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    #1

    Can we still be friends?

    Will and Me, meet in high school in Bogota Colombia.
    When he left to college in Pittsburgh PA USA we
    decided to try our luck at a long distance relationship.

    We had our ups and downs but we thought we could
    overcome anything together. We did for two years our
    relationship was great. There was never any cheating,
    lying and we never lost the love. This year i am the one
    moving to college in Buenos Aires and 3 weeks ago
    we started to see how impossible it was going to be
    for us to see each other anytime soon.

    The distance started tearing us apart as a couple and for weeks we argued,
    thought about how we could work it out and cried bucket loads.
    I started to feel lonely and unhappy with myself we decided it
    was best to end the relationship because we where dragging each other
    down and tearing each other apart with the thought of not having any time together at least for a year. I figured i would let it roll on faith, if its meant to be we will find a way of meeting in the future or our paths meet somehow.


    Heres the thing
    I still love him and he still loves me. There is no remorse because the brake up was mutual agreement. We have a lot in common and we have a really good time talking, we really tell each other everything. Question is: can we still be friends? can you still be your ex-boyfriends friend? I have read some articles on the internet but seeing as it was a long distance relationship does it make it any different? Have any of you broken up with your LDR Boyfriend or girlfriend and are still good friend? If so, help me out and tell me a bit about it!


    Thank you
    Tags: brake up, friend, good idea?, love
    #2
    My ex-boyfriends are my really good friends

    But! It took some time, you both have to move on first. I am pretty sure that if you stay in touch now you will discuss getting back together at some point.

    Comment

      #3
      I don't know about being friends, but I am a bit confused as to why you two broke it off. A year is horrible, I know...I've not seen my honey in a year and two months (but will see him tomorrow). But I can tell you that, if you love each other enough and are both willing to work on and fight for what you have, it can be done. There are many couples who've been 3, 4 and even 10 plus years long distance.

      Not sure you could just be friends though. When you love someone, it's hard to see them move on...which one of you will eventually do. My thought is trying to salvage a friendship could work, if you are both prepared for the possiblity of one of you moving into other relationships before the other does..and the hurt it could cause. I wish you best of luck no matter what happens.

      Comment

        #4
        Well I wanted to stay friends with my ex-h because of the kids and it isn't easy. The one thing I would say is it is easy until one or other of you gets a new partner. So bear that in mind if you are thinking of doing it. Even if you aren't together romantically, feelings do get hurt and it's like you broke up all over again. So take time for yourself to heal first and make sure that it really is over.

        Comment

          #5
          Personally, I know it is possible, because my current SO and I did the LDR many years ago (way before there were cool websites like this for support ) ... He really became my best friend and when we split up, we were able to keep that friendship going for many, many years. I won't say it was particularly easy for either of us when we would hear the news about new relationships, but we managed. Happily, we've reunited but even if we hadn't, I know he would still be my best friend in the world. It's all about how you handle it. I agree, a bit of distance at first is needed. And lots of support from friends to keep you from initially sliding backwards, but that's the same as a close distance relationship.

          Good luck, whatever you decide!

          Comment

            #6
            Well I 'broke up' with Obi because the distance was too far, we could never make it work.. blah blah... and now I'm living with him. For a long time we did remain friends and dated other people, but it wasn't fair on any other those other people because our hearts were too tangled up with each other. If you can give up on what you have and go separate ways and actually give your new relationships the chance they deserve, go for it. But seeming you both still love each other, I think that'll be quite difficult.
            Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

            Comment

              #7
              Hmm, I'm still friends with one of my exes... I think you have to completely get over them before you can be friends though, because if you don't then the feelings (regardless of who broke up with who) will most likely rise to the surface again. That's my thoughts on it. It is possible, though.

              Comment

                #8
                It's possible, my ex and I are still friends but then we wouldn't want it any other way because we are both important to each other. You should take some time to heal if you want to go the friends route.




                Treasuretrooper <-- how I helped pay for some of my LDR expenses when I was in one.

                Comment

                  #9
                  IMO, I think it's really hard to be friend with an ex, especially if one or both of you still has feelings. I think that there's always going to be on person with some leftover feelings so I personally avoid being friends with my exes.

                  I tried to stay friends with my ex-boyfriend (we were in an LDR) and we just ended up never being able to move on and date other people. Then we would decide to be together, then break up, and then decide to be together, and ....you get the point.
                  I was finally able to move on after we cut contact completely.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Thankyou so much everyone! Although I am talking about a brake up i really hope all your relationships work out for the best.
                    And all the best things in life take time and effort.

                    I feel like this brake up took a huge height off my back as horrible as that sounds.
                    Will and I traveled all over the states for 4 months this last summer...we forgot all about the
                    fact that we where in a long distance relationship.

                    It was really hard for both of us to rebuild a long distance relationship being so used to having eachother
                    around 24/7 to just 3 hours a day, To make it worse not having a clue
                    when we would ever see eachother again. I been feeling heart broken and lonely without him
                    since i left which was 3 months ago. Its only been 4 days since we broke up but i feel a new energy we can talk without arguing or
                    thinking What if. I think most of you are right in saying i will be hard when he finds a new parter he will be having new memories
                    with her and forgeting what he had with me. But if he is happy i will understand.

                    Has anyone been in a long distance relationship broken up and years later found there ex and it was just meant to be?
                    the time fit perfect the chemistry was back? I think if its ment to happen it will happen but for now its not the time or the moment.

                    Comment

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