Helpful Tips!

[sagittariusgirl89]

Ok, so I have been doing Long Distance for 5 months. My BF and I have been dating for a year and 7 months, and I read that people who used to date locally and then it turns into long distance they have a harder time adjusting...with that said:

I NEED SOME TIPS TO COPE!

I don't know if there is a point in a long distance relationship when I will ever just be Ok not being with my boyfriend. I don't cry nearly as much as I used to, but now I just feel blah about stuff. I have a hard time concentrating on my studies because I just have him on my mind. And I hate to say it, but when its like 2 days to go until my bf is here I'm in a much better mood.

My boyfriend left this morning and he said that this Friday he will let me know when I'll see him again. I mean I could see him this Saturday or Sunday, but I still feel sad. I just want to know if this is normal? And if there are any coping skills that you use? I am not a social butterfly, so going out with friends is out the window. But anything else is welcomed.

[Gurl]

It is very hard to go from CD to LD. I know first hand. The most important thing is to find things you enjoy doing that take your mind off the fact he is far away. A blog, a project for friend or other loved ones, learning a new language...ANYTHING can be helpful. I also find doing things like homework in small bursts helps get it done and keeps me from getting distracted in the process as I know in X number of mins I am going to put down the school stuff and do something else.

[MadMolly]

I find computer games help a lot, especially ones I can get lost in for hours. Other things I do are dance classes - if you do a 10 week course it can really put you in a good mood and give you something to practice as you get better and better and you will look trim and healthy at the end of the 10 weeks and your BF will see you looking great after so long, it'll be a treat for all!

[Tanja]

Excercise is proved to be a helpful way to cope when you're feeling down and depressed. When I get like that I won't do anything, I just sit on my sofa and feel sad and can't stop thinking about Andy... Times like those I just try to get up and start doing something, walk my dogs or clean, whatever physical things you can do to get yourself going. After a while you'll see you're feeling much better and you're pleased you got something useful done.

Or that's how it works with me anyway lol.

[Mio]

Always look forward to your time together and to when the distance will end.

[Tanja]

Like Mio said, making plans to meet each other will always help cause you'll have something to look forward to.

[Andy]

Like Mio said, making plans to meet each other will always help cause you'll have something to look forward to.

That's the best one, whenever we sort out plans and finalise them and get them booked then the count down begins right away

[Sarah M]

I just knew we weren't going to see each other for at least six months and I've made the effort to make him feel as loved as ever. I focus on what we're going to do when he comes over. Go out and do the things you want to do with him so you know if he'll like it or not... I know having plans to look forward to is lovely, but I'm someone who can't. We can't book the tickets yet because of work and dates and money. So who knows when we'll see each other next? But if you can do that, definitely do it!!! And Tanja is right, exercise is great!

...That's all I can think of. I guess uni is going to help keep my mind off it all. I wish you good luck!

[Elena]

These are some good tips I definitely agree about the excersize. And this is coming from someone who was a total couch potato just a few months ago, but getting into an excersize routine has really made me feel so much better!
I can't wait until I have the dates finalized for when we'll see each other again!

[A Silence in Winter]

As everyone has said before, exercise is GREAT! When my boyfriend moved away, he started going to a dojo and I picked my dance up again.

Hobbies are great things! Have you ever wanted to learn to do something obscure like rock climbing, belly dancing, or learn to cut hair? Now would be a GREAT time to do that! Picking up academic work is always nice.

My boyfriend and I have promised to communicate over the phone at least once a day, even if all we say is "Goodnight, I love you." It's comforting to hear his voice and know that he means the words.

Writing is also a wonderful to get out your emotions. You don't have to send it to him (unless you want to) but just get a piece of paper or open a word doc and just let it all out.

I also like to edit pictures and videos just for the fun of it and post them on YouTube. Some free programs you can use are GIMP for image editing and Windows Movie Maker for videos.

Reading a book is a GREAT use of time.

Volunteering at a local animal shelter, a school, a community improvement project, or anywhere else that accepts volunteers is something that can boost your confidence and take up time that would otherwise be spent missing your SO.

As mentioned before, the most important thing is to not brood over the situation. I think that there will always be some level of missing your SO because you love them and it never will stop hurting that they aren't by your side until they are physically there.

[Fishmath]

I'm not a social butterfly either. I managed to convince myself to start yoga after he left (and i LOVE it!). I also got a Netflix membership. There's nothing like curling up in bed and having a movie marathon when you start to miss him.

[Sarah M]

As everyone has said before, exercise is GREAT!
Reading a book is a GREAT use of time.

Definitely exercise and reading. Books are great. I love Jane Eyre and Rebecca. They're kind of romances, but they're gothic fiction, which gives them a lovely dark tang. They're the best reads I've ever had.

Also, whoever said classes were a good idea were right! They're perfect for making friends and also to keep your mind off things.

[Tanja]

The best way to spend a day that you think could get boring : walk for an hour at least, then back home, maybe a shower if you feel like it, a nice warm cup of coffee or tea and a good book, snuggle up on your sofa under a blanket and you'll feel as good as new! I usually get sleepy too after reading so I tend to nap in between the chapters

[Roberta]

Yeah, I can definitely understand where you're coming from. Diego and I dated for about 1 year and 9 months before he left for Chicago. Before that, he literally lived a block away from me. I still look down his street as I pass it coming home from school. xD So, we definitely had to deal with a huge change in distance. Pretty much like everyone else said, keeping busy is important. I agree with Sarah, Jane Eyre is an amazing read. Plus it's long so it'll take up a good amount of time. =D Reading a book with your SO can keep you busy and give you something to talk about on the phone. =D Diego and I are planning on reading Flatland (which he finally got in the mail! Yay!), Wuthering Heights, Moby Dick, and I think we have a few others lined up that I can't think of at the moment... lol. We like reading classics since they're books that we really should read but never force ourselves to... xD

[Sarah M]

Diego and I are planning on reading Flatland (which he finally got in the mail! Yay!), Wuthering Heights, Moby Dick, and I think we have a few others lined up that I can't think of at the moment... lol. We like reading classics since they're books that we really should read but never force ourselves to... xD

I read Wuthering Heights recently, but was really disappointed. When you finish, write me and tell me what you thought!