I am working on a main gift for my SO for Christmas (I am knitting him a scarf and have learned quite a few new stitches, etc. to make it really fancy for him)--it's taking me a long time. Plus, I am very excited about getting gifts for him and am working on some other ideas to include in my package (perhaps, that is for another post or the gift thread).
I thought a good idea would be a book and I was trying to guilefully pry information from him for something I might get, but I failed miserably. The worst part, though, was that I guess I had assumed that he was at least somewhat into Christmas or wintertime celebrations (I mean, his family's business runs a huge New Year's event for the whole town, he seemed to be encouraging my talk of doing winter sports and carols, and seemed to be excited for talk of winter celebrations and weather, etc.). I asked him if he was decorating anything in his apartment and he just flat out said no and launched into a rant that he wasn't that into Christmas-y things (and, just so it's clear, this isn't a case of forcing any religious beliefs on him). I felt like this was needless grumpiness from him and was pretty surprised he was expressing it, so I just went quiet and finally couldn't help it and said that that was curmudgeonly!
I'm feeling pretty deflated, because I really love celebrating Christmas and winter things and this year, especially, I need something really positive like that to look forward to and though I didn't expect him to match my enthusiasm, I did expect that he was a little excited for it, too. I know there was a similar thread about this maybe for birthday gifts and other celebrations and there was also one about opinions on gift-giving expectations (but I need some time to talk about my personal situation, right? I hope you can understand--I don't think that any of us would want to have someone feel trepidation about posting something just because it is similar to something else, especially when one is aware of and has read similar threads and still needs help). I don't want to seem spoiled and nasty, but it was really important to me that we exchange gifts for Christmas and have that to look forward to together (especially since it seems like we're not even sure if we will see each other this winter). You might say that I should have told him that or still should, but the way I have been raised...it is incredibly rude to ask someone for a gift...so, I feel a bit stuck (I think it is reasonable to want to exchange at least cards...but since we have been dating for awhile now and have known each other longer, I think that exchanging a meaningful gift of any size or value would be reasonable--he could make me a shoddy popsicle stick house and I would be happy. Plus, he used to send me packages and little keepsakes all the time and now he has all but stopped--I haven't even had a postcard this month, even though I used one of my wishes for it...and, so, maybe what follows is a bit babyish, but I am sad and surprised that there's a very real possibility that he wasn't planning to give me anything at all).
What do I say to him? Or, if I should just go on with giving him something regardless, should I be more moderate and just stick with the scarf and a card? I surely am disappointed.
I thought a good idea would be a book and I was trying to guilefully pry information from him for something I might get, but I failed miserably. The worst part, though, was that I guess I had assumed that he was at least somewhat into Christmas or wintertime celebrations (I mean, his family's business runs a huge New Year's event for the whole town, he seemed to be encouraging my talk of doing winter sports and carols, and seemed to be excited for talk of winter celebrations and weather, etc.). I asked him if he was decorating anything in his apartment and he just flat out said no and launched into a rant that he wasn't that into Christmas-y things (and, just so it's clear, this isn't a case of forcing any religious beliefs on him). I felt like this was needless grumpiness from him and was pretty surprised he was expressing it, so I just went quiet and finally couldn't help it and said that that was curmudgeonly!
I'm feeling pretty deflated, because I really love celebrating Christmas and winter things and this year, especially, I need something really positive like that to look forward to and though I didn't expect him to match my enthusiasm, I did expect that he was a little excited for it, too. I know there was a similar thread about this maybe for birthday gifts and other celebrations and there was also one about opinions on gift-giving expectations (but I need some time to talk about my personal situation, right? I hope you can understand--I don't think that any of us would want to have someone feel trepidation about posting something just because it is similar to something else, especially when one is aware of and has read similar threads and still needs help). I don't want to seem spoiled and nasty, but it was really important to me that we exchange gifts for Christmas and have that to look forward to together (especially since it seems like we're not even sure if we will see each other this winter). You might say that I should have told him that or still should, but the way I have been raised...it is incredibly rude to ask someone for a gift...so, I feel a bit stuck (I think it is reasonable to want to exchange at least cards...but since we have been dating for awhile now and have known each other longer, I think that exchanging a meaningful gift of any size or value would be reasonable--he could make me a shoddy popsicle stick house and I would be happy. Plus, he used to send me packages and little keepsakes all the time and now he has all but stopped--I haven't even had a postcard this month, even though I used one of my wishes for it...and, so, maybe what follows is a bit babyish, but I am sad and surprised that there's a very real possibility that he wasn't planning to give me anything at all).
What do I say to him? Or, if I should just go on with giving him something regardless, should I be more moderate and just stick with the scarf and a card? I surely am disappointed.
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