had what you could call an emotional affair for several years. (Yes, my mistress knew I was in a relationship. He also knew I could do much better)
How did you expect your partner to react? I always kind of wanted him to fight a bit harder. I wanted him to break up with me or at least hit me. I knew if he finally raised a hand to me I would have the strength and a good reason to break my promise and run away. But as violent as he was around me, he never gave in.
When it comes to cheating within my relationship now, a very happy balanced relationship with my "mistress" , I'm not really concerned. The thing that scares me most is intellectual cheating, and I have in the past worried about the contact Obi has with people on the net, because he's still in contact with ex's/ex bed buddies. It caused me stress for a long time. But, I'm over it now, for the most part. I make sure I'm the very best girlfriend I know how to be, and I go out of my way to see that all his needs, not just the sexual ones, are being met. I check in with him frequently and ask about his level of contentment and if there's anything more I can do for him, or if there's anything he'd like me to change. So far, so good.
When we were LD I took the same approach, to the best of my ability, but I always gave him the option that he could come to me and ASK if he wanted to have sex with another person, and under the right conditions, I would have allowed that. Yes, it'd hurt, but to me trust is more important than monogamy./
Hope this helps
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