I knew this was coming...

[sabby64]

Well, it's that time of year, when all us students get super busy and overloaded with projects, homework and exams. I'm starting to feel it, and I know others are feeling it too.

Here's the thing, Brandon is in his last year, and he has a HUGE final project he's been working on since September, and with all of this visiting he's gotten really far behind. I started to notice he was texting me alot less, taking forever to get back to me. He told me to stop talking to him on msn, and he doesn't want to do video chats anymore because he can't concentrate... All because literally all of his time now goes into this project.

Last night we had a bit of a fight about it. I'm really selfish, and I know I am, and I told him that. I said something along the lines of not even wanting to talk to him until his project is done, because I feel worse about it when I start talking and I'm just ignored, and of course he takes it the wrong way and thinks I'm being sarcastic and stuff. Anyways he said he still wants to talk but I keep trying today and every time he says he's busy or he doesn't know. I feel worse and worse each time. He says he wouldn't expect me to understand, which of course made me feel really immature and started another fight.

I REALLY don't want to be mad at him for this. I know he needs to work hard on this and I know I should support that but I don't know what to do. The project is due on the 9th, which isn't too long from now anyways. I don't know whether to stop talking to him or to keep trying and be ignored, I don't know how to distract myself from this and I don't know how to keep myself from looking like an immature little girl. I don't know what he wants from me right now, and it hurts. I'm going through a really hard time right now and I need him but feel selfish for even bringing it up when I talk to him. I need someone to talk to and he says he'll listen but halfway through he tells me to stop because he's 'gotta finish this by tomorrow' or 'needs some sleep for class'... It keeps me up at night. I don't know. Am I even making sense anymore? I'm ranting, aren't I...

*sigh* Anyways... any thoughts, guys? :P

[Zephii]

I guess, the best you can do is let him contact you. If you must send messages, word them in a way that does not require a response so neither of you feel bad when he doesn't respond.
And then perhaps start blogging like a mad woman to keep your sanity?

[Bluestars]

I can kind of relate to that because last year at around this time my SO had to write his senior thesis research paper before he graduated....and it sucked big time for our relationship. For around two months, we barely talked to each other at all because he said he was busy all the time. There were times I really freaked out about it, and that only made me look bad because it made me seem clingy and insecure, when all I really wanted was thirty minutes of "us" time without him worrying about his paper. However, once it was over, everything went back to normal and he had time to talk again.

I know that it is very, very hard, but like you said, it is only until December 10. I have become a lot more independent since then, so I am a lot better at handling things like this now. For instance, my SO was working around 60 hours a week until this past Saturday, which was the last day at his second job. For the entire two weeks, I kept telling myself, "I cannot wait until Saturday!" Finally it arrived and we have already talked way more. Just try doing stuff on your own and try not to focus on the negative. Maybe you can do a project during your free time or something

[Čternity]

Well, I'll try and answer as if it were me and what I did but think about if the situation was reversed and you were desperate to finish a final project in your last year? What would you want and how would you ask him for the time you needed without him feeling hurt?

I need someone to talk to

Apart from him, are there other people you can talk to at the moment? Family, friends, LFADers anyone, just til he finishes?

I don't know whether to stop talking to him or to keep trying and be ignored,

For me, I just stopped talking, gave him his space and waited for him to be ready, easy? not in the slightest. But if you are going to do that tell him that, don't just stop. Say, "ok I'm giving you space to finish. I'll be here if you need or want to talk to me but I'll respect that you'll know if you have the time to be able to do that or not". Maybe you can book a time to talk each day when he breaks for dinner or lunch? He does need to take breaks, can't be working 24/7 even five minutes would be great.

I don't know how to distract myself from this

Write a list of everything you can do without him, maybe things you've been putting off? Then get busy on the list. If you can do things away from the computer I would because it sounds like the temptation to IM him while you sit there may be too much.

I don't know how to keep myself from looking like an immature little girl.

Just need patience, and lots of it, for the next couple of weeks that's how you'll do that. Use the time to do stuff in your own life you may need or want to do.

Hope this helps a tough situation but luckily only til the 9th. Good luck with your end of year exams and projects.

[TknandLvnIt]

I completely agree with Eternity...its really hard but its important to have a life and identity unto one's self separate from your relationship. Even though you love him and want to be able to share with him there are times when that won't be possible. I have learned to text him that I have something I really have something I need and want to talk to him about and ask him to talk about it when he is free...I make a list of the things I wanted to talk to him about that I thought would burst out and when I do talk to him I still can feel just as excited because I know I didn't forget anything. Maybe you can email him or something about your issues....And understand that he isn't not talking to you because he doesn't want to but because he is busy...and that if he could be he would be. I had to learn that lesson myself and now even though it frustrates me that he isn't free I know that when he is he will talk to me and I'm sure the same is true for your SO

[Silviar]

You need a break from the brain cycle of frustration. I can't recommend enough just getting up and concentrating on yourself/family/other things for a few days until his project is finished.

[luna_banana]

Hey girl! I remember you saying you really liked pokemon (as do I) so maybe to occupy your time you could try to find an english emulation of the new pokemon black or white? Sadly, my SO and I are both in our senior years and trying to get college applications done, so we haven't had time to try it out, but I've heard it's a LOT of fun and really addicting, haha.

OR POKEPARK, PIKACHU'S ADVENTURE IF YOU HAVE A WII! I wan't that game soooooooo badly but I have to wait until christmas because I'm broke

Also, when my boyfriend and I first when long-distance, because of phone bills we could hardly talk on the phone, we just texted. And I know it may not be the most enjoyable thing, but if you guys texted each other then he could reply in his free time, like when he's taking a water break or something. So you could still have enjoyable/meaningful conversation, it would just be a bit slow. It will be okay, in less than 3 weeks you will have your SO back all to yourself!

[Yorkshire Girl]

Projects are dofficult, especially if they are as huge as your SO's. Maybe try set designated times to texts (sounds like a military operation I know) but I understand where he is coming from. I am in my final year and have a huge project of my own to do. My SO and I text morning and night and the days I can focus on my work.

Hope you get things sorted =)